Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Weekend update

A quick look at the latest pop culture headlines:

* The latest celebrity baby was born over the weekend. Milla Jovovich and Paul Anderson had a girl and named her Ever Gabo Anderson. I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? I feel like they took a handful of Scrabble letters and just arranged them to form approximations of two words. I just don't understand that at all.

Also, I love when I can't tell the gender of a child by the name. I understand that there a lot of unisex names out there, many of them very cute, but shouldn't the middle name, at least, be a tipoff?

* So Katie Holmes ran the New York Marathon. That was a little bit random, but I mean, good for her. She did it in 5:29:58, which I love. That would be my time. Give or take like two or three hours.

But the real story of marathon week was the nasty, nasty, gross, disgusting news that Lance Armstrong was making out with Ashley Olsen all over town. Siiiiiick! I mean, for real. Take your classic little girl/dirty old man story and make it a million times nastier, and you've got Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen.

* Christina Aguilera admitted she was pregnant. Borrrring.

* For those of you who don't obsessively read things like Variety like I do, the writers in Hollywood are going on strike today. I am sort of Zen about the whole thing for now. Like, OK, there's enough in the can to get me through sweeps and they always show a million reruns in December anyway. And reality shows are safe and two of the best--Amazing Race and Project Runway--are just starting. So I think it will be OK for a little while, but I will be TICKED if it goes on for too long. Really, seriously ticked. There are only so many episodes of Deal or No Deal this country can handle.

* On Friday, one of my favoritest magazine issues ever comes out--People's Sexiest Man Alive issue. In honor of that, People has a Guess the Chest quiz on its website. It's exactly what it sounds like: You have to guess which male hottie's chest you're looking at it, although it is MUCH harder than you might think. Still, I am very (irrationally, pathetically) happy to tell you I got seven out of eight correct. If I know anything, it's beefcake beach bums.

Aaaaand, on that note ... happy Monday, everyone!


At 8:44 AM, Blogger Melek said...

i heard about Lance this weekend, and, living in Austin, it was pretty big news to me since he's all over the place here. i told some friends and none of them believed me. now i'll just have to send them to your blog for the REAL Story. the real sickening story. totally gross.

and did Milla really name her baby girl "Ever"...seriously? maybe it means something in her culture...isn't she russian or czech something?

did katie holmes REALLY run the marathon, or was she just trying to run away from Tom? man, she's changed since she married him. she used to be so adorable, and now she's all sportin the mom's haircut. She doesn't wear cute stuff anymore. it's sad.

At 9:10 AM, Blogger kay said...

hey mel lay off the mom haircut! not that i have one. :)

PROJECT RUNWAY!! when? love that show. makes me want to pull out a sewing machine and whip me up some new duds!!

oh and ditto on the lance/ashley thing. *shudder*

At 9:50 AM, Blogger Rob said...

I must be the only one NOT grossed out about "Lanshley" Is 15 years age difference really such a horrible, horrible age difference?

I guess it must be based on the way everyone is acting but I genuinely don't see the issue. If two *adults* are happy together what's the deal?

I'll just add that to the list of things I don't get about you humans. :)

PS- You guys seem to be OK with TomKat and there is a 16 year age difference there. Why is TomKat OK and Lanshley gross?

At 10:04 AM, Blogger cubmommy said...

I am so excited to get my People magazine Friday in mail!!!!

It is not just that Ashley Olsen is young it is that she is alien looking. Gross.

Ever is very strange name. Don't think I EVER hear that name before.

I look forward to one show The Office. They better resolve the strike soon. That is the only thing I look forward to.

At 10:08 AM, Blogger cubmommy said...

Just took the chest quiz and I got 8 out of 8. Oh Yeah! I know hot chests!

At 10:40 AM, Blogger kay said...

i am totally not ok with tomkat! i think they are a wreck together. and he is so gross. yuck.

i don't think it's the age difference that bothers me. i think it's just that i don't like either of them (lance and ashley)and together i like them even less.

