Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Miss Crankypants

That would be me. In no particular order, the things that are making me cranky these days:

* I have become a complete loser blog slacker, something I swore I would never do because I hate, hate, HATE when I read blogs and people never post. (I am gonna stop slacking staaaaarting ... now. For real, for real!)

* I have zero routine. Part of this is because everything is still new, part of it is because my work schedule has bounced all over the place and I'm having a hard time keeping up. I HATE not having a schedule. I know that makes me sound anal, and unless you knew me well, you probably would never guess that about me, but oh, my gosh, fewer things make me crazier. I used to get a TON done and now I get NOTHING done.

* I've barely worked out since I moved here and I haven't worked out at all since I moved into my apartment, which makes me all antsy. (Yet I've lost four pounds, which believe me, does not motivate me ONE BIT to start up again. It's probably all muscle and water, but still. Still!)

* I have gotten absolutely no Christmas shopping done. I have barely even thought about it. Christmas? What's Christmas?

* I haven't picked up my mail from the post office in like a week and a half because it's always closed when I go. I'm starting to get mail at my apartment, but not all of it ... just ask Verizon. (The bill is IN THE MAIL! I swear!)

* I have about a zillion things left to unpack and I'm still sleeping on the couch.

* I haven't been to the DMV yet because I hate the DMV and I have no time to go anyway, but it stresses me out to drive around with expired plates. Also, it stresses me out to look at that stupid cracked mirror every time I get in my car.

* I lost my thing to log into work email from home and I can't find it ANYWHERE and I just KNOW they will think I'm a total flake if I tell them I lost it.

* I have wood floors, and there's a big scratch in the living room. I saw it the day I moved in, and I asked the movers about it, and they swore it wasn't them. And you know what, I kind of believed them, because I watched them carry stuff in and everything with edges was covered. So I didn't file a claim with the moving company, but for some reason lately I am SO PARANOID about that stupid scratch. I even had a dream about it last night, that my landlord saw it and flipped out and wouldn't give me back my deposit, even though it's entirely possible it's been there forever and I just didn't notice it when I looked at the place. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHO DREAMS ABOUT THAT STUFF? WHY CAN'T I DREAM ABOUT HOT SEXY HOTTIES INSTEAD? So I spent like a half hour tonight Googling how to remove scratches. Did you know you can fix a scratch by melting a crayon and mixing it with lemon juice and oil? Who knew? I am scared to try it, though, because I am not MacGyver. I might try this instead.

* I have been thinking a lot about life and change and people and choices. It's all complicated stuff that sometimes makes me sad, which is sort of an offshoot of cranky.

* It was very weird going back last week. It was great and fun but I felt a little bit like I had one foot in one life and one foot in the other. I felt like I hadn't moved, like I'd just been on a really long business trip or something. I've been a little off-kilter since. It's a really strange feeling.

Basically, I think I'm just having a hard time feeling settled. I'm off today, so I'll be able to get a lot done (I hope). In the meantime, these things are helping me feel a little less cranky:

* My hair. I can get away with sloppy hair for like a week after I get it cut, which means more sleep for me. BIG yay on that one.

* On the plane, I (finally) finished reading Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris. It's so good, such a perfect book about office life.

* The Bonnie Hunt Show. Please, someone, tell me you have seen her show. She is just the nicest, funniest, most genuine person in the world, and it always makes me a little happy to see even just a couple minutes of her show.

* My DVR. I FINALLY have a DVR and it is merely the BEST THING EVER even though I haven't had time to watch anything on it yet.

* Nice, awesome people like all of you. Thank you for listening, I feel less cranky already. Have a great day, everyone!


At 6:29 AM, Blogger michelle said...

i hate that unsettled feeling, too ... while my big change was just a new job (not a new city and new apartment and all the craziness that brings!), it has taken me 3 months to find a routine and feel like i am finding my place. at the same time, i am still doing a small volunteer project for my old job ... and it makes me feel torn between the past and the present. give yourself a little more time to feel at home ... you'll get there. :)

At 7:35 AM, Blogger Beth said...

swish...we need to talk girlfriend. I MISS YOU!!!! you MUST blog more often!!!! I NEED My Swishy!!!!

we need to talk about Celeb babies!


At 10:09 AM, Blogger Mandy said...

Feeling unsettled is normal after you move and this is a really busy time of year. You will find your stride soon.

At 11:52 AM, Blogger Travis Erwin said...

My blogging goes in cycles so i understand when a blogger is not posting as often for a while. I'm sure you'll get your groove back soon.

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Monnik said...

I always lose my little fob thingie for work email too. It's come down to me paying my kids $10 to find it. I think they secretly lose it for me now, though.

Hope that you're uncranky soon. Take a few deep breaths. Things will calm down. I promise.

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Monnik said...

oh! And I've been a total blog slacker too, so you're in good company.

