Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Random, schmandom

So my parents called me like 10 times tonight and I was like, holy crap, who died? I seriously did think someone had died. So I called back and it turns out, I was ALMOST right. My dad wanted to tell me they did a new will and I'm the executor and here's what everyone gets in case they die and please don't let Stephanie (my little sister) spend it on that piece-of-shit boyfriend and please make sure Marc (my little brother) finishes college.

I KNOW! MORBID!!! And they wonder where I get my neuroses.

OK, seriously, no one is dying. No one is close to dying. My dad isn't even retired yet. This is just my parents deciding to be prepared. And, you know, trying to freak me out. So I responded by asking my dad if he had any special requests for his funeral. His answer: "What the hell do I care? I'll be dead!"

Ahhhh. This story explains so much about me, you have no idea.

Other quick bites of randomy goodness:

* I had to shut all the windows and wrap myself up in a blanket because it was FREEZING in my apartment when I got home. And by freezing, I mean the thermostat read 69 degrees. That alone should tell you how much I'm looking forward to winter.

* My back hurts. My neck hurts. Even my calves hurt. I want a massage soooo bad.

* They don't hurt because I've been working out, though. Ohhhh, no. I have been the biggest workout slacker who ever slacked lately. I used to never skip, and now all I DO is skip. Skip, skip, skip. And not to my lou. To my loo, maybe (after detouring to the fridge), but not to my lou.

* I think something in my freezer smells, but I have no idea what and I'm not really inclined to find out.

* Wait ... how does frozen stuff smell? Doesn't the fact that it's frozen ...?

Never mind. I should just go to bed.

30 Comments:

At 2:30 AM, Blogger Drewpy Drew said...

All you have to do is skip skipping your workout. By skipping that, you aren't really skipping.

Get it? Never mind, just skip it.

 
At 5:40 AM, Blogger simonsays said...

Ah....you make me laugh. And I need a good laugh now and then. And I hate that funeral/planning for the future bullshit, too, and my mother certainly is waaaaay older than yours, considering I am old enough to be YOUR mother, so it probably is a good idea that I at least listen to mine. teehee. And yes, you should probably start skipping TO your workout, you would feel better. Have a great weekend, Swishy!

 
At 6:07 AM, Blogger michelle said...

my dad (he is 81, so he tends toward the morbid on this subject) is a worrier, and lately he worries about all the "stuff" he and mom have and all the work that it will take for me to get rid of it when they're gone ... because selling a couple of sofas will be the most awful thing happening to me at that point. i threatened to bury him in a coffin with pink satin lining and glitter if he didn't smarten up and stop worrying about such silly things. :)

 
At 7:05 AM, Blogger kay said...

well at least your dad gave you
THE POWER!!!

now you can hold it over your sibling's heads. always fun! :)

 
At 7:06 AM, Blogger Beth said...

all my MIL talks about is her death! ALL the time...ya, just a little morbid. But I guess it's smart to be prepared...I hate funerals and don't want one for myself...

I think I remember you saying you met nate, but I'm a mush head so you'll have to tell me again! HE IS SO CUTE!!! Why are all the cute ones gay?!! I would love to meet him!

 
At 7:37 AM, Blogger Jenster said...

Swishy, Swishy, Swishy. You make me giggle like a 12-year-old girl at a sleepover and double feature showing of Hair Spray and High School Musical 2. So yeah. That's a lot of giggling.

Your dad sounds a bit like mine. I feel I have a much better understanding of you now. :o)

Skip to my loo. BWAHAHAHA!!!

 
At 7:40 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

I cracked up at skipping to your loo too. Very good stuff.

Your dad is funny - and totally right. The funeral isn't for the deceased, it's to comfort those left behind... So do what you want there.

Michelle's comment was funny. Pink satin with glitters. Ha!

 
At 9:34 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

Skipping to The Lou? With Nelly?

I've kinda kept my windows open even though it is COLD because I don't want it to be time to be winter. Boo.

But I do realize I love sleeping where I can actually USE the blankets. Novel idea.

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger The Franchise said...

On the plus side you can start calling yourself..."The Executor." Sounds like a cool nickname. Always look at the positives

 
At 11:47 AM, Blogger Andie said...

you know, my parents mentioned something similar to me the other day.

