Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Yay yay I'm so excited yayyyy

That is basically the dialogue in my head right now. Why? Because I LOVE THE GOLDEN GLOBES SO VERY MUCH. I want to marry them and live happily ever after with golden babies on a golden island. I LOVE the Golden Globes. Let me count the ways:

1. They are TV and movies.
2. There are no filler awards.
3. They're SO MUCH more progressive about good TV shows than the Emmys are.
4. People are allowed to drink, so it's either a partayyyy or a trainwreck waiting to happen. (In other words: win-win!)

I could go on and on. Last year was the press conference/writer's strike nightmare (which I spent in the Las Vegas airport anyway), and the year before was my own personal power outage nightmare. This year, my friends, the Globes are BACK, and so am I. Let the live blog begin!


6:26: Jenna Fischer is a cute girl, but she looks like she's wearing the slipcover from her mom's couch. Floral prints are NEVER a good idea for awards shows, Pam!

6:32: E! just spelled Rumer Willis' name wrong. Ha ha. My friend: "Well, it's a stupid name anyway."

6:52: Ryan Seacrest just did a little scream for the Jonas Brothers. Ohhhhh, boy, it's gonna be a good night.

6:59: Debra Messing looks gorgeous as always. She is, like, TOWERING over poor little Ryan. They are talking about dating advice for women. Hers: Have courage. His: Just say yes. Ha. On both.

7:16: Ummmm ... Giuliana's not wearing her wedding ring AND I just read a blind item about a female cable personality who's having an affair with an executive. Someone's gonna start a rumor and that someone is meeeee ...

7:18: I think maybe David Duchovny forgot he's getting divorced.

7:21: Wow, I mean, WOW. Drew Barrymore's hair! She looks a little bit like she did in Never Been Kissed. The before version.

7:23: Ooh, shaky couple alert! J.Lo and Marc Anthony!

7:32: I just switched over to NBC for a minute. Brooke Burke and Tiki Barber are doing the red carpet. ARE. YOU. FREAKING. KIDDING ME. Seacrest, if you take me back, I promise I'll never leave you again!

7:34: OK, so I switched back to E! and the program guide says Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana DEPANDI. She changed her name to RANCIC when she got married. Oversight or INTENTIONAL CHANGE? The conspiracy theory continues ...

7:39: Holy crap, Marisa Tomei is a pirate.

7:41: Brad and Angelina! Brad and Angelina! I am pretty giddy about the both of them being nominated, I'm not gonna lie. They dissed poor Ryan, though.

8:02: Kate Winslet is just the loveliest woman. (And I am NOT saying that because I am officially 1-for-1 in my picks. Although ...)

8:36: Ricky Gervais, you are a funny, funny man.

8:40: Aww snap, check out Miley Cyrus refusing to look up when Nick Jonas walked out on stage! (We're going to pretend I didn't just say something to give away that I know anything about Miley Cyrus' love life. Just like we're going to pretend that I didn't start singing along with one of her songs in the car the other day.)

9:37: I've been chatting and slacking! But Tracy Morgan, ohhhh, man. Ha ha ha ha. Yes, that is the face of post-racial America.

9:45: Finally! An Angelina shot! All night, I've been like, WHY do they keep cutting to Brad and not Angelina? Is she in the bathroom? Picking something out of her teeth? Holding up a sign that says "Suck it Jen!"? WHAT?

9:58: OK, it's the Spielberg thing, which means we have time for a little best dressed/worst dressed. Looking good: Laura Linney, Tina Fey, Kate Winslet, newly hot Tom Cruise, Rita Wilson's hair (I can't see the rest of her). Looking bad: Renee Zellweger (I mean, beyond horrible), Robert Downey, the too-skinny girl who won for Happy-go-Lucky. Looking like drunk former sorority girls-turned-cougars: Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz.

10:25: Sandra Bullock is cute. And, according to my friend, Colin Farrell is on coke whether he admits it or not.

10:40: I love that Kate Winslet hugged Leonardo DiCaprio before she hugged her husband, WHO ALSO DIRECTED THE MOVIE. Ha! I have to say, I can't really blame the girl.

10:43: She really, really loves Leo. I mean, REALLY. And she has for 13 years. Hmm.

11:03: Mickey Rourke, Slumdog Millionaire ... time for the aftershow on E!


At 6:31 PM, Blogger Patti said...

while i love the awards shows i am conflicted because jack bauer is back tonight....he wins, hands down.

At 6:45 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

That is what DVR is for!

At 6:49 PM, Blogger DeeMarie said...

I love the Golden Globes too!! I'm so glad you're able to watch this year!!!!

At 6:49 PM, Blogger Mandy said...

