Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

She may have a point

So I was at my parents' house last week. They moved to a new town last fall--it's not the house I grew up in or anything--which means I'm not super familiar with the neighborhood. Which also, naturally, gives my mom extra license to participate in one of her very favorite activities ever, backseat driving, when I am there.

So I'm driving my mom and my brother to lunch. We're going down a big hill, and I hug one of the turns a little close. And when I say a little, I mean, like, BARELY.

"Swishy!" she gasps, throwing herself around like Raggedy Ann over there for effect. "Be careful!"

"MOM."

"SWISHY," she says, and let me tell you, there hasn't been this kind of drama in her tone since a certain aunt engaged in certain extracurricular activities right before my cousin's wedding, "Swishy, I'm not even kidding, someone DIES on this road almost EVERY DAY."

I nearly almost DO drive off the road this time, because oh, my goodness, if there was not a more melodramatic statement in all the world. I can't stop laughing.

"You are beyond ridiculous," I say.

"It's true," she insists. "Almost every day there's an ambulance going down the road."

I tell her if those kind of scare tactics didn't work when she told me my face would freeze that way and the gum would stick to the walls of my stomach forever, they were not about to start working now. And yet, there she goes again with the death talk on the way back after lunch.

"RIGHT," I say, waving my hands in the air. "It's a TOTAL DEATH TRAP of a street. People are just DYING left and right. I mean, really. REALLY."

My brother pipes up from the backseat: "Well, there IS a senior citizen home on the street."

I whip around. "WHAT? Is that true?"

My mom shrugs. "I just said a lot of people died on this road, I didn't say HOW."

18 Comments:

At 7:21 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

Ha! Your mom's funny. It would appear that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Good stuff.

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger Beth said...

well well well....now we all know where you get it from!!!!! HHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger Mandy said...

Ha! Thats brilliant, something that my mom would say as well.

 
At 9:22 AM, Blogger Cheryl said...

Gotta love a mom like that. I hope you had a great visit (and stopped racing down that hill).LOL

 
At 11:06 AM, Blogger kk said...

I left you an award on my blog!

http://littleshoeprincess.blogspot.com/2009/08/its-award-season.html

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Thank you KK! That is so sweet of you!

 
At 8:50 PM, Anonymous ree said...

I love your mom.

 
At 10:49 AM, Blogger Angela Williams Duea said...

Hilarious! Your mom and my mom should get together and cook up some drama!

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger Melek said...

hahaha...love it. i think you're not officially a mom until you learn to spin facts like that.

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger Cecily R said...

Shhhhhh. Don't tell, but I can totally see myself pulling that crap with my kids in a few years. HAHAHAHA! I think I love your mom!

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

hahah! Thanks for the laugh! I'm crabby, and knew you would make me smile! BTW, exactly WHAT kind of extracurricular activities were being done by your aunt? Drugs or sex or all of the above?

 
At 6:33 PM, Blogger Baglady said...

That's brill. :)

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger Eileen said...

snort. Now we know where you get it for sure.

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger Bina said...

LOVE it! Your mom sounds GREAT!!!!!

 
At 11:42 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

HA! Love it! That is so a trick my mom would pull.

 
At 3:22 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

That's brilliant. As I've long believed, you should have your own show: The Swishy Chronicles. It would be huge.

 
At 8:40 AM, Blogger Mary Ann said...

Your mom sounds fabulous. Like you!

 
At 9:16 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Mom and I are the only people who valet and shrug and say if you scratch the car it's cool, we did (and still do) it first. And no ride is complete w/o a few curb checks.

Honey get's p/o cause I always AIM for the driveway but never really make it. If I was breaking sprinkler heads, I could understand. BUT IT"S A YARD!

 

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