Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Things I don't understand

* The guys at the gym who walk around with their arms out, like their muscles are sooo big they can't even put their arms down, even though they're like 150 pounds (MAYBE) dripping wet.

* How every night at 7 pm I feel like I'm ready to go to sleep for the night yet at midnight the only thing that would get me into bed is if you told me George Clooney was in it. I get a second wind at 9 or 10, and it's all over.

* How even very grown-up boys can act like 6-year-olds around a woman.

* Why anyone cares how many followers Ashton Kutcher has on Twitter.

* How no matter how good I manage to look when I walk out the door in the morning, I end up looking like a train wreck by 3 pm.

* How the guys on Dancing with the Stars can move their hips like that. It's like they have spaghetti noodles in there instead of bones! (P.S. A good thing.)

* Why it still practically feels like winter even though it's almost MAY. I DO NOT LIVE IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH! I WANT 70-DEGREE DAYS! WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

* Why I downloaded a Celine Dion song the other day of my own free will. And why I am not nearly as ashamed of that as I should be. (Except when I was playing it a smidgy bit too loudly at a stoplight next to a bunch of teenage boys. They looked at me, and I swear the look on their faces aged me about 30 years in 2.3 seconds. Then I was mildly ashamed. Mildly.)



At 12:28 AM, Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

I'm with you on the 7 p.m. and then all of a sudden it's midnight. Right now in fact.

And also with the George Clooney in bed. Ah wait a minute, I would choose Vince instead. He might not have the moves Clooney would have, but I bet I'd laugh more in bed with Vince.


At 8:10 AM, Blogger Bina said...

I love your second one, and the statement about George Clooney!

I don't understand why people run stop signs to pull out in front of you when you are going 60, there is no one behind you, and then they go 40. EFFERS!!!!!!

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Beth said...

you know I'd want Brad in my bed....but why do I think I'd be let down with him? I don't know....

I also HATE people who pull out in front of me when there is no car behind me and then they go SO SLOW!!!

and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why my husband thinks Rosario Dawson is UGLY but thinks KIRSTIN DUNST is cute!!!! What. the. hell.????

At 4:30 PM, Blogger Travis Erwin said...

Because the facial hair and age lines are a mirage. Underneath we all really are 6yo boys.

At 10:43 PM, Blogger Midwest Gent said...

I am right there with you getting a second wind at 10 PM. Frustrating and bewildering all at the same time.

At 11:20 PM, Blogger Legally Fabulous said...

Haha these made me laugh... you're right on the money.

For example - last night. Got home from class around 6. Took the dog out, ate dinner, then passed out for about an hour because I was so exhausted.

Then of course I was up bopping around the house until 3 AM like I had just chugged three redbulls.

So frustrating.

At 12:54 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Oh, you mean how at 6:30 I was bummed I had to leave the house because I was so tired I was yawning yet now it's 11:54 and I'm still going? yeah....

How about the people who can't figure out that it's illegal to not drive with your headlights on when it's pouring down rain?

At 9:59 AM, Blogger Barb said...

I don't know how those dancing boys do it either ~ but I'm just mesmerized by it! Especially cute little Derek ~ Yowza!

At 4:13 PM, Blogger Andie said...

i don't understand people who just drive in the left lane on the freeway going under teh speed limit. It's like they are clueless that the left lane is for passing.

there are many other things...but I'm drawing a blank now.

At 5:56 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Haha, I'm totally the same way about getting a second wind--I'll be up at 2am, watching the rebroadcast of Oprah, thinking, "I'm really going to regret this in the morning"...

And Twitter! I'm over it. Time for the next trend!!!

At 8:49 PM, Blogger Jacki said...

I don't understand why I have insomnia when I don't drink diet coke after 2pm but when I do stop on my way home I crash that night.
I don't understand why my dogs like my husband more when he just yells at them but I'm the one that feeds them and holds them when they are sleepy. What gives?

(I'm over Twitter too!)

At 2:47 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I'm with everyone on the driving frustrations. I also don't understand why we have to slow down to 15 miles under the speed limit when two state troopers are stopped talking to each other in the center median. If you are already going the speed limit, you aren't going to get pulled over! And if you want to take a Sunday drive and explore your local city, please do this on a Sunday - not rush hour!

And of course, I'm passed out on the couch at 8pm, only to be wide awake from 11-2 when I have to get up at 5am! 7+ hours of sleep are great, but only if I can get them all at once!

At 3:45 PM, Blogger Tanya said...

Guess what town Mr. Clooney has been hanging out in?
I haven't seen him yet, but if I do, I'm going all stalkerattzi on him.

At 4:17 PM, Anonymous Courtney said...

I get the same second wind as you do. I'm such a night owl, it doesn't matter how tired I am. At 10, I'm nowhere near ready for bed.

Guys who can dance are SO flipping hot. I watch So You Think You Can Dance and just drool. It's amazing to watch them move. I don't know why guys think that dancing is gay because, dude, girls think it's HOT. Plus, as a male dancer, you totally get to manhandle a bunch of hot girls.

At 11:19 PM, Blogger KATE said...

Oh honey, there are too many things on that list that I agree with! I'm going to have to say tho, you really should be little more than mildly ashamed for the song. I mean really!

At 11:10 AM, Blogger Betty said...

I'm still trying to get over the nest in your car. This is something I have feared for the past few months after a friend from work told me that such things happen. And that the nesting animal(s) can ruin your engine!

Mothballs!!?? Aren't they toxic or something, to people, I mean?

And just so you don't feel so bad, I look like a train wreck by the time I get to work. 3pm sounds impressive to me.

And yeah, the second wind thing. i can relate to that. And yet the alarm still goes off at the crack of dawn, relentlessly.


At 9:03 PM, Blogger JenKneeBee said...

Maybe they walk around with their arms out because they are sweaty? I don't understand it either.


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