A desk says a thousand words
(Completely random note of the day: I got an email today FROM MY OWN EMAIL ADDRESS advertising hot, naked Angelina Jolie videos* and I was like, what? How is that from MY OWN email address? I think it's because I opened another email yesterday that I thought was a nice, friendly email because it said "Hello" in the subject line but really turned out to be spam. And then that little piece of spam somehow wrested control of my email address. Anyway, I got all freaked out, like, did it send dirty Angelina Jolie emails to everyone who's ever emailed me? If it did, I'M SORRY! I DID NOT SEND IT! If I were sending out hot, dirty emails they would be of BRAD. OBVIOUSLY. On to our post!)
So ... it took me eight hours to clean out my desk at work. EIGHT HOURS. Not eight hours with a little time spent eating lunch, a little time spent IMing, a little time spent talking about Brad and Angie's new twins** in the breakroom. EIGHT SOLID HOURS. Of course, because I am the most sentimental person on earth, I was taking pictures of everything, and as I was doing it, I was like, wow ... if you wanted to crack open the book that is Swishy, this would be a good place to start. Eyes are the windows to the soul ... and apparently my desk is a window to my neuroses.
I love sticky notes. I love making myself little notes on them, I love making lists on them, I just love them. Unfortunately, I love them so much ...
... I can't throw them away. Strangely, I don't have this little quirk at home, but at work, once I crossed everything off, I would save the stickies in an envelope just in case I needed them again. Or, you know, ever wanted to pull out a stack and marvel at my efficiency during that one week back in whatever that month was.
I threw away the envelope of stickies when I left. It was a very solemn, ceremonial moment, complete with the audience such a moment requires.
I don't remember how it came up, but once upon a time, I very innocently said that I liked the shiny little apple on the base of our Macs because I could check my hair in the reflection without even having to go to the bathroom. A few weeks later, I found a small mirror on my desk with that note.
But that wasn't the only mirror by my desk, ohhh, no. We moved offices two years ago. My old desk was in the back of the room, which was perfect. The new desk was smack dab in the middle of traffic, and it FREAKED me OUT. What if some serial killer snuck into the office? He could creep up behind me with his 12-inch knife and stab me right in the neck before I could so much as grab a dull pencil to retaliate. So I bought a bigger mirror and, after much trial and error, figured out how to hang it on the wall so I could look up and see behind me. In addition to scaring off serial killers, it also allowed me to clearly see every time my boss walked out of his office and ... oh, FINE, occasionally check my hair. Not that I was ever good-naturedly MOCKED for that or anything ...
I think I've mentioned before that people liked to leave things on my desk. In this case, however, I am sure they had the wrong desk. I'm SURE.
All in all, the desk in, oh, Hour 2 (you'll notice I eventually moved the computer so I could face the direction of traffic ... but yes, left the mirror hanging there):
And in Hour 3,984:
And, of course, it wouldn't have been a proper farewell without this:
* Great. People are totally going to come to my blog now after doing Google searches for hot, sexy Angelina Jolie videos.
** The Brangelina baby photo shoot is allegedly going to take place on Monday, so ... pictures next week! Maybe!