The late night show
OK, this is why I can't go to sleep early like normal people. I came home from work, watched the assy Scott Baio and completely crashed on the couch (lights on, clothes on, TV blaring) somewhere around 10:30 or 11. I woke up at 3. I'm still tired, but it's after 4 now and I CANNOT GO BACK TO SLEEP!
Dawson's Creek was on at 3. It was the one where Joey's dad gets out of prison. It was also the one where that girl Abby, the one who goes on to get impaled in a train accident on Grey's Anatomy, topples over drunk into the ocean and dies. In other words, it was a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE. And it ended with Joey and Dawson making out as their parents watched, which was just weird on several different levels and perhaps a little inappropriate since, you know, there were people dying and all.
I still cannot get over the fact that JOEY POTTER is married to TOM CRUISE. I still find Pacey strangely hot. I still think Dawson is a big whiny baby, and I still can't believe I totally used to tape this show and watch it religiously. It's almost unwatchable to me now. Really, though, it was unwatchable after the third season, which is when all my favorite shows die (Ally McBeal, Grey's Anatomy--maybe--I'm looking at you). It peaked when Pacey bought Joey the wall, and then I stopped watching when they went to college. I watched the series finale, though, and bawled my freaking eyes out. It was like I was saying goodbye to a whole era of my life. Although the thought that an era of my life was defined by a show starring James Van Der Beek and a bunch of teenagers who wax philosophical about things like "intuitive insight" is maybe not the best thing to admit.
OK, random note. Have you ever seen the BBC show Footballers Wives? Totally crazy show. They were supposed to do a U.S. version, and James Van Der Beek was supposed to play one of the NFL players. HA. Ha ha ha.
So anyway, Dawson's Creek is over and now it's all infomercials and VH1 videos. There's this one infomercial called "Midnight Soul" that is cracking me up. It's a collection of songs to get you in the mood to get busy. Songs by people like ... Color me Badd and Al B. Sure. HA HA. Tick-tock, you don't stop!
OK, Fergie's on VH1 right now. It's the song I don't want to admit I like. It's ... Big Girls Don't Cry. I KNOW! I know, I know. OK, so this video: I don't really buy Milo Ventimiglia's fake tattoos. I think Fergie needs to put on a bra. And I STILL do not understand how she landed herself Josh Duhamel (aka the hottest person I have ever met). He is gorgeous. She is ... not gorgeous.
I think I'm the only person on the planet who doesn't like that Maroon 5 song Makes Me Wonder. I am SICK of it! And WTF is up with the video, anyway? He's in a tux walking through an airport? OK, James Bond. Now he's getting frisked by a bunch of hot security chicks. That's a shocker--Adam Levine making sure he gets felt up by a bunch of women.
Anyway, the best Maroon 5 song is still Harder to Breathe.
Oh. My. Goodness. I just flipped channels and COPS is on!! HA HA HA. There are literally SIX COPS wrestling ONE GUY to the ground right now. He was trying to beat them up with a crescent wrench. I'm serious. Now they've got him in cuffs and they're all standing around with their hands on their hips, breathing heavy, and the one cop says it's the THIRD time they've dealt with this guy. He has red hair and a mustache and he's PISSED.
OK, speaking of cops, I used to live next door to the biggest crack ho ever. Too bad I didn't have a blog then ... oh, the stories. The STORIES! I seriously started researching crystal meth on the Internet because I thought for sure she had a lab in her apartment. Ohhhh, you have no idea. I think I've repressed most of that year ... it's just a blur of late-night screamfests and red-and-blue flashing lights.
HA! The cop on Cops just found a gun hidden in a BAG OF BARBEQUE POTATO CHIPS!
Gloria, a white-haired grandmother, lost 10 pounds doing 60-second bursts on the Leg Magic System. Just an FYI.
Oh, boy. I just discovered that I have the Lifetime Movie Channel now. I am SO not opening THAT Pandora's box.