Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

My very guiltiest guilty pleasure

(Unrelated side note: I really, really, I mean REALLY want to write about politics, especially the role of women--Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, Bristol Palin, Hillary Clinton--in the election, but that requires a little more thought and editing than I am capable of coming up with at this hour, so maybe later. Or maybe no one cares. But you should care! I am fascinated, absolutely fascinated I tell you, by this hot mess of an election. I LOVE AMERICA! Even if I hate sexism! But for now, another thing I love ...)

I don't read Nicholas Sparks books, I don't watch Jane Austen movies, I don't listen to Journey and, oh, yeah, I've never done online dating a day in my life. But I LOVE eHarmony commercials. If I'm in the kitchen pouring a bowl of cereal and I hear an eHarmony commercial, I will drop that carton of milk right on the floor and rush into the living room to watch. If I'm in the bathroom cleaning the toilet and I hear an eHarmony commercial, you better believe that toilet brush will be bobbing in the water for the next 29 seconds. EVERY TIME. Considering the number of hours Bravo is playing in my house, and the apparently very lucrative deal eHarmony has with Bravo, that all means one thing: a hell of a lot of eHarmony commercials, a nasty toilet brush and a lot of spilled milk.

My favorite couple is Lee and Anne Marie. I'm sure you know them, they like to bowl and clap and twirl together down nondescript city streets. I hope Lee and Anne Marie never break up. I'm totally serious. I love them. I hope they have cute little kids and a cute little life and invite me to their golden anniversary party.

I was looking for the video to embed here, and I realized two very curious things: eHarmony does not let people embed its videos, and it does not let people comment on its videos. Doesn't eHarmony have any faith in its message of love and compatibility? Is it worried that people who don't believe in bowling and clapping and twirling will spew their cynicism all over that message of love and compatibility? I thought love triumphed over all, eHarmony!

And then I glanced over at the "related videos" and I saw one more curious thing: a video alleging that eHarmony includes subliminal messages in its commercials. Subliminal messages like: "I have to have sex."

Subliminal messages?!?! In my beloved eHarmony commercials? COULD THAT BE THE REAL REASON I LOVE THEM?

Hmm. I better go watch again, just to see.

26 Comments:

At 4:27 AM, Blogger House of Jules said...

I love those commercials too, even if they make me a teensy bit sick sometimes from all that love! Did you ever see the spoof of e-Harmony commercials that Saturday Night Live did, called "me-Harmony"? It's one of my favorite SNL skits of ALL TIME. Click here to watch it.
Jules
House of Jules

PS- Your last post reminded me that I never sent your prize to you! SORRY! I suck. I'll get on that this weekend, for sure. (No, really. I mean it! FOR REALSIES!)

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger DeeMarie said...

I used to love them... but after 2 years as a member, and still being single, I've realized they aren't right for everyone. Some of the "matches" I got were so far from anything in my profile (literally we were matched because we both like going out to dinner) that I couldn't believe they truly used all "29 Dimensions of Compatibility". And, one of the guys in the commercial was once on Charmed, so I don't believe they are real couples. (Though my sister JUST got engaged to a guy she met off the site, so it does work sometimes, just not for me.) Sorry for all my cynicism.

 
At 10:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

which guy was from Charmed?!

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

I want to see a freeze frame of the subliminal messages. That would be cool.

 
At 11:01 AM, Blogger Bina said...

Ah Ha Ha Ha! You are just WAY to funny and cute. And I love those commercials as well. But I don't remember that couple specifically, but you certainly described them well enough!

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

One of the guys was from Charmed?!?! Subliminal messages AND actors??? Goodbye, sweet, sweet innocence.

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger Beth said...

I love them too!..and I always want to go and sign up to find "my match"...but since i'm married, I didn't think that would be a very good idea....

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger Melek said...

OMG, Jules, that video is hysterical. how did i miss that one?

i met JD on eharmony 3+ years ago. and when we compared profiles, they were almost identical. what's funny is that he tried to get me to go out with him on Yahoo singles, but i rejected him...then on eHarmony, we got matched and went out. and yes, we're one of those bowling, twirly couples. i think WE should be in a commercial!

 
At 3:04 PM, Blogger KATE said...

You are so damn funny! Those commercials crack me up & I'm proud/embarassed to say that I KNEW who you were talking about! ha ha

I also loved that you called the policital action a hot mess! You're the BEST!

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger Elle Charlie said...

Oh, they ARE cute!

