Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The final mission

OK. I've been working my little ass off all week to get stuff done for one reason: I am moving across the country in three days. Actually, make that two reasons: I'm moving across the country, and I HAD to carve out a couple hours to go to my coffee shop one last time. I'll be with the movers all day Friday and I'm sure I'll be running around like a crazy person doing last-minute stuff tomorrow, which left today. Today has been a hard-ish day. Last night, a bunch of old coworkers threw a happy hour for me (which stretched into almost five hours!) and way more people came than I expected and it was really sweet and fun but also made me sad, and then I had a dream about someone I really love but am not around anymore, and that made me sad, and then I was sorting through the hard stuff today, the sentimental stuff, and THAT made me sad. So it's been a little bit of a sad day.

All day I kept telling myself one thing to make myself plow through my sort of sad, sort of hard day: YOU HAVE TO GO TO YOUR COFFEE SHOP THIS AFTERNOON. You know how much I love my coffee shop. It is the No. 1 non-living thing I am going to miss most about this place (second, the college radio station, which I have been listening to nonstop). So I plowed through and went out into the traffic and the pouring rain to go hang at my happy place one last time.

I finally just walked in and ... YOU WILL DIE. OK, no, you won't, but I almost did. The CIA agent is here! He hasn't been here in MONTHS! Is that not downright POETIC? My last time at the coffee shop! He totally recognized me and did a little half-smile at me when I went up to the register. And then he remembered that, HELLO! He's a top secret spy, he's not supposed to smile! Have you ever seen Jack Bauer smile? No, you have not. So he caught himself mid-half-smile and put his "intense face" on again.

(I love that I'm talking like it's this amazing coincidence we're both here at the same time on my last day. Of COURSE it's not a coincidence. He's probably been tracking me for months as part of an investigation into girls who blow the covers of secret agents on their blogs.)

You know I took some pictures. I am so damn smooth sometimes, I kill myself. I was standing at the register talking to the girl and she's all, it's so sad you're leaving, and I'm like, oh, you're telling me, I've been a wreck all day, and while we're doing that I take out my camera, turn off my flash and snap two pictures of him like it was nothing. YEAH! The pictures totally suck, but whatever, they are still pictures and I will totally post them as soon as I get home.

In the meantime, I have caught him looking at me like three times. He must know it's his last chance to ask me to go on a SUPER-SECRET SPY MISSION with him! Either that, or he's like, why in the hell does that girl with ratty unwashed hair keep turning around and looking at me. Either/or. I will keep you posted.


Update: He just got up to get more coffee! I took a picture of his ass! He did a FULL smile on his way back! HELLO, IMPORTANT GOVERNMENT MISSION, HERE I COME!

Update 2: He just looked at me again. IM with Manic Mom: "SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM HE IS SECRET AGENT MAN!!!!!!!! GO UP TO HIM AND SAY, 'IF YOU TELL ME NOT TO MOVE, I SO WON'T!' "


Update 4: I do not do either of those things because a) I am a world-class wimp and b) I am not really sure how to explain to someone that I've been blogging about his very secret career to the World Wide Web for the past year.

He is on the phone right now and he keeps looking at me. Option A: "Seriously, there's messy chic and then there's THAT. When did she last wash her hair, 1997?" (Yesterday! Yesterday is not THAT long ago!) Option B: "We are SO BUSTED! She's onto me! ABORT! ABORT!"

At this point, it's a toss-up. If a little more time goes by and you don't hear from me, you can assume that I've been tossed into the back of his black Lincoln Town Car for questioning.


At 6:40 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

AND I JUST CALLED SWISHY AND SHE'S STILL THERE AND I TOLD HER TO GIVE HIM THE PHONE AND JUST WALK AWAY AND I WAS GOING TO BUST THE MISSION! But she chickened out and wouldn't hand him the phone but she said he took off his headphones to listen to her charming laugh while she was talking to me. And guess what? I'm going to call her back right now and MAKE HER TALK TO HIM! I want her to have a crazy intense passionate MISSION night with him before she leaves on her NEXT MISSION!


At 6:49 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...


At 7:11 PM, Blogger House of Jules said...

I bet he was on the phone with his friends saying that the super secret spy chick he's been blogging about showed up at the coffee shop on his last day before moving across the country. Cut to one week from now, when you move into your new place, and he's your neighbor. ;)
House of Jules

At 7:16 PM, Blogger Nut Nut said...

Hello? It's only Wednesday! No soap opera cliffhangers on Wednesday! We need pics! We need more story!

At 8:22 PM, Blogger The Gang's All Here! said...

