Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Quick updates

OK, it's getting late and my first day of work is mere hours away, but I owe you a couple quick updates ...

The CIA agent. Here are the pictures. Clandestine register shot No. 1:

And No. 2:

And the super-secret rear view!

OK, the end of the story. No, I did not go up to him and tell him I've been blogging to the entire Internet about his secret identity, and don't ask me why not, because none of you would have done it either and you KNOW it! (OK, except for Manic. Ha.) Here's what happened: He looks at me about a thousand times. He packs up his computer, but he doesn't leave--he sits there for a while. And then he finally gets up and slowly walks across the coffee shop toward the exit ... but wait! He doesn't leave; instead, he goes into the bathroom. A couple minutes later, he walks out, stops and looks over at me. He smiles, and I sort of smile back. He takes a step toward me, and then he smiles again before turning around and walking out the door, out of the coffee shop, out of Miss Swishy's life forever.

I know I joke all the time about my little CIA agent, but it was honestly kind of a poignant moment. I hope he really is a secret agent, or at least that he secretly reads my blog and gets a little bit of a kick out of it.


Friday was moving day. I spent a big chunk of the day on my bathroom floor. At first it was to stay out of the way (the bathroom was the one off-limits room), and then it was because every time I walked out, I saw less home and more empty, impersonal apartment and it all started to get a little overwhelming.

I tried really hard to hold it together (I blow dried my hair! I had like six different kinds of drinks in the fridge! I went out at freaking 7 a.m. on 2 1/2 hours of sleep and got bagels for everyone!) but there were a million little things left to do and I was completely overtired and emotional and as the day went on, I was just like, PUT MY STUFF DOWN AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. It was not my favorite day, and thank goodness I have wonderful people in my life who can put up with me when I am way, way less than perfect, that's all I can say.


I wrote my name on my bedroom wall before I left. I always do that before I leave a place, write my name somewhere tiny where no one but me knows it's there. I've done it since I was eight. I guess it's my way of making sure I leave a mark.


Two completely random interactions with strangers:

I'm taking some of the last stuff out to my friend's car when an older guy across the parking lot gets my attention. "I know we've never met," he says, "but I'm sorry to see you go."

I'm on the plane, looking like a complete wreck. I'm tired and I've been crying all morning and all I want to do is go to sleep. I try sitting back, I try leaning on my hand. I'm putting my head on my knees when the guy sitting next to me, a kid with tattoos and longish hair and several piercings, taps me on the shoulder. Without a word, he hands me his pillow. He had been leaning on it while he wrote music in a little notebook. "Are you sure?" I ask, and he nods. I take it. It smells like peppermint and I'm able to fall right to sleep. It was one of the nicest things a stranger has ever done for me.


I've had one meltdown so far and, not surprisingly, it has to do with TV and my inability to watch it. So, you know, even though I'm in a new place, I am pretty much the same old Swishy. I'll tell you about it later, but now I have to try to go to sleep so I don't get fired on my first day. Have a good Monday, everyone!


At 1:35 AM, Blogger House of Jules said...

Oh Swishy-girl! Moving is SO uber stressful that I'm impressed you have handled it all so well. Sheesh. AND starting work right away, whew. You are a supastar! Loved the ending of your story w/ CIA man, though maybe if he is a spy, he'll come walking into your NEW favorite coffee shop. I know things seem totally overwhelming, but what you wrote about the guy on the plane w/ the peppermint pillow? Sounds like your mojo is off & running in the right direction. So happy for you.
House of Jules

At 2:29 AM, Anonymous kristabella said...

You seriously should have said something to the CIA Agent before he left. He was totally working up the nerve to say something, maybe ask you out for coffee (HA!) and he was too chicken! I mean, you aren't strangers. You saw him there all the time. I mean sometimes you have to do things in life JUST to write about them. Why do you think I talk to cab drivers?

Good luck on your first day!

At 6:27 AM, Blogger michelle said...

good luck on your first day ... i hope it is great and makes the move just a little less sad. i know that this will be an amazing new adventure for you ... :).

At 7:33 AM, Blogger Beth said...

awww Swish...it'll be ok hon. I know moving is so hard, but you are sucha fantastic person....people will be falling all over themselves to be your friend!!

and I love the idea of writing your name on your bedroom wall...love that. that is so YOU!!!

now...time to get out there and find a new coddee house and a new CIA agent to take secret pictures of!

At 8:52 AM, Blogger Mandy said...

I cant imagine moving like that. good luck on your first day!

At 9:33 AM, Blogger aahcoffee said...

I've always written my name on the wall too. Usually in the closet.

At 9:52 AM, Blogger Michelle said...

Good luck! Can't wait to hear how the first day at the new job went. And he was soooo trying to come hit on you. And he blew it. :)

And a peppermint pillow? I can't decide if that's wrong or not. Why did they have to make it peppermint? Was it that bad before?

At 11:19 AM, Blogger Tanya said...

I bet once you've settled in and find a place to live, things will get better. You're lucky you get to have such a fun adventure and a fresh start!

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Andie said...

awww I hope you're doing ok today! HUGS!

At 1:34 PM, Blogger Melek said...

good luck on your first day. i'm sure you'll wow them with your skill and woo them with your charm. And don't worry about CIA man...there are thousands of CIA (or FBI, or Mafia or whateve) men roaming around. you'll have another one to blog about soon, i'm sure of it.