My ex-stepmom does eHarmony and has had a lot of luck. She's had 3 long term relationships.

I always say if I'm ever single again I would TOTALLY do online dating. I'm actually a bit sad I missed out on it. It became really mainstream right about when I met Hubs.

I love those commercials where the family doesn't want the rollover minutes because they're not new minutes... AT&T Family Talk I think. The milky minutes one is my favorite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgFw7o5hQtc

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

The minute you said "Lee and AnnMarie" I knew exactly which couple you were talking about. They are my favorite e-harmony couple too. I'm soo lame!

 
At 8:06 PM, Blogger flea said...

I love lee and anne marie too!! like you would think that I hate them by now but every time, EVERY time I listen to there story like i've never heard it before...so weird

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

I've never thought about it before, but I too like eHarmony commercials better than cleaning the toilet :)

(And you should totally blog about the women/politics stuff...I feel like our whole country is being filmed for some reality tv show, it's so bizarre...)

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger Candy said...

Subliminal messages?!?!

heh?

huh?!?!

what.

hold on.

lemme' see that again....

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Ummm I'm going with no, there's no messages. Unless we start to see a huge baby boom coming down the road.

But yup, I'm all into those commercials, too. Every time I see one I tell my husband that I want to sign up for eHarmony! He doesn't.

 
At 3:25 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

How much do I LOVE that you guys know who I'm talking about???

And I totally love that milky minutes commercial! You know what other one I like ... the Overstock.com one with Stormy Simon. She has the calmest voice I have ever heard and I'm always like, if there were some great national disaster, I would want Stormy Simon to talk us through it. I know, I am strange.

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger Kristen DeDeyn Kirk said...

They're my favorite couple, too -- so happy and real. I just saw them about 15 minutes ago while watching a DVR'd Million Dollar Listing! I did read a while back that there's been a baby boom over the last year or so, but they blamed it on soldiers going off to Iraq. Maybe another study has to be done looking for an eHarmony commercial link?

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger DeeMarie said...

In response to Anon- I think it was Lee (the one who's mom encouraged him to join?). If you want me to show you my Charmed-awareness (sickness is probably a better term), he played one of the 3 guys who were turned into animals by Phoebe's college study group friends on a Valentine's episode. This was prior to the Prue departure. I believe he became the snake. So now I'm a cynic, and a little obssessed-sounding, huh?

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger michelle said...

lee and ann-marie have convinced my mother that i should join e-harmony.

i started my profile once ... but there were too many questions. apparently my laziness outweighs my lonliness. ;)

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

I think that with eharmony, people expect too much and they just assume they MUST fall in love and get married. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE for them to do a follow-up study of the last 5-10 years to see how many of their matched marriages really make it! I bet you not many. There's so much pressure to get to know this virtual stranger in a short amount of time, to fall in love with them and to commit! And that one spoof was funny -- the two people who got married because the computer told them to do so!

 
At 12:07 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

And guys, in the subliminal message if you watched it, you can hear the guy in the background clearly say, HAVE SEX.

Please tell me you all heard it? I did. At least I think I did. I'm kinda horny right now though.

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Melek said...

ok, true eharmony story:

my friend M was having dating trouble (don't we all), so after meeting JD on eharmony, i suggested she try it. she did. her 5th match was a guy she'd been in love with forever, but he'd been dating another girl. they'd crossed paths thru mutual friends, business meetings, etc, but he was always taken. he fast tracked the match, they went out, were married over a year ago, and are expecting their first baby in a couple of months. they are TRULY a perfect match. i couldn't think of anyone better for either of them.

 
At 12:21 AM, Blogger Kristabella said...

You know that founder guy is a crazy Mormon, right? And that eHarmony will reject people as "not compatible" when they sign up for eHarmony?

I like the commercials too, though. They give me hope. Even if my one eHarmony experience matched me with a 5-6 guy eating BBQ ribs in his photo with sauce all over his face.

I kid you not.

 
At 3:38 PM, Anonymous kelly said...

As someone who attended the wedding of Lee and Anne Marie, I can assure you that Lee is not the actor from Charmed! They are a real couple truly and completely in love.

 
At 5:57 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

I LOVE Lee and Anne Marie! Please tell them I think they are adorable. They are just the cutest couple ever.

 
At 1:48 AM, Blogger Margaret said...

UM, that's how I react to the "FreeCreditReport.com" commercials. You know, with the guy in the cheap car, and dressed like a pirate in a seafood restaurant.

Not really sure why.

 

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