Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Real ... ish love

So I'm at my coffee shop right now, sitting next to this woman and her priest. They're having a late lunch together. And can I just say, she is TOTALLY in love with him. She is so, SO in love with him. It's written all over her face in that way that it should be if you're in love, except, you know, he's a priest, so she's not really supposed to be in love with him. But you can't help who you love! So she loves him, she does, and it's kind of sweet and also kind of tragic and I can't get enough of it. It's like The Thorn Birds up in my little coffee shop right now, which--full disclosure--I've never actually seen (or read) but I know all about thanks to I Love the '80s.

Man, I love my coffee shop sometimes.

Which kind of, sort of leads me to Entertainment Weekly.com. Don't ask me how I missed this, I don't know, but a couple of months ago they did this "TV Character You'd Date in Real Life" photo gallery as a follow-up to their staff's confession of TV crushes. Fun! So, to brighten up this cold, crappy Monday, we're gonna play. I'll go first. I would totally date ...

Aidan Shaw, Sex and the City. The short-haired, "Carrie sees him again at the opening of Steve's bar and the sexual tension literally makes the TV sweat" version. Oh, man, I love that version. I've watched that version approximately 317 million times. He's totally hot and sweet and funny ... and hello, he makes furniture! With his hands! To recap: HE'S GOOD WITH HIS HANDS!

Jack Bauer, 24. Yes, he saves the world and has the whole edgy thing going for him, but the thing that gets me about Jack Bauer is his mouth. Specifically, what comes OUT of his mouth. His voice is the BEST on the planet. Laugh if you want, I don't care, but sometimes I seriously sit there and close my eyes so the only thing that can seep into my senses is that sessssy voice and ... oh, my hot. Try it sometime. (Plus, as I might have mentioned a time or 20, I completely want to wrap Kiefer Sutherland in a CTU blanket and cuddle all the angst right out of him, so there's that.)

Pacey Witter, Dawson's Creek. He bought Joey a wall. A wall! That was probably what sealed it for me. Or maybe it was when they're dancing and he fingers her bracelet and leans into her hair and is like, "I remember everything" or when he's like "I'm gonna kiss you, and you have 10 seconds to stop me. 10, 9 ..." or when they're fighting and he's like, "Don't you get tired of talking? I get tired of talking" and then kisses her for the first time. Love it, love it aaaaand ... love it. SO much.

Jim Halpert, The Office. I was going to leave him off because he's the trendy choice here and I'm generally not a big fan of trendy choices, but I mean, he's Jim Halpert. He's sort of custom-made for this sort of thing, don't you think? I literally got goosebumps all over my body, even on my pinkie toes, during that Season 2 finale when he was all, "I don't want to do that ... I want to be more than that" and then went and kissed her. Goosebumps! On my pinkie toes!

Eric Taylor/Matt Saracen, Friday Night Lights. Of course Coach Taylor. He puts the "stud" in stud muffin, the "handsome" in tall, dark and handsome, the "him" in "I want him right this second." But every once in a while, the dirty old woman side comes out, even in the best of us. And when it does? Look out, Matty Saracen! LOOK OUT! (OK, yes, he plays a 16-year-old, so yes, it's wrong, but the guy who plays him isn't 16, so it's not THAT wrong, right? Right?)

Mike Seaver, Growing Pains. Oh, like you wouldn't have.

I am seriously going to be on YouTube all night now. Your turn!

31 Comments:

At 8:04 PM, Blogger House of Jules said...

Between this Thornbirds story and the one with the doctor making calls to his patients at the table next to you, it's official: you go to the best coffee house, EVER.
I cannot "second" you more enthusiastically on the love for Pacey Witter. Dear LORD, that boy took my breath away. I was SO HAPPY when he & Joey ended up together. My Dawson's Creek friends (We called ourselves Dawson's Freaks which might make us officially the dorkiest group of friends in all the land!) and I were practically screaming when it showed them together in their NYC apartment at the end. Hurrah.
Ok, I've already revealed too much...
Jules
House of Jules

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger DeeMarie said...

Definitely Pacey... OH, how I loved Pacey.
And Danny McCoy on Vegas, because, seriously, Josh Dumhal?? He's sweet, and tough, and smart, and he practically runs The Vegas Strip. YUM!!
I would also have to agree with Mike Seaver... so cute.
I also have to say Jack from Men in Trees. He's quiet and loving, and way sexy, and his voice is to die for.
And I can't leave out my other childhood dream, Chachi Arcola. Joanie wasn't the only girl who loved Chachi!

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

Ok, so it isn't tv, but the voice that has always melted me is Christian Slater. mmmmmmmm...

