Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Buenos dias

So I'm going on a little vacay to Mexico tomorrow, where I hopefully will get very tan and well-rested and NOT catch swine flu. I hadn't told my parents I was going out of town, probably because in my head I am still 12 and feel like I need permission to spend the night at Stacey Klein's house, let alone go out of the country by myself. But then I had visions of being abducted or my house burning down or some big family drama breaking out the one weekend I don't have my cell phone glued to my hip, and decided I probably should give my mom a heads up that I wouldn't be around JUST IN CASE.

Me: OK, so I'm going out of town for a couple of days, just so you know.
Her: Where?
Me: Not telling.
Me: Because. You'd freak out.
Her (indignant): I would not FREAK OUT. I get it, you're an adult. I GET IT. (Pause.) Does this have something to do with a boy? Is that why you won't tell me?
Me: NO! I'm not telling you because you'd freak out.
Her: You give me no credit. (Thinks for a second.) Alabama?
Me: Mom. Why would I go to Alabama?
Her: Arkansas?
Me: MOM!
Her: Well, you SAID I would freak out.
(It's possible my mother has some unresolved issues with the South.)

(Much, much later.)
Me: FINE. I'll give you a hint. (I snort like a pig.)
Her: I KNEW it was Alabama!
Me: MOM!
Her: Pigs ... bacon ... ham ... OH! Swine flu! Mexico! (Pause.) I thought you said I'd freak out. We've got more swine flu in the New York area than they do in the whole COUNTRY of Mexico right now.
Me: I know, I know.
Her: I thought you were going to tell me somewhere where you were going to be sold into white slavery or something. You're so ... paranoid.
Me: I KNOW I'm paranoid. I'm the most paranoid person I know.

But here's the thing: Can you REALLY be considered paranoid (I prefer neurotic, but whatever) if your whole life is practically a string of Exhibits A, B and C of why said paranoia is COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED? I mean, of course I'm going to miss my flight or lose my passport or have my top fall off in the ocean in front of a pack of impressionable 10-year-old boys. OF COURSE I AM.

And, naturally, I will tell you all about it in a few days. Have a good weekend, everyone!


At 8:26 AM, Blogger Barb said...

I hope you have a wonderful time! Look forward to hearing all about it.

At 10:48 AM, Anonymous Ree said...

Have a wonderfully, marvelous, oink-free time!

At 11:08 AM, Blogger Angela Williams Duea said...

I agree, the oddest things happen to you. I hope they are are good things on your vacay!

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Bina said...

Oh my Lord. All I can say is have camera in hand at all times and possible a voice recorder so you can blog, in detail, about your misadventures when you get back! LOL LOL

I hope you have a wonderful time! Your mom is so funny.

At 12:40 PM, Blogger Cecily R said...

I want to have your mom over for dinner. She and Jon together would be the BEST entertainment EVER.

HAve fun on your vacation. Relax for a few minutes for me, okay? I need all the help I can get in that area lately, even if it IS by proxy.

At 2:42 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Ohhh have a great time in Mexico. I wish I were going. I need one of those vacations :) And try to keep that top on!

At 8:36 PM, Blogger Mandy said...

Enjoy your time!!

At 10:40 PM, Blogger Melek said...

this is great...i KNOW you're going to come back with a ton of awesome stories about attempted kidnappings, being pulled over and having to bribe police, getting stuck in the sand of the beach in your car and getting towed out by an undercover CIA operative. Can't wait to read your return post!! have a blast!

At 12:30 AM, Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

You will have a great time and all the Mexican hombres will ADORE YOU!

At 12:52 PM, Blogger JenKneeBee said...

Haha! I love that your mom would freak out if you were vacationing in the south. Awesome. Hope you have fun!

At 9:29 PM, Blogger Mary Ann said...

Can't wait to read about your vacation!

At 4:23 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Seriously why is it no matter how old we get I feel like I need to ask my parents permission for things? I think I will be 60 still asking advice on things.

Don't go kissing any pigs!

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Vanessa said...

LOL I prefer "Neurotic" too, it just somehow seems more gentle. Have a great vacation.

At 3:06 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Well? How was it????

At 5:23 PM, Blogger flea said...

yes, details please!!!

or have you run away with a sexy mexican hunk?

At 1:03 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Have a fantabulous time in Meheeco!!!! lots of pix!

At 7:00 PM, Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

NO UPDATE STILL!?!?!? You didn't go to Carlos and Charlie's did you, and now you're MIA like Natalie Holloway!?!?!?

At 12:44 AM, Blogger Barrie said...

I'm obviously dropping in too late to say "Have a good time." So, I hope you had a good time and brought back lots of stories to post about!

At 3:06 PM, Blogger Camille said...

Okay, hurry up an post about your trip already! the anticipation is killing me! I hear ya'll had a GREAT time!


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