Ra, ra, ra, random!
Well, I had all the makings of a funny--nay, HILARIOUS!--post today, but unfortunately my IM crashed before I could read it all over again. It crashes all the time at work (where I use a Mac), because I refuse to give in and use iChat and that is Apple's way of sticking it to me. Well, I'm sorry, but I will take Apple's punishment any day over the potential train wreck that is sending IMs to the wrong people. Which I invariably manage to do every time I use iChat.
So, in lieu of funny, a fistful of random:
Good news! The next time you're picking up your emergency pack of toilet paper and midnight chocolate fix at Rite-Aid, you can buy a paternity test, too. I am SO relieved. Because, you know, I was going to go on Maury Povich to find out, but first the producers wouldn't return my calls, and then I had to talk the baby daddies into coming on the show, and I couldn't get the time off work ... but now I don't have to worry about any of that! I can just go to Rite-Aid!
Seriously. $29.99 paternity tests at the corner drugstore. And you're telling me there are people who still doubt that America is the greatest nation on the planet?
Funniest line from Project Runway tonight: "It's so ..." (wrinkles nose) "David Beckham."
Time for a question from the book. From page 69, as selected by the one and only Manic: If you could only use one cosmetic item for the rest of your life, what would you choose? Well. I am assuming things like shampoo and deodorant don't count, so I'll say concealer. Because it's the only way to fake eight hours of sleep on five.
The other question was, if you could eliminate one odor from the earth, what would it be? Bad milk. TOTALLY. Even more than poop. I smell bad milk, and literally, I start dry heaving. I am, like, dry heaving right now just thinking about it.
Well, not really. But practically.
Conversation between higher-ups during a lull in a meeting today:
Person A: I don't like Captain Crunch.
Person B: How come?
Person A: It tears at the roof of my mouth.
Person B: Really? (Pause.) You know what's worse is generic Captain Crunch. It just gets soggy too fast.
Person A (very seriously): Sometimes, you really can't go generic.
And no, it wasn't precipitated by a single thing. Personally, I prefer Golden Grahams and Cheerios anyway.