Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Oh, how I love a good awards show. My favorite is the Golden Globes, but right behind it is the Emmys, which means I'm a giddy girl right about now. In the grand tradition of my little blog (see: here and here), I'll be live-blogging later during the red carpet and awards, so please stop by and chime in if you feel so inclined. It'll be one big cyber Emmy party!

A few pre-Emmy thoughts/predictions ...

* I am pretty sure it's going to be a Mad Men year (much to my friend's chagrin: "No one even WATCHES that show!" he keeps saying. "ONE MILLION viewers. Arrested Development had SIX." He does have a point.) Anyway, I've watched Mad Men a little bit ... it's OK, January Jones is great, but I can't get into it. It's too slow, too depressing, too something. But I still think it'll win best drama. (If I were queen of Emmy land, I'd give it to Dexter.)

* On the comedy side, I totally think it will be all 30 Rock. Best comedy, best actor (Alec Baldwin), best actress (Tina Fey). (If you haven't seen this clip from the episode Alec Baldwin submitted, go watch it, you will totally laugh.)

* I totally want Michael C. Hall to win best actor in a drama. I don't think he will (anybody but James Spader, PLEASE), but I hope he does.

* When I first heard the reality host nominees were going to be hosting, I was like, BAD IDEA, but actually, I take it back. I really like three of them (Jeff Probst, Ryan Seacrest, Tom Bergeron, who all have hosted live shows well) and Howie Mandel is fine. I'm not very excited about seeing Heidi Klum try to host--I'd let her just sit on the side and look pretty for most of it--but whatever. I actually think they'll do a pretty good job. DON'T MAKE ME REGRET SAYING THAT, GUYS!

OK ... see you in a few hours!


All right! Red carpet time!

5:12: Ryan Seacrest! Kathy Griffin! Red carpet hilarity! It's ensuing! Kathy just informed Ryan that Josh Groban gets more tail than he does. And now she just called Ryan a manwhore. The Emmy love, it is in the air.

5:15: They seriously expect me to listen to Rainn Wilson wax on about surburban America when there's a very dapper-looking (yes, dapper-looking!) David Boreanaz to gaze at? Rainn is funny, but David IS wearing a tux. A nicely-filled-out one.

5:24: I can't believe Mariska Hargitay is pulling off that yellow dress! Gosh, she is gorgeous.

5:31: Ditto Debra Messing. Sigh. I'm going to eat some more chips and salsa now.

5:36: I know that no one is ever allowed to say America Ferrera looks bad because she's the poster girl for non-cookie-cutter women in Hollywood ... but I don't think I'm feeling it tonight! I was busy eating chips and salsa, though, so I might need another look.

5:54: When my sister was little, she used to twirl her hair--wrap it in big loops around her fingers, over and over, until it was one tangled mess. That is what Mary Louise Parker's hair looks like right now.

6:35: OK, I just made guacamole. Michael C. Hall! Love him! Giuliana asked him if he wrote down a speech just in case, and I went on my awards show rant, which, in a nutshell is: Why on earth would actors, who memorize pages and pages of dialogue, need a piece of paper to remind them of the names of the most important people in their lives? I hate that. I am a mere blogger, and I bet I could rattle off a semi-coherent speech if someone handed me an Emmy right now.

6:37: You are NOT private about your personal life, Brad Garrett! You did an ONLINE DATING CONTEST to find women! I read about it in People magazine AND I saw it on The View! Seacrest, CALL HIM OUT ON THAT!

6:39: Did Brad Garrett make a joke about meeting her at Sarah Palin's vibrator party? I totally missed that.

6:47: The room is officially freaking out at how different Malcolm in the Middle's dad looks. (He might be nominated for Breaking Bad, but he'll always be Malcolm in the Middle's dad to me!) Is that a mustache on him or excess self-tanner? I can't decide.

7:04: I love Oprah as much as the next girl, but I didn't really get the point of that.

7:09: I might have to take back what I said about the hosts. What WAS that?

7:10: Look, nobody liked the opening, but Jeremy Piven! Catty, catty! Jean Smart ... classy!

7:25: My friend swears Eva Longoria is pregnant. I don't know, but I do know she has the best dress in a BAD lineup of Desperate Housewife dresses.

7:39: Please, please, please can Steve Carell and Ricky Gervais host together next year? Puhhhlease?

8:20: I haven't said anything in a while. There is nothing to say. There is only guacamole to eat.

9:42: Bryan Cranston's mustache: real. I think.

