Coming up for air
Heyyyy. This week has been the longest blur EVER. But I am alive and I am in one piece and I haven't been fired and I haven't been branded the town's biggest social outcast (yet). So that is good.
A few of the week's highlights and lowlights and WTF-lights before I do a faceplant into my pillows:
* So I'm in temporary housing, right? It's different from the last time I was in temp housing. That was like a real apartment in an apartment complex, with lots of dishes and a washer and dryer and a VCR. This is pretty much a hotel, which is OK, except I walked in, all ready to watch the tapes I'd loaded up with shows to keep me company my first few days, and there was NO VCR. You KNOW I walked myself right out the door and to the closest Target to buy one. (Except that was a little bit of a disaster because of the kind of TV I have in my room, plus they do something with the cables so you can't disconnect stuff, I guess so you don't steal anything, and blah blah blah I'm not going into the rest of it other than to say there's a VCR/DVD combo sitting on my chair waiting to be returned to Best Buy. And thank goodness it is 2008 and I can watch TV shows online.) Also, the channel down and mute buttons on my remote don't work AND I don't have Bravo, VH1, MTV and basically every other channel worth watching. I think it is all a psychological tactic to make me want to move out faster and into my own place. IT IS TOTALLY WORKING!
* Best part of the hours upon hours of mind-numbing orientation: sexual harassment training. I am so TOTALLY 12 years old. I can never keep a straight face during those things. They gave us like four scenarios and we had to say whether they were sexual harassment or not, and then the lady gave us her porn talk. ("You might leave that day thinking you're OK, but I WILL FIND OUT and WE WILL HAVE A TALK. It doesn't embarrass me to have those talks AT ALL, but trust me, it will COMPLETELY embarrass you." Ha ha ha.)
* Tuesday was the worst day. It was horrible and long and freezing cold and I worked late and it was just a big crappy crap sandwich kind of day. So on the way home from work I stopped and got an ice cream sundae for dinner, got in the tub, ate my sundae, had a good cry and put myself in bed at 8:30. If you think that sounds pathetic, believe me, it was about a thousand times more pathetic than it sounds.
* Wednesday was the best day. I work with the nicest boy who ever lived. He was my person that day and he was SO sweet to me. (I know what you're going to say, and noooo, no, no.) Anyway, it was exactly what I needed, a little break from all the craziness, and that night I went out with a bunch of the guys I work with. I thought it was really nice of them to ask me and the nice boy even waited for me so he could drive in front of me so I wouldn't get lost on the way home.
* Thursday afternoon at work:
Co-worker One: Hey, Swish, guess what ... Co-worker Two has a friend who's a pirate.
Me: A friend who's a WHAT?
Co-worker Two: He's a PRIVATEER.
One: Right. A pirate.
Two: A PRIVATEER. (Pause.) I don't even know why I told you guys that.
Me: You seriously have a friend who's a pirate? Like, for real? He goes around on a ship and whatever?
One: A privateer, yeah.
Me: That is the most bizarre thing I have ever heard. Does he have a parrot?
Me: A parakeet?
Two: No. He had a dog, but it died.
One: Of scurvy?
This goes on for maybe 10 minutes.
* I went around and looked at apartments today. I don't really have anything to say about that yet other than it happened.
* Also, I did some laundry and no one stole my underwear. Yay! I had a washer/dryer in my old place but in the place before that I had to use a laundry room and my underwear ALWAYS got stolen. I'm all about the little victories these days.
I'll be a little more back to normal next week, I think (hope). Have a good weekend, everyone!