But how do they not include Jack from Lost in that list? Guy totally has the skills. Except for that little trust and temper and substance abuse. Ok, maybe I have to find someone else.

Actually, I'll second the guy from Vegas. Yum!

 
At 9:11 PM, Blogger JenKneeBee said...

I'm totally in love with Ned from Pushing Daisies. Lee Pace is soooo hot.

When I was little I always had a thing for Shawn Hunter in Boy Meets World.

 
At 11:04 PM, Blogger Dizzy Ms. Lizzy said...

Jimmy Smits (Bobby Simone on NYPD BLue). OMG - - SO sexy, SO hot. He just takes my breath away!

And, believe it or not, Patrick Stewart (Capt. Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek: TNG) - - he could land his starship in my back yard ANY day . . . *sigh*

 
At 11:21 PM, OpenID theneatos said...

Mick St. John, Moonlight. Hopefully in all of his sexy hawt vampir-ish-ness.

Jenkneebee - I am so infatuated with Ned, too!

Dr. Reed from Criminal Minds - his quirky super smart omg and he wears argyle. I get all dreamy right in front of the husband.

Lastly, not an actual character - but Neil from So You Think You Can Dance from last season? He is all sorts of hawt. We saw him in San Antonio and he has muscles places that make me blush.

Wheee

 
At 7:22 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Simon Baker in "Something New"..OMG!!!!!! I want him!!!

Hugh Grant in "Love Actually"

Leif Garrett on "Family" when he was Kristy McNichols boyfriend. Oh how I hated that girl...

Has Brad ever been on tv? Oh ya! He was on Friends, so I pick him!!!

Swish, this is fun!!!! I'm gonna go think of some more...this deserves much deep thought...

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger Mary Ann said...

Ok, James Spader. See him in Sex, Lies, and Videotape and then Boston Legal will never be the same.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger J... said...

Pacey Witter is a no-brainer. Tha boy was fine!!! And way sensitive in a "only one girl will get to see it" kind of way.

Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill. I adore his brooding attitude.

Dylan McKay, Beverly Hills 90210. Again the tortured and brooding type.

Then just when you think you know me, I throw in...

Gregory House, House. That man does it for me everytime. Bad boy that speaks his mind without any forethought to who will be affected by his words. A take no shit kind of guy. I just want to crack his shell to see what lies deeper inside everytime I see him on the screen. Love, Love, Love him!!!!

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger Dizzy Ms. Lizzy said...

Oh! And how could I forget Chris Meloni - Elliot Stabler on "Law and Order: SVU"????

LOVE LOVE LOVE that man!

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger Bina said...

Oh boy. I can't think of a certain person! I don't watch enough TV, but all I can think about at the moment is George Clooney when he was ER. Oh, I wanted him BAD!

Love the priest/love thing. How freaking cute, in a sad kinda way.

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Bina said...

Okay, Luke Wilson. I KNOW! But sometimes, there is just something about that man!

 
At 4:45 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Your choices are very similar to mine actually. Love Jim, Pacey and Aidan. I did a post awhile ago called Fantasy Fictional Boyfriends where I included Michael Scofield from Prison Break and Max Evans from Roswell. I love this stuff. :)

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger Golightly said...

how fun and I love your picks! I'd choose: McSteamy but then he'd break my heart so I would move on to...Doug Heffernan (Kevin James) from the King of Queens, there is just something about him that makes my heart go aww and he is hilarious - we'd never have a boring date; Jack or Sawyer from LOST; Gio from Ugly Betty; and Billy Campbell's character from Once and Again (darn how I miss that show)

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger Trish said...

I just saw the U2 documentary "Rattle and Hum" and OMG no one told me that Edge was so quiet and mysteriously. . . cute!?

And I am always game for some Will Smith especially in I Am Legend. Mmm Mmmm

 
At 7:47 PM, Blogger Drewpy Drew said...

Mary Anne. If the professor made a raft, I'd sink it just to stay on the island with her. Hubba hubba.

 
At 8:52 PM, Blogger Angela Williams Duea said...

I'm in total agreement on Jack Bauer (that voice!). I actually fell in love with Kiefer in the movie "Lost Boys" - I think I wore out the videotape!

Jim Halpert, yes. I LOVED that final episode! In fact I think I did the victory "YES!" with the fist pump. And then smiled idiotically while they kissed.

I love your coffeshop stories. Thornbirds, huh? One of my tragic dating moments was the guy who told me, on the third date, that he'd decided to become a priest. I'm assuming I had nothing to do with that decision.

 
At 9:26 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

I totally have to go with Matthew Perry or David Schwimmer - so many Chandler and Ross moments that melted me.
I don't watch current TV - so I am no good there.