Oh come on! What do you have to lose? You're moving and you don't even have to tell him your name or ask him his. But you're gonna regret it if you don't do SOMETHING. He could be THE ONE. He could be famous. He could be your new BFF. But you'll never know if you don't do SOMETHING. Heck, he could have a deep sexy Josh Turner voice that melts you like butter. Come ONNNNNNNNN!

At 10:57 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Oh I SO need to hear what happened. C'mon Swish, this is your last chance. You'll never see him again after this. Gotta have fun with this! I love that he was there though -- can't wait to see the pics.

At 11:50 PM, Blogger Mandy said...

The rest of the story???

At 11:50 PM, Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

cant wait to hear the end.

At 12:13 AM, Blogger shopgirl said...

Swishy!! What do you have to lose?? Go for it girlie!!!!! THAT would make the worlds greatest blog EVER?? How did we meet? well, just go to www.blogger.swishymeetsherman.com!!

At 9:10 AM, Blogger Betty said...

This is all very exciting- preparing to move cross country AND running into the spy on your last coffee shop visit- TOO MUCH!

I know if I were in your shoes, which I kinda wish I were, I'd now be torn about moving. Why do things have to heat up with spy man now, 3 days before you leave??!! (2 days now)

Well, I for one can't wait to see those photos...


At 9:32 AM, Blogger DeeMarie said...

You keep leaving us hanging, Swish!! What happened? Are you in the back of his trunk? Or are you in the passenger seat of his car??? We need to know!!!!

At 9:44 AM, Blogger kk said...

were you abducted?

jeesh, seems you will do ANYTHING to get out of packing!

At 12:05 PM, Anonymous angel said...

i have been lurking for awhile, laughing and enjoying things from the background...but that comment from house of jules is too funny for me to ignore...here's hoping that secret agent man shows up in your new city!

good luck, swish!

At 12:17 PM, Blogger Beth said...


At 12:19 PM, Blogger Irene said...

I hope he swept you off your feet and told you not to move because he is just crazy about you and can't hide his love for you any longer. Right there in the coffee shop.

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Melek said...

abort! abort! hahahaha...love it! i'm so happy he was there on your last visit to the coffee shop.

i think he's smiling bc he totally digs you. and i'm betting you finally found some balls and went to talk to him. then, you both fell madly in love with each other. and that's why you didn't finish your blog...you're too busy making out at the coffee shop. :)

At 1:11 PM, Anonymous kristabella said...

I love that he was there on the last day!

And I'm guessing he smiles and stares because you're ridiculously good looking. DUH!

Good luck with the move on Friday!

At 2:33 PM, Blogger dragonfly said...

I love Jules' scenario and I love that he was there on the last day you went to the coffee shop. Surely, him being a super secret spy, he was calling one of his super secret spy buddies in the town you're moving to... so you'll have familiar company at your next coffee shop. :)

At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so hoping that you went for it and dying to know what happened

At 4:33 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...


What happened?? We need details!

At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Ree said...

Oh Swishy!!! I'm so sad that you're moving, and that you didn't talk to Secret Agent Man.

Although I really like Jule's scenario!

At 9:52 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

I told Swish she needs to leave the girl who works there a note to hand to him the next time he goes to the coffee shop with her blog address on it AND THAT IS ALL! So he can go to her blog and discover his mystery woman!!!

But now I am afraid he has taken her away from all of us and delivered her to another part of the country where we will never hear from our dear Swishy ever ever again!!!

Could this be true!?!? Could this be the final episode of SWISHY GIRL!?!?!?

Tune in folks!! What a bunch of blog drama this has turned into!


At 2:58 AM, Blogger Doodles said...

I wish I had a secret operative in my coffee house... grr... just pumpkin spice lattes... ok, I'll take it :)

At 9:48 AM, Blogger cubmommy said...

Good Luck today Swishy!! I hope the move goes smoothly for you. Can not wait to hear about your moving adventures and about your new digs.

You so should have talked to Spy man!!!

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Bina said...

You are SO freaking funny!

I'm glad you got to see Manic and spend time with all your friends. And I hope today (Friday) doesn't stress you out TOO much!

You should only be worried about the SA man if he shows up at a coffee shop near your new residence! AHHHH!!!!!

At 8:51 PM, Blogger kim said...

Too funny!

Safe trip to your new place swishy. Hope your new coffee shop is just as full of strangeness -- I know we'll get full detail with pics.

At 11:14 AM, Anonymous kristi said...

You so should have talked to him. What if it was your last chance to talk to the man you were supposed to fall madly in love with and marry one day? I can't believe you didn't talk to him. It's not too late to take Manic's advice. Have the coffee shop girl give him your blog address.

At 4:26 PM, Blogger Andie said...

Swish, you sooooo should have talked to him! He may have been checking you out!


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