Enjoy watching, I am flipping between the Red Carpet and the Steelers game

At 7:35 PM, Blogger Beth said...

I am thinking of only you Swishy, as I watch the Red Carpet!!!!

At 8:45 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Ok, the football is over, and I must say I'm quite grateful that the playoffs caused me to miss the Brook Burke / Tiki NIGHTMARE. Oh, Tiki, what happened to you?!!

At 9:24 PM, Blogger Melek said...

just checked out E Online and they barely have any photos up yet! losers.

and yes, today i totally rocked out to Miley Cyrus in the car...i had a whole dance routine and everything!

At 9:27 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Ahhh... what fun comments. Now I need to go look up the flowery dress. Good to know we have you here for the commentary ;)

At 10:05 PM, Blogger Melek said...

Question for ya: if someone blew up the building the GG were being held in, what would happen to Hollywood? Would all the B and C list actors step up into movie roles? or would Hollywood just die altogether?

At 10:17 PM, Blogger Swishy said...


At 10:35 PM, Blogger Just A Girl In GA said...

I am wondering if Mickey Rourke forgot to take a shower before the Golden Globes? Also Drew Barrymore's hair is not good, not good at all. Kate Winslet looks stunning, Penelope Cruz looks great.

Brad and Angelina, they look good.

At 11:47 PM, Blogger JenKneeBee said...

Drew barrymore's hair was out of control. I want someone to take a pic of her and that guy from Slumdog Millionaire b/c they'd make a perfect crazy hair couple.

Worst dresses: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Marisa Tomei, Angelina, Renee Zellweger

Best dresses: Salma Hayek, America Ferrera, Elizabeth Banks, Kate Winslet

At 3:04 AM, Blogger TTQ said...

No Hugh Laurie??? The one celebrity that I actually fell in love with. But only as Dr House, honey doesn't mind though..he's just a mess too! I like my goods damaged and in the scratch and dent bin....

At 8:10 AM, Blogger Beth said...

I love Leo too....he is so stinking charming. I was never really a fan, but when I saw him on Oprah, he charmed the panties right off me!!! YUM!

Kate is a very lucky woman, and I wanna see thier movie really bad.

Renee Zellweger???? W. T. F.???? Good Lord, get a stylist...a GOOD stylist. I think someone does this to her to make fun of her squinty ass.

I thought Kate Winslet looked FABULOUS and Selma? BOOBS!!!!!

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Betty said...

I'm almost afraid to admit that I missed it, but I absolutely MUST find pics of Drew's hair......


I know, DVR.........

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

See... this is why I didn't watch the show. I knew I'd get the best recap ever from Swishy!!

At 4:32 PM, Blogger She said...

You're hilarious!

At 5:28 PM, Blogger Kristabella said...

Um, this is why you need to join Twitter so you could have been having this chat with so many of us last night!

Also, I was so, so disappointed in the Globes this year. Usually award season is like my Super Bowl (even though I love the Sup.) But this year, very meh.

The best part, as with EVERY award show recently, was Ricky Gervais. With a beer!

He needs to host every award show ever.

At 8:58 PM, Blogger michelle said...

i love your recap ... i must admit that i fell asleep around an hour into it ... damn atlantic standard time!

anyway ... i love kate winslet on a normal day, i love her even more after last night ... i want to hang out with her and talk about boys.

drew barrymore's hair annoyed me, but at least she was wearing a bra.

At 9:34 PM, Blogger Elle Charlie said...

Uch, blogger just cut off my comment! Grrr.

Anyway, as I said the first time...

I love Kate Winslet and am so glad she won big time! And I can't blame her for hugging Leo first - he's RIDICULOUS!

Also, what's going down w/JLo and MA?

At 11:34 PM, Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

OMG!!! YOU SOOOO NEED TO GET A JOB ON THE RED CARPET!!! You know it all! You make me wish I watched the award shows.

I am getting too old though and don't watch any TV so a lot of these names I don't even recognize.

Yes, put the big fat L on my forehead.


At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO - "Drew Barrymore's hair! She looks a little bit like she did in Never Been Kissed. The before version" That is hilarious. I heart the globes too. They are the bestest!

At 10:10 PM, Blogger kim said...

I love these posts.

At 9:57 PM, Blogger kim said...

I had to ggole all the hair, botox and fashion -- I don't have time for this, swishy!

OMG That hair! Drew, at first I thought it wasn't so bad -- I'm an 80's girl, I can take in some pretty big hair and still be okay. But then I saw it from another angle -- WTH? Was it on a dare or what?

At 7:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hugh Laurie wasn't wearing his wedding ring either. He also didn't wear it on PCA. Anybody has anything to say about it?


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