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Jon B said...

If I were a girl, Pacey Witter would be at the top. Remember when he got all nuts and took that boat out in the thunderstorm?? Crazy. Ok, thats too much info for a guy to know about Dawsons Creek...

I can't believe you left off Zack Morris! That guy had the coolest cell phone of all time....

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger Melek said...

i'm all about Jim Halpert...when he got down on one knee with Pam, i almost lost it. i got the pinky toe goose bumps!

additionally:
Scott Baio - Chachi (of course)

I dont watch enough TV, so the rest will be Big Screen personalities. But i'll limit it to 5.

Hugh Jackman - luscious as Wolverine

Jason Stratham - bc he looks just like my boyfriend :)

Will Smith - he's totally hot in I am Legend

Marc Ruffalo - dont know why, but i jsut think he's such a cutie

Jake Gyllenhaal - even tho he's 10 years younger than i am....

 
At 12:32 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

I am LOVING these!!! I keep "me too"-ing! OK, couple things. I have talked to Josh Duhamel up close, and he is BREATHTAKING, I kid you not. And Mark Ruffalo in 13 Going on 30! His cute little CBGB t-shirt and bemused smile and tousled hair ... ahhh. LOVE HIM.

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

OK, I KNOW nobody chose my guys. The first one I pick is...

Vince Vaughn!

Because we'd be at a little dark dive bar in Chicago, the kind with a jukebox and some dart boards, and they don't even know how to make a cosmo there, and the best vodka they have behind the bar would be POPOV and we'd sit next to each other on worn out red leather stools and even though I don't do shots all that much anymore, we'd throw back some, then Brown Eyed Girl would come on the juke box (HOW CLICHE IS THAT!) and he'd take me on the 4 x 4 dance floor and we'd dance all goofy, and THEN something slow and sexy would come on and he'd pull me wwwaaaaay close to him and I would feel every tall dirty inch of his body against mine and he'd whisper some naughty things into my ear...

OK, I'll stop there.

The other fantasy belongs to Michael Johns, but I need to confirm his actual height because I am thinking he's not at least 6'2" and if that's the truth, it doesn't matter how cute he is or how awesome he sings, it just ain't gonna do it for the Manic!

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Oh, and I thought of another...

Simon, but only if it's a Swishy-Simon-Stephy sammich! Dontchaknow!

Right girlfriend!

Winka winka!

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger Andie said...

Dr. Gregory House, House MD

Det. Elliot Stabler, Law & Order: SVU

Det. Robert Goren, Law & Order: CI

Dexter MOrgan, Dexter (this is strictly based on looks!)

Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under

Henry from Ugly Betty

and I think that's all for now. As far as movies go, I could go on for days...

but my biggest one:

Chris Brander in Just Friends OR Hannibal King in Blade: trinity OR Van Wilder in Van Wilder OR Will Hayes in Definitely Maybe. LOL :)

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Just A Girl In GA said...

Matthew Perry for sure, I love him. Also like Tyler Florence from the Food Network and Charles Gibson from ABC World News (not sure what the attraction is with Charlie).

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Ryan reynolds!!! YUMMO!!

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger Patti said...

def jack bauer...hottie mchotster, especially when he pulls out his gun.

dexter (don't know his name...shame on me)

jason segal as marshall on how i met your mother (um, or as i like to call him "wang dude from forgetting sarah marshal)

 
At 3:10 PM, Blogger Monnik said...

I am so with you on the Eric Taylor thing. But Matt Saracen? Well, you know I think you're a bit goofy, but he did get more grown up in season 2, you know with that super hot latina nurse and all. Tim Riggins is still my boy, though. :)

 
At 2:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't believe that u haven't mentioned Julian McMahon yet, sexy dr. Christian Troy for Nip/Tuck!!!If I had to choose I would definitely pick him:-P

 
At 8:59 AM, OpenID wndrLives said...

I pledged to kill myself and those around me if Joey chose Dawson in that crazy finale all those years ago. Pacey Witter can still make me smile - even if watching that show makes me feel OLD. Also I don't see Jim Halpert as trendy...I see it more as the world getter smarter with time and making him, not Keanu Reeves, their ideal. Also I'd like to add Sawyer from Lost. He's just HOT.

 
At 9:00 AM, OpenID wndrlives said...

I pledged to kill myself and those around me if Joey chose Dawson in that crazy finale all those years ago. Pacey Witter can still make me smile - even if watching that show makes me feel OLD. Also I don't see Jim Halpert as trendy...I see it more as the world getter smarter with time and making him, not Keanu Reeves, their ideal. Also I'd like to add Sawyer from Lost. He's just HOT.

 

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