It's morbid, but it's necessary. So sad though. I don't want to think of my parents passing away.

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger Tanya said...

I get to execute, too. Plus, I get to care for my siblings. But my parents will live forever.

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Eileen said...

You are so funny, you do make me laugh out loud. I would have though someone had died too with all those calls!! Your dad is funny too, after being so specific with you, then, "what the hell do I care." Parents, you gotta love them.
I know what you mean about working out. I can't seem to get myself to the treadmill, much less to the gym. I set such a simple goal for myself for this week, 3 times on the treadmill for 30 mins. and I didn't even do that. Too nice, staying wrapped up in fluffy blanket, staying warm.
Have a good weekend, and thanks for the smile.

 
At 2:38 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

Usually skipping is not involved when heading to the loo... :)

Oddly, my mom refuses to talk about her death... I don't have a clue if she's prepared or if I'm going to have to figure it all out when she's gone.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

My mom took me to her lawyer and had me sign the papers for her estate and all th eother "legal" things I would have the power to do. I couldn't stop cracking jokes and I had a black dress on..The lawyer asked her four times If I was really her choice out of the offspring..

That was a long time ago, I'm not sure if I'm still in charge. I don't have to read the instructions until that day ya know?

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Scribe LA said...

Swishy! I've started the Couch to 5k podcast... actually fun! I'm sooo jealous you get to run in Central Park whenever you want. The reservoir is one of my favorite runs.
-Scribe

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Trish said...

Ohhh morbid. But when parents die you can never really be prepared for how the rest of your family will react...sooo it's probably good to get your parents to speak up about what they want before they, you know...die. Which I hope won't be for a very long time. Very long.

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger Patti said...

executrixes unite! i am my mothers and while she doesn't have much to speak of i already envision a few siblings fighting over the disney doll bells. yeah, you read that right.

i asked her last week what she wanted medically and she said "pull the plug. i'm done."

gaaaa...she's only 70...what the hell?!

aren't we fun....

 
At 8:49 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Skip to my loo. YOU make me laugh.

I have not been working out either, and that is making Manic Mommy more maniacal.

THANK GOD I got my IM back up!

 
At 4:33 AM, Blogger Cecily R said...

Gracie and I skip to our lou. Can that count as skipping and a workout too?

I've wondered the same thing about stinky frozen stuff. How does that happen?

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Angela WD said...

Ugh, my mom did the will discussion with me, too. And she also showed me a funeral planning document she'd filled out. Where she wants it, what music should be played, etc. I think I've stored it somewhere. I hope I won't be the one in charge.

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger Eileen said...

My dad is a die hard republican. When I feel the need to taunt him I tell him I'm going to bury him in a Hillary Clinton t-shirt.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Moanna said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger Moanna said...

Dunno about the stinky frozen stuff. Maybe check under the freezer for a dead snake or something. :)

 
At 8:49 PM, Blogger cubmommy said...

My Mom just had to do that stuff with my grandparents. Morbid stuff indeed.

I sooo could use a massage also. Carrying kids around all the time my back is whack.

Exercise? What is that?

 
At 10:18 PM, Blogger Sara Hantz said...

Now I can't get that song out of my head.... loo, loo, skip to my loo.....

Your dad is toooo funny!!

 
At 1:21 AM, Blogger KATE said...

I LOVE the "what the hell do I care, I'll be dead!" that is fabulous! I seriously always laugh at your posts! & I love your random schmandom. I hear ya about the damn frozen food thing. Why in the crap would a freezer smell? I have the same problem at my house!!
Love it - Kate

 
At 11:10 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Checkin in with my BBFF!!!

xoxoxoxo

 
At 1:51 AM, Anonymous ~SpaceFairy~ said...

Heya Swishy,
Just writing to say that I found your blog today and it's great! You rock :)

- SpaceFairy xo

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Shellie said...

I have stinky freezer syndrome too. Maybe smells waft up from the fridge?

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Rob said...

>>"On the plus side you can start calling yourself..."The Executor." <<

Yeah! Do it with an Austrian accent too! Do you have a leather jacket and sunglasses? Perfect!
"Sarah Connah, come wit me if you want to inherit"

 

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