At 1:58 PM, Blogger The Gang's All Here! said...

Okay, first - I so get what you mean about moving. On the day we left our little hometown of 16 years, I felt like I was watching from up on a gable of the roof, detached and distant. But then I cried almost all the way to settlement and almost all the 2 hour drive to my in-laws where I would live, homeless with 4 kids for 16 days. I get it.

Second, I must admit, I'm hating that the super spy and you didn't have MORE of a moment. It would have totally been a poetic and perfect moment for us readers. Sheesh, I was hoping to live a little vicariously, I admit sheepishly.

Third, the pillow guy totally would have made me bawl. I got a little teary when I read it.

Finally. Hope your first day is great. Can't wait to read all about your new adventures - maybe another opportunity for vicarious living is coming my way?! :)

Li'l Empress is fitting in well - has made love slaves (in the healthy family sense!) out of her four sibs. 3:10 and the arrival of yellow school bus are magic times for the little precious. Been a good transition. Thanks for following along.

At 2:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck on your first day!

At 3:08 PM, Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Ah, my swishy. This post makes me feel good knowing that you ARE OK!

I only called you a bazillion times!! Did you NOT get my calls!?!?

Did you not get my SECRET AGENT MAN song voicemail??

Happy First Day of work! MY BBFF!

I know where you lii...vvve now! I know where you lii....vvee now! And no one else does and no one else does!

And your secret's safe with mee!

At 3:09 PM, Blogger MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Oh, and PS..




At 10:06 PM, Blogger Mary Ann said...

Ok, about the CIA agent. He's not right for you, else he'd have made his move. You deserve someone with lots of courage because you have tons of it. Just my opinion.

Reading about how you felt as they were packing up your stuff reminded me of chapters that have closed in my life. I know how you felt and am glad the stranger was there to hand you a pillow.

You should be so proud of yourself today. You did it!

At 10:45 PM, Anonymous courtney said...

Awwww, moving so far has to be hard. I'm sure that you'll end up with lots of great friends and stories from your new home.

At 11:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing those photos, totally CIA.

Moving is so hard, (((HUGS))), I wish there was a way to make it easier. I love how you left on your bedroom wall....very cool. A little part of you is still there.

The pillow story, is so sweet. The kindness of strangers always makes me smile.

I hope your first day at work goes well. Try to be easy on yourself, moving, settling in and starting a new job are HUGE life stressors. You need time, lots of time, to get adjusted. Sleep is always good too!

Take it day by day and focus on all the people in your life who love you and are with you.


At 12:37 AM, Blogger Cecily R said...

You know how famously I deal with change and how stressful I think moving is...I so hope you are doing better and that your first day was a good one.

I owe you an e-mail.

At 9:48 AM, Blogger Irene said...

You're safe, that's the main thing and well and healthy if not a little short of sleep and overwhelmed. I can't wait to hear the rest, You are going to be fine, because you are a tough broad and that's a compliment.

At 11:14 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

oh sweetie. Moving sucks. Sounds like you did marvelously well if you only had one break down.

I can't wait to hear how the new job is going.

And what a sweet thing for the guy next to you on the plane to do. :)

At 11:20 AM, Blogger Angela Williams Duea said...

Oh Swishy, sorry that the transition to your new life has been so stressful.

Poor CIA guy, he was getting up the courage to ask you out...never knowing this was the last time he'd ever see you. Sigh.

At 1:14 PM, Blogger Betty said...

You did it! You pulled off the move! And I bet that if you hadn't been on the verge of moving across the country, you would have spoken to Spy Man!

There'll be a CIA agent in your new city, too.....


At 2:59 PM, Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

I write my name whenever I leave too! We are twwwiiinss.
I am proud of you.

At 7:14 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Aw, I was hoping to check in for a first day report! But hopefully you had a relatively stress-free start in your new place...

And I second Manic's thought: your real life has begun!! :)

At 7:40 PM, Blogger Jacki said...

I've been thinking about you so I'm very glad to hear you made it ok. I can't wait for the next set of adventures awaiting you in a new place.
(All the new writing material, working in a new place, how fabulous!!!)

At 12:29 AM, Anonymous dimples said...

swisher sweets, i agree with kristabella, not only do we have a lerrrve for rum that tastes like whiskey, but you totally shoulda talked to cia so you coulda had a fun story to tell about. in any case, i'm pretty sure you're doing well at your new job, 'cause how else would you have it, right? anyways, figured i'd let you know that you're on my mind. good luck!

At 9:01 AM, Blogger Elle Charlie said...

Wow, lady, you have A LOT going on right now! Way to handle it all! Even if you weren't "perfect", just getting through it counts as excellent :)

I'm so eager to hear more about your new life! And work! I don't know much about this CIA agent, but what a cute love story! Maybe you'll meet him again someday... you never know, right?

At 9:36 PM, Blogger flea said...

aww swishy I got teary after reading about tattoo guy giving you his pillow! there are really truly some nice people in the world!

love the pics of CIA man perhaps your paths will cross again? who knows??

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Bina said...

Ahhh, the kid giving you his pillow did it, I got tears in my eyes. You are so brave and strong for going through all this. I'm happy and sad for you at the same time, but more happy. It's a new adventure! And how freaking cute is that, you write your name on the wall! I have got to remember that. It is so cool.

I hope your first day went well, and WHEN am I'm gonna find out what kind of freaking car you bought??? GEEZ!


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