At 12:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I found your blog recently through DeeMarie. I just have to say, I too LOVE the Bonnie Hunt show. My work schedule is a little crazy, so I'm home to watch it on some mornings. She cracks me up! Did you see the sweater she had on today? HILARIOUS! That's all, just wanted to share!

At 1:25 PM, Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Go to the DMV if only for some fun blog stories!

I need your address my friend! And you will feel better with today and tomorrow off and then you will be all moved in and that will make you feel settled! xo

At 6:43 PM, Blogger Elle Charlie said...

Sorry you are cranky - getting settled takes time! It's hard though - as a person who moved a lot I can't underscore that point enough - it's hard to move. It's stressful and sad and anxiety-provoking and it's perfectly normal for you not to feel like yourself when you have so much going on (and it IS a big deal, it IS a lot - you are not whiny!).

At 8:12 PM, Blogger Vanessa said...

You'll get settled in and it will be easier once you find routine. I know exactly what you mean when you say you have to have a routine. Structured time lets you find holes in the schedule to do more things. The DVR? Only the best invention evah! Second to the internet of course.

At 9:10 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

I depend on my DVR's yes two and am thinking that the other two bedroom nobody ever goes into need them too. That's just crazy 4 dvr's.

I'm cranky too, too much to do on the mom being sick thing. Now I have two households (6 animals total and bills for both) to keep going, plus all her heart surgeries distracting me. Some times pain pills don't take her to her happy place. *sad for her*

At 9:11 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Ree said...


At 1:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So glad your back, missed you. It is hard to feel settled and in a routine when everything is still so new. Don't be so hard on yourself, you will get into your own grove. Just take it one day at a time. I promise it will all fall into place, probably when you least expect it.

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Kristabella said...

I hear you on routine. I am a creature of habit and I need routine to feel normal. It's why my life went to shit when I was unemployed and I gained like 10 pounds and slept all the time and had no energy.

Also, I hope you find the work FOB. Those things cost a shit-ton of money to replace. And they make you pay for it.

Hang in there. It will get easier. You made a HUGE change and it isn't going to feel normal overnight!

At 11:39 AM, Blogger Mary Ann said...

Maybe it was just too soon to go back. I hope you find a good hairdresser where you are now.

Plus, the holidays are stressful, too. At least for me.

Hang in there!

At 9:49 PM, Anonymous courtney said...

I l love the Bonnie Hunt show. It's a great one. I'm sure that the scratch on the floor was there before. SURE.

At 11:35 PM, Anonymous Brandi said...

I've been in my place for months and I still don't have a schedule or feel settled! I think its harder because I travel way too much for work. Have happy holidays and take some time to get stuff out of the boxes - it's like a presence for yourself!

At 10:42 AM, Blogger Bina said...

I bet if you got on the ball, unpacked, found a place to work out, you would feel more like you were "settled" or "home". It's hard to feel like you are at home when stuff is still in boxes and you can't even sleep in your bed.

But I bet you know that though, right? STOP procrastinating!

At 9:32 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Ahhh so I'm way late to the party. It's been a long ugly rough week, but I'm finally catching up. ANYWAY. Please tell me you know about the Starbucks Gold Card -- if not, go see Wednesday's post.

And I so get the schedule to get things done. I've been off schedule all month and I H.A.T.E. it. I need Jan 2 to come so I can get back on schedule. I really, really do. But yay to San Antonion visiting next week!

At 3:32 AM, Anonymous dimples said...

oh swisher sweets! i miss your laugh!!

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Tanya said...

I haven't blogged in much longer than you haven't blogged. I've been busy working overtime then getting a puppy.

Things will settle down and new city will be like home.

At 6:38 PM, Blogger Scribe LA said...

Have a great day Swishy! And no, I'm not nearly settled yet. Lots of stuff up in the air.... We'll see how it all comes about. Happy Holidays!

At 11:36 AM, Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

shopping....I was out shopping a bit yesterday, there were BARE shelves at a few of the store. It was madness, I assure you.

At 5:12 PM, Blogger Melek said...

im with you Swishy....i HAVE to have a routine or I'm all out of sorts.

i think i know what the real problem is here....you're not getting your mail, so you haven't received the latest People magazine. i think you just need a good dose of celebrity gossip to get back into the groove.

At 5:39 PM, Blogger Nut Nut said...

I tend to think if you're not blogging, then other things are going on, and that can't ever be that bad? I too read that book but it didn't live up to my expectations. I was so looking forward to that perfect office culture book, but it didn't do it. I thought the part about the manager's life was more interesting than anything else for some reason.

I hate not have a schedule too. I think most people feel that way, and if they say they don't, then they need what is considered their schedule messed up so they can reconsider their thoughts. Or just have a kid. Kids ruin schedules every day. : )

At 7:46 PM, Blogger kim said...

I am posting comments in my mind because this is the third blog I've been to where I swear I already commented, but nothing.

I posted something just for you on my blog.

At 9:06 PM, Blogger Barrie said...

I have a very strong feeling that 2009 will be a great year for you. You just need to get done with this weird transition stage.


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