Things I don't understand
* The guys at the gym who walk around with their arms out, like their muscles are sooo big they can't even put their arms down, even though they're like 150 pounds (MAYBE) dripping wet.
* How every night at 7 pm I feel like I'm ready to go to sleep for the night yet at midnight the only thing that would get me into bed is if you told me George Clooney was in it. I get a second wind at 9 or 10, and it's all over.
* How even very grown-up boys can act like 6-year-olds around a woman.
* Why anyone cares how many followers Ashton Kutcher has on Twitter.
* How no matter how good I manage to look when I walk out the door in the morning, I end up looking like a train wreck by 3 pm.
* How the guys on Dancing with the Stars can move their hips like that. It's like they have spaghetti noodles in there instead of bones! (P.S. A good thing.)
* Why it still practically feels like winter even though it's almost MAY. I DO NOT LIVE IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH! I WANT 70-DEGREE DAYS! WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
* Why I downloaded a Celine Dion song the other day of my own free will. And why I am not nearly as ashamed of that as I should be. (Except when I was playing it a smidgy bit too loudly at a stoplight next to a bunch of teenage boys. They looked at me, and I swear the look on their faces aged me about 30 years in 2.3 seconds. Then I was mildly ashamed. Mildly.)