Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Leftovers

A few things here and there ...

* I haven't really watched much of American Idol since the Fantasia season (which was laaaame!) but oh, oh, oh, was that show like a big, Olympic-sized pool in the middle of the Sahara tonight. There has been SUCH crap on TV lately, they could have had 50 Sanjayas on tonight and it still would have been must-see TV. I watched it while I was working out and I totally kept laughing out loud. (The stalker guy? The wax guy? Ohhh, I died!) The funny thing was that EVERYONE ELSE at the gym had it on, too. The middle-aged guy on one side of me. The teenage girl on the other side of me. The grandpa three machines down. And THEY were all laughing out loud, too.

Oh, that Simon Cowell. Bringing America together, one elliptical at a time.

* So the lotion thing I alluded to in my last post? This is what happens when you're throwing things in your bag at 5:30 a.m. on one hour of sleep. I was SO careful about putting all my liquid everythings in the checked bag, and then at the last second I was like, oh! Lotion! And tossed it (duh) in the carry-on. So I go through security, and they stop me (again) and search me (again) and tell me I have to check my bag (again). Except I CAN'T check this bag, because it has stuff I absolutely, positively need and cannot afford to have lost in, I don't know, South Dakota somewhere.

Can I tell you what the security person did? Can I tell you? She took my nearly full bottle of Vanilla Bean Noel lotion--a lotion that, might I add, is only sold ONCE A YEAR and is no longer in stores--and threw it in the garbage. IN THE GARBAGE! There's not a women's shelter they can donate it to or something? Or, at the very least, they can't wait until I turn my back and THEN throw it in the garbage?

It was so depressing. It's my favorite lotion. I can't even order it on the website anymore. There is a gift set on clearance with some lotion in it, so I'll order that and get by until November, but ... SAD! The terrorists have SO won.

* So last week I got home late from work, all frazzled and exhausted and out of my mind, and I was like, I'm so tired, I don't even know if I have the energy to get the MAIL. But I did anyway, and GUESS WHAT? I got a package! From my BBFF Manic! Isn't that awesome? She sent me a cute little journal to go with our muses and it was the bestest thing ever and totally made my night.



Of course, then I promptly spilled marinara sauce all over the carpet. Of COURSE I did. Because it was that kind of day.



But I didn't care! Because I got a nice package! Yay!

Finally ...

* I can't believe Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend is pregnant. (Yes, I went to People.com just now.)

* I think it's stupid that newspapers endorse candidates. (Yes, I have the Michigan primary results on right now.)

* Do you ever wonder why we say "thanks" if it's "THANK you"? (Yes, I am tired and need to go to bed. Night!)

23 Comments:

At 9:42 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

WHAT?!? My boyfriend knocked up another woman??? You have got to be F-ING. KIDDING. ME.

(sigh)

And check ebay for that lotion....you can luck out and find discontinued to stuff on there quite a bit. :)

 
At 11:07 AM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

My heart aches for your lotion loss! That might sound sarcastic, but I mean it--I'm carefully parceling out applications of my favorite (discontinued) lipgloss ever, watching the bottom of the vial stare up at me as it increases in size; I can't even imagine if I had a new, full vial and airport security threw it away. I'm glad that Simon was able to add a little brightness to your day :)

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

I was shocked to hear about Matthew M's girlfriend too. Though I'm not sure why that surprises me...

Sorry for your lotion loss, that does suck.

Hope you have a great rest of the week.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Tanya said...

It is a very sad day in America when the general public must suffer from dry skin due to terrorists.

Next time maybe you can have the person you are visiting mail it to you?

I really really want to know how you make a bomb with vanilla beans?

 
At 12:14 PM, Blogger Beth said...

OMG!! I was watching American Idol last night oo,and when that stalker guy came on, I thought, "I gotta talk to Swish about this!" then the waxing guy came on...EEEWWWWWWWW! And I thought of you again!!! HA! But I really get tired of the stupid people who just want to be on tv...I'm with simon and get a disgusted look onmy face everytime they come on.

and the lotion thing sucks. They could at least do it after you leave the area. B*&%#!!!!

and sauce on light carpet??!! OH NO!!!! did you lick it up, like Joey Tribiani would? ;)

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger Beth said...

and, do they not sell condoms in HOLLYWOOD?!?!!! Is EVERYONE pregnant? But that will be a cute little baby...a boy with curly hair and a dimple!