9:45: Are they serious? They're really going to commercial before they announce the reality host winner? They ARE serious!

9:51: I am glad that Jeff Probst won. I would also like to point out that Probst managed to give a very nice and articulate speech WITHOUT THE HELP OF A PIECE OF PAPER.

9:57: 30 Rock is cleaning up. Tina Fey can do no wrong right now, I swear. She could drive a semi truck through the front door of the White House and all of America would be like, oh, that Tina Fey!

10:02: And Mad Men wins. And then there's me, left wondering yet again why I can't parlay these Emmy-watching and predicting skills into something lucrative. Sigh.


At 6:57 AM, Blogger The Gang's All Here! said...

i totally forgot those were on this week. we're blogging our way thru china, been with our baby girl since tuesday. all we watch here is old hbo and time-delayed cnn so i'll check in later to see your wrap up.

At 10:12 AM, Blogger ballerinatoes said...

Yay! I love the Emmy's too. I'll be watching your live blog. Have fun!

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Mary Ann said...

I was hoping you were planning to do the Emmy's! Thanks for the laughs with the Alec Baldwin link.

At 1:21 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

I agree with you that this is the most wonderful time of the year, but for a whole different reason :) I'm all about the football. Can I safely rely on you to provide my recap so I don't have to watch?

At 3:51 PM, Blogger JenKneeBee said...

I'm so excited! The Emmy's are my favorite. I had totally forgotten about that scene from 30 Rock, but you're right, I couldn't stop laughing. I can't decide if I want him or Steve Carell to win it. But I definately agree with you about Michael C. Hall and Dexter. They're pure genius. And I really really want NPH to win for HIMYM.

At 6:06 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Ohhhh, Michelle. Football is EVERY WEEK! The Emmys are ONCE a YEAR! :)

At 8:07 PM, Blogger JenKneeBee said...

How awesome is it that Heidi Klum is taller than the rest of them. Why is Jeff Probst the only one not wearing a tie?

At 10:16 PM, Blogger Melek said...

what the hell was Alyssa Milano wearing? yikes!!

At 10:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've often wondered if Ryan Seacrest is really just a VERY SERIOUS guy in real life. There is a part of me that thinks he might actually have some deep intelligence there...

just sayin....

maybe I'm way off.

At 11:10 PM, Blogger JenKneeBee said...

I like Mad Men and 30 Rock, but I still wish Dexter and The Office had won. Oh well.

At 11:29 PM, Blogger Mary Ann said...

Oh, will someone please give Mary Tyler Moore some sleeves?

At 11:34 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

OK ...

I SADLY did not see Alyssa Milano, but you KNOW I'll go find a picture now.

I totally said the same thing about Heidi Klum being the tallest! Those Hollywood boys are shorties, all of their dates are taller.

I wish The Office and Dexter had won, too. Oh well.

As for Seacrest, I think he is actually very smart and totally has it together. That man wouldn't be able to do all the jobs he does if he didn't! His radio show is great.

And Mary's arms! I couldn't even LOOK at them! See, girls, that's what happens when you're too skinny!

At 2:19 AM, Blogger Michael said...

Yes, Jeff Probst might have given a speech without a piece of paper, but the greatest speech in the history of television programming was given without a piece of paper. Rats vs Snakes. Remember? And Probst saw it firsthand.

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Bina said...

How is it that I didn't even know this was on! And girl, you could have listed all the winners so I don't have to go look it up now. Sigh.

Hope the Guacamoli (or however you spell it) was good!

At 11:08 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

I am such a loser that I don't know who half of these stars are.


I need to go to people.com now.

OMG!!!! My word verification is THIS:

etmmmyg ... LOOK IT TOTALLY HAS THE WORD EMMY IN IT!!! That is a freaking ridiculous SIGN!!!!

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Those were the emmy's you watched last night, right?

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Melek said...

the first thing i thought when i saw MTM was, wow, she looks great. then they panned out and i saw her arms and i thought, why didn't she wear sleeves?? she still looked great tho, altho a bit thin.

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Elle Charlie said...

I did not watch this so thank you for the commentary! I feel like I did! Except now I'm totally craving chips and guacamole. Mmmmmmmmm....

At 3:41 PM, Blogger Andie said...

I guess I'm in the minority. I was totally hoping that Mad Men would win. the show is brilliant.

At 6:14 PM, Blogger Angela Williams Duea said...


I am going to have to go look up all the stars you mentioned. Who the heck are they? I know James Spader...

At 11:37 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Eva totally looked prego!


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