My very guiltiest guilty pleasure
(Unrelated side note: I really, really, I mean REALLY want to write about politics, especially the role of women--Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, Bristol Palin, Hillary Clinton--in the election, but that requires a little more thought and editing than I am capable of coming up with at this hour, so maybe later. Or maybe no one cares. But you should care! I am fascinated, absolutely fascinated I tell you, by this hot mess of an election. I LOVE AMERICA! Even if I hate sexism! But for now, another thing I love ...)
I don't read Nicholas Sparks books, I don't watch Jane Austen movies, I don't listen to Journey and, oh, yeah, I've never done online dating a day in my life. But I LOVE eHarmony commercials. If I'm in the kitchen pouring a bowl of cereal and I hear an eHarmony commercial, I will drop that carton of milk right on the floor and rush into the living room to watch. If I'm in the bathroom cleaning the toilet and I hear an eHarmony commercial, you better believe that toilet brush will be bobbing in the water for the next 29 seconds. EVERY TIME. Considering the number of hours Bravo is playing in my house, and the apparently very lucrative deal eHarmony has with Bravo, that all means one thing: a hell of a lot of eHarmony commercials, a nasty toilet brush and a lot of spilled milk.
My favorite couple is Lee and Anne Marie. I'm sure you know them, they like to bowl and clap and twirl together down nondescript city streets. I hope Lee and Anne Marie never break up. I'm totally serious. I love them. I hope they have cute little kids and a cute little life and invite me to their golden anniversary party.
I was looking for the video to embed here, and I realized two very curious things: eHarmony does not let people embed its videos, and it does not let people comment on its videos. Doesn't eHarmony have any faith in its message of love and compatibility? Is it worried that people who don't believe in bowling and clapping and twirling will spew their cynicism all over that message of love and compatibility? I thought love triumphed over all, eHarmony!
And then I glanced over at the "related videos" and I saw one more curious thing: a video alleging that eHarmony includes subliminal messages in its commercials. Subliminal messages like: "I have to have sex."
Subliminal messages?!?! In my beloved eHarmony commercials? COULD THAT BE THE REAL REASON I LOVE THEM?
Hmm. I better go watch again, just to see.