Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

The most fun you'll ever have on a Tuesday night

The competition for "Fun ways to spend a Tuesday night," by the way, is a whole lot stiffer than you might think. There are a lot of fun ways to spend a Tuesday night. A LOT. And I did the funnest one.

But first, I will very quickly recap Tuesday afternoon: I'm on my way to Manic's and I have to take a call for work, so I pull off at a gas station, get out my laptop and start taking notes on it in between the diesel pump and the 25-cent air machine. Approximately four truckers shoot me bewildered looks. I get done and call Manic, and she and Jess already are totally blog-gossiping. I'm all, I wanna hear! So Manic puts me on speaker phone and immediately is like, "HOW MUCH RED BULL HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?" (Answer: none. I never drink Red Bull. Because when it very, very first came out, some guy told me it had bull semen in it, and NO, I didn't believe him, but ... still.) I get to Manic's and Jess shows me one of the first copies of her book (out in May! pre-order here!) and it is super, I mean, SUPER exciting, because I have known Jess for two years and the whole two years we've been waiting for her book to come out and IT'S FINALLY COMING OUT! And we go to Subway and the guy totally knows Manic wants turkey before she even asks for it. We are amazed. And that, in a nutshell, is Tuesday afternoon.

So Tuesday night! We are meeting Eileen for dinner before her reading. I am in the front seat, in charge of directions, and--APPARENTLY, according to SOME people--failing miserably, although a COMPLETE absence of U-turns, missed turns or wrong roads would suggest otherwise.

Manic: You're supposed to be GIVING DIRECTIONS, not talking about the LADY AT THE DMV! (Note from Swish: I will tell you all THAT story later.)
Me: I AM giving directions! I TOTALLY AM!
Manic: East or West? HUH? EAST OR WEST?
Me: West ... I mean East. No! West!
Manic: You are FIRED. Jess is totally sitting in the front on the way back!

Jess, meanwhile, is wisely staying out of the whole thing by busying herself with the seat warmer. Because future bestselling authors deserve--nay, DEMAND!--warm buns.

We arrive at the restaurant (again, worth noting, minus a SINGLE U-turn) and ... it's Eileen! And her cousin! And her friend Ruth! And her lackey! (Otherwise known as Jamie, her friend from college and book tour chaperone. And, you know, lackey.) We are all super excited because we love Eileen (and, by extension, anyone worthy of being in her entourage). They are all sweet and funny and warm and all-around awesome, and as a result we are all on our best behavior around them (during dinner, at least).

And then it was time to go to the bookstore! It was a few blocks away, and I got there last because I didn't have a chivalrous, wildly attractive man holding me up as I teetered across the ice in my oh-so-sensible three-inch heels. BUT! That was OK, because I got a picture of this:

SO BIG TIME! I go inside, and ... hello, I SAID it was the funnest Tuesday night ever! It's Kristabella! And Ms. Jennsylvania! It's a total blogger-writer extravaganza! Because Eileen is THAT popular! Her reading is wonderful--she's composed and gracious and funny and totally looks like she's been doing that kind of thing forever. We are proud little groupies and take lots of pictures (none of which, incidentally, wants to load right now).

Afterward, we all go to a wine bar down the street, which is very cute with lots of great ambience and a waiter named Kevin. Manic thinks Kevin looks like Adam Duritz from Counting Crows. I think he looks like Adrian Grenier from Entourage. Upon further reflection, it's probably a tie: Duritz face, Grenier hair. Kevin is very nice and Manic gives him our blog addresses. Hi, Kevin!

And THEN Jess's brother gets there! Told you it was a party! Pretty much everyone adores him instantly, and he's SUCH a good sport. We're all "Blah blah blah books" and "Blah blah blah blogs" and "Blah blah blah writing" and I look over at him and I'm like, "You must totally feel like you're at a Star Trek convention or something right now." And he's so nice, he's like, no, I think it's great, and everyone likes him even more. But I have to point something out here: We have a few bowls of chocolate truffles, right? One truffle falls on the floor and Manic picks it up and eats it. She SAYS it was because it was the last one left, but really, there was one on the table that Jake had taken a little nibble out of ... AND SHE PICKED THE ONE ON THE FLOOR INSTEAD! I love chocolate, I love truffles, I'm not here to judge, but I would have gone for the Jake truffle before I went for the floor truffle. I am JUST saying.

The next morning, I show Manic and Jess the Matt Damon-Sarah Silverman video and the Ben Affleck-Jimmy Kimmel rebuttal because they hadn't seen them yet. NATURALLY, Manic starts making up her own version of the song:

"I'm bleeping Matt Damon ... and Ben Affleck ... at the same time!"
"On the floor ... by the door ... cuz I'm a whore!"

And, yes. Sixteen hours later, I still TOTALLY have that in my head.


At 8:36 AM, Blogger Jules said...

That DOES sound like the most fun you can have on a Tuesday night! I can't believe all of you were together in one place, no wonder the internet was so boring that night. I love Manic's version of the Matt Damon song but now I'm going to have that song in my head all day at work. Hopefully I won't be singing it out loud.
House of Jules

At 9:24 AM, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Aaaaahhh! I love you!! I laughed out loud at the seat-warmer thing...I WAS pretty involved with that little gadget, huh?!

It was SOO good to see you! I will write a proper message later, gotta run to a meeting now. (Blegh!)

At 10:19 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

OK, you totally got me.


But I love you anyway.

And yeah, I guess you're right. You woulda gone for the Jake Truffle instead of the Floor Truffle. Just sayin'.

Hey, was there a Kevin Truffle?

At 11:22 AM, Blogger Tanya said...

I was at Borders on Olive on Tuesday night and it was not very exciting. Next time I need to find the crazy one where all the bloggies are at.

At 11:54 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Wow, that blows my Tuesday out of the water. Glad you guys had fun!!

At 12:39 PM, Blogger Chrissy said...

My Tuesday was full of TV watching. So you definitely had more fun and it sounded like fun.

And the song is hilarious!

At 8:00 PM, Blogger Beth said...

You and Manic always have so much fun together!

and I LOVE those Matt/Ben videos!!

At 11:30 PM, Blogger JenKneeBee said...

Wow! Sounds like a whirlwind night. And I absolutely love Manic's version of the song. Very, very clever.

At 12:26 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Oh, I sooo had more verses to that song. Like the one about the Matt and Ben sandwich!

Guess who was smushed in the middle?

Yeah. Me.

At 9:56 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

You guys are crazy. Sounds like a blast. Manic's version of the silvernam/kimmel song is great!

At 6:40 PM, Blogger Angela WD said...

A whole bowl of chocolate truffles? Oh...my...

At 1:40 PM, Anonymous kristabella said...

It totally WAS the most fun I've ever had on a Tuesday night! We should tour the country as a group because we are all that fabulous and people SO want to hang out with us. Great to see you!

At 7:06 PM, Blogger Vanessa said...

Can I just say how envious I am?

At 8:38 PM, Anonymous Ree said...

I've already whined over at Kristabella's site. And pouted. I may have even cried.

At 5:27 PM, Blogger cubmommy said...

You guys are crazy! Glad you guys had a blast!

At 11:18 PM, Blogger Senor Beavis said...

Hey, you should have ... what? I have class on Tuesday nights? Balls!

At 1:58 PM, Blogger girlymom4 said...

Just found you and wanted to say hello! Sounds like you guys had a great time! I will have to check out Jess's book! Glad I found some authors to check out! I LOVE to read and would LOVE to write my own book one day...if I ever find the time...I have 4 girls, so I'm kinda busy right now...lol


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