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger KATE said...

I'm so sorry about your lotion. That happened to me once & it was a BIG bottle of the BODY CREAM! Suck! Sorry!
I'm so glad you got some fun mail from Miss Manic!
& thanks for the reminder that American Idol is on! I forgot, I need to set up my DVR, I love laughing at all the freaks auditioning! Except there are times I get embarassed for them!

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger Melek said...

idol is my fav! the stalker guy creeped me out, and the wax guy...well, i just wonder how much they paid him to have that done. you know it's gonna itch like hell when it grows back in. our fav tho was the low singing guy...what the hell was THAT?

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger Sara Hantz said...

Ooooooooooo I'm so jealous that AI has started. We;ll have to wait awile before we get it.

Fab journal!!!

 
At 3:49 PM, Blogger Drewpy Drew said...

I know I'll be unpopular for saying this, but you can't get mad at the check point guy for tossing your lotion. Everybody knows the rules. I lost a great pocket knife in Mexico for the same reason. I could only blame myself.

And I bet that at some point, you have made fun of the people ahead of you in line who get their stuff tossed. Come on, you know you have.

I am sorry that you lost some hard to replace lotion, but you fly a lot and know the rules.

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Sherry said...

Oh I hate it when I spill something on the carpet...sooooo...I took up all the carpeting and have hardwood...so much easier to clean up!!!

Matthew M's girlfriend is pregnant? I always thought he was gay...just sayin'...guess I don't know everything!!

 
At 8:48 PM, Anonymous She She said...

OMG!!! Hi Swishy - I am the friend of Jenster who emailed you and thinks you rock!!! I, too, was transfixed in front of the TV watching American Idol last night!! What about the glitter face girl who had a meltdown!! Are these people delusional? Do they just want to get on TV? It was so entertaining and I will be front and center tonight watching as well!!!

 
At 9:52 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

See, I got you that cute journal so we can have matching journals that we will never write in while we don't use our matching muses that don't work a damn anyway!!! LOL!

 
At 11:54 PM, Blogger Moanna said...

I absolutely agree with you on the lotion thing...that they could at least collect the items and give them to a shelter.

 
At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Ree said...

Sigh. I would get my tubes re-tied to have his baby. Mr. Hot wouldn't mind. He loves babies.

I had my brand new (used once) Body Shoppe lavender butter (so thick it was solid!) confiscated and tossed once. I almost stuck my head through the wall.

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger Cecily R said...

I thought my husband was going to hypervenilate at the Americal Idol stalker guy. He hasn't laughed like a girl like that in a while...

Sorry about your lotion loss. Sad really. The terrorists HAVE won.

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

My husband's friend's wife (got that?) called him at work yesterday to tell him she was crushed to find out Mr. McConnohotty's girlfriend was pregnant. Now he won't marry her.

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger XYZinn said...

I hate red things that get on my carpet! That is why Ryley will never get the joy of drinking fruit punch, because I just KNOW as soon as it gets in her hand, it will be on the floor.

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

Even Mr. Farmer watched AI. I could hear him laughin' all the way down stairs!
And that totally SUCKS about your lotion!

 
At 2:27 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Frannie! How are you? I haven't been able to get to your blog in FOREVER! For some reason it won't load on my computer.

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger The Franchise said...

"Oh, that Simon Cowell. Bringing America together, one elliptical at a time." I lol'ed on that one, these are things you should know...

 
At 2:28 AM, Blogger Kristabella said...

I love getting packages! I can’t believe Matthew is going to be a dad. But that kid is going to be purty.

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger LaskiGal said...

Found you at Manic and had to comment on this post . . .

I did a ridiculous review (I realize I went overboard NOW) on AI--there wasn't and still isn't anything on and I had insomnia!

I'm with you about newspapers and media predicting winners . . . they need to get out of the psychic biz.

 

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