At 10:45 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

I didn't even know Katie was a runner. I'm surprised Tom let her out of his sight for 26.2 miles.

That kid Ever is going to get so picked on. And beat up.

At 10:58 AM, Blogger Stephanie said...

I got 5 out of 8 on Guess the Chest. I am really dissapointed with myself. I thought I'd do so much better.

How did I get Zach Efron's wrong?

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Tanya said...

When you first said Hot Chests I thought it would be referring to females. Shows you how much I know.

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

OK, the age difference is not a big deal by itself, but Ashley looks like she is 12!!!

At 12:39 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

If it were not for your updates, I would never know the scoop on celebrity gossip/news. :)

At 12:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what was it that was harder than you think? Guessing the chests, or the chests themselves? LOL

And yeah, I hear you on the Ashley thing...Lance looks old enough to be her dad. GAAA

At 3:10 PM, Blogger Beth said...

uh, ya, Lance and the twin thing is SO GROSS!!! I just don't see what ANT man sees in either one of them?! They have NO meat on their bones! You'd get all kinds of bruises from having sex with them. yuk.

And I kinda like Ever...but Gabo? WTH? What ever happened to Normal names...like Swishy? ;)

and Katie holmes just had her batteries re-charged, so she was ready to go...poor little robot girl.

At 3:26 PM, Anonymous Melissa said...

I was pretty skeeved about the Lance/Ashley thing too. Just seems wrong.

And I was SO happy Ari and Staella got eliminated from Amazing Race. After the taxi-stealing and donkey-mistreating...jerks.

At 7:14 PM, Blogger Patti said...

i just got cable, and they strike?! figures...

At 10:43 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

OK, I wish you could here me laughing cuz it's like I try to be quiet cuz everyone in the Manic house is asleep but then I can't help myself and I bust out laughing hysterically!

Lance and an Olson twin. That's like what's her face... shit, what's her name, she dates that old guy--WTF! I am getting so old I cannot even bring these people's names into my brain. I can SEE them! Really! But I can't figure out who they are... WAIT! I think she has a kid named Liam... is that right? And she's really skinny and was in that show... SHIT! CANNOT REMEMBER! Does her name begin with an F? Not Felicity--am I warm? ANd the old guy is NOT Nick Nolte, but he's ... OH YES!!! HARRISON FORD!

OK, so you just experienced first-hand what my brain really does sound like when it's thinking... but I still don't know her name...


OK, and I am further screwed because for the life of me, I cannot figure out this word verification.

At 10:43 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Yep, I didn't know the first word verification so it had to give me a new one.



At 11:39 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Calista Flockhart! Ha ha ha ha.


At 12:25 AM, Blogger Senor Beavis said...

Does everyone with a LiveStrong bracelet now have to make out with a 21-year-old that looks 14? Because that would be hilarious! :) Yeah, that is freak-nasty!

Is Milla Jovovich's baby daddy Paul Anderson as in Paul Thomas Anderson, or different fellow?

At 7:50 AM, Blogger Moanna said...

Ok, I definitely need help 'cause reading IM ME TOMORROW I was thinking, well who else would Swishy be tomorrow?? Swear to God, that's the first thought outta my brain. And the day's just begun...

Oh I almost forgot what I was going to say: imagine how what's her name, the singer who used to be engaged to Lance, is feeling over the twin? What is her name. Sheryl Crow. Thank you Wikipedia.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Rob said...

Oh Beth! Rowwr! Ffffft fffft! LOL it cracked me up though!

At 3:23 PM, Blogger Andie said...

I got 6/8! HA!

glad you're doing ok!

I was secretly hoping they'd have my man's chest on that list. I wonder if he'll be listed in the sexiest men alive?

At 11:11 AM, Blogger Colorado Writer said...

If I ran the NY Marathon, I'd still be walking it with a stitch in my side.

And Lance Armstrong is gross.

Tom Cruise. Hmmm. Was he ever really hot again after Top Gun?

At 12:33 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Last night, out of the blue, I yell to my family:


It took me like 24 hours to bring that one up to the front of my brain!


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