Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Just a few random things

* Great news! This marks the first of, oh, about 749 references I plan to make in the next four months to how much I hate the cold! Can you think of a more riveting topic? I am seriously obsessed with it, though. Every year, I am completely in denial about cold weather coming. I feel like if I continue to wear sandals and act as though I don't own a coat, it will scare winter back into submission. And sadly, it never works. It just makes me colder, because I'm the idiot standing outside in 47-degree weather without a coat. Like I was today.

Anyway, part of my denial includes refusing to turn on the heat until November. I came home from work today and it was 68 degrees in my apartment and I swear to you, I huddled up on the couch with a huge blanket and basically acted like I was living in a third world country the rest of the night. Because it was SIXTY-EIGHT degrees! It is soooo gonna be a long winter.

* So the other day I was getting into my car to go to work and I hear this noise. I look up, and see this guy hocking SNOT over his BALCONY! Like, holding the one nostril and blowing out the other off the side of his balcony. Nothing says "good morning" like snot shooting from the sky. I was completely grossed out. I DO NOT LIVE IN A FRAT HOUSE! This guy was like in his 50s. It was totally disgusting.

* I had to cancel a dentist appointment last week because I was too busy to get away from work, and I hadn't rescheduled yet. So what do they do? They send me a text message to remind me to make a new appointment! A text message! My dentist! It was sort of disconcerting. I mean, I consider cable TV on the wall to be very progressive for a dentist. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the whole text messaging thing. Next thing you know, he'll be friending patients on MySpace and Facebook.

* I am quickly becoming the queen of the late-night Oprah rerun. Heidi Klum is on right now, looking gorgeous, of course ... but can you believe what she says about Seal?!? HA! She basically tells everyone what a big package he has! I died when I saw that. Because, you know, Oprah is on later where I am, but in some places it's on at 9 a.m.! Can you imagine sitting there with your coffee, Cheerios dribbling down your chin, kids running around, hearing about Seal's enormous package? I can't believe she put it out there on Oprah. But you know, good for her. As I'm sure it is. Ha.

* So you remember when I asked for jokes? Well, they ALL made me laugh, so if you want a little prize, send me an email with your address and I'll send one to you. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but soon. Ish.

Happy Friday, everyone! Have a good weekend!


At 8:31 AM, Blogger Jenster said...

I love the cold! I didn't used to love it, but menopause and hot flashes will do that to you.

Actually, I don't like to be cold, but I don't like to be hot, either. So if it's cold I can snuggle in a blanket or sweatshirt or whatever and I LOVE that.

The snot on the balcony thing is so wrong. Didn't his mama ever teach him any manners??

Text messages from the dentist?? How very 1984.

Oprah is on at 4:00 here and my daughter watches it sometimes. I wonder if she knows what "a package" is. I'm pretty sure she could figure it out. Oh well. Oprah is educational, I guess.

At 9:23 AM, Blogger Melek said...

the cold sucks. once it drops below 80 degrees i bring out the long sleeves. i like it when it's 95 or so, suits me just fine. that's why i moved to TX, to escape the horrible rainy cold winters in VA. yuk. But my dog loves it and insists on being outside as much as possible.

the snot thing is really disgusting. i'm hoping he only did it bc the thought nobody was around...not that that makes things any better. get a tissue for pete's sake.

At 9:44 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

OMG, that is disgusting!

I hate this time of year because 50s should still be OK to wear a light coat. And flip flops. Why is it not?

At least in winter it doesn't matter what coat you wear. You're just going to be cold.

At 10:15 AM, Blogger Karen said...

I'm a furnace whore. I've had ours on three times already. The other night I cranked it up to 75 because my feet were so cold they ached. I love fall. And I like winter until Jan. 2.

We refer to the snot thing as the "farmer's wipe." I grew up in a farm family so it's not a vocational slur when I say it. That doesn't make it acceptable though.

My friend's dentist sends happy birthday text messages to her and her husband. Just because someone scrapes my teeth and pokes my gums doesn't mean we're friends.

At 10:17 AM, Blogger Patti said...

say it's snot so! ewwww, snot funny....

At 10:18 AM, Blogger kim said...

I think Oprah wants to send Steadman to Seal boot camp for how to treat a woman. I loved her face and her questions -- the more Seal talked, I swear you could see her thinking Steadman sucks.

Or maybe I was just projecting my Rich stuff...

"Happy wife, happy life" -- learn it.

At 10:42 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

I saw that part of Oprah too. I Tivo Oprah, not because I watch it daily, but because I ALWAYS miss out when I read things about a particular show and I didn't see it. My daughter loves Oprah and watches it almost daily, so I hear tidbits of it while I'm preparing dinner. Last night I heard Heidi talking about Seal in those bike shorts. Funny.

I. Hate. The. Cold. Too. Which is unfortunate, because Iowa isn't very warm in the winter.

At 11:02 AM, Blogger kay said...

i love the cold too! can't wait to pull out the jackets and cool scarves!

At 11:35 AM, Blogger kerri said...

First of all- the snot blower!!! How gross. So sorry that was how you were welcomed into a new day-

And secondly, I also saw the Oprah show where not only did Heidi comment on Seal's package, but marks seeing him/that as when she knew "this was it". Hm.

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Moanna said...

A snot blower off a balcony?? Good grief. Only thing that comes close to that for me is having bird droppings land on my forehead while walking to my car. Splat. But somehow snot is worse! It's germs not just waste matter. Yucky.

At 2:32 PM, Blogger Cecily R said...

I love the random-ness that is Swishy!

I hate artificial heat (it gives me headaches), but Evie's slobber is starting to freeze so I have to deal with it. I love sweater weather.

Jon would have puked on snot rocket guy. He says he'd rather be peed on than deal with the kids' snot.

At 2:53 PM, Blogger Chrissy said...

guy hocking SNOT over his BALCONY! Like, holding the one nostril and blowing out the other off the side of his balcony.

Thanks for that mental image. So gross. So sorry you actually had to see that!

Happy Friday to you too!

At 6:03 PM, Blogger KATE said...

The snot thing, is called a Farmer Blow. Nice huh? My husband informed me of that.
Yum Yum!

At 8:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Nothing says 'good morning' like snot shooting from the sky."

This made me laugh out loud, and on my own personal worst-day-in-recent-memory, too! A sincere thank you for that, if not the mental image. (It's also known as a "snot rocket", I believe.)

At 10:42 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Yo BBFF ever and ever!!! I went and had some garlic fries at our little spot G&B today... guess who was my waitress...

THE SAME GIRL THAT WAS OUR WAITRESS, AND THE SAME GIRL WHO WAS MY WAITRESS THE OTHER TIME I WENT!! I reminded her how you and I were there that time. Think she remembered? haha

Her name is Grace. I thought of you today, and don't be jealous, we ate OUTSIDE since it was so beautiful in Chicago today. See, can you move here?

And what about the 17th? You in?

xoxoxoxo We'll IM later this weekend!!!

At 3:02 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Anon! I hope you are having a better day today!

At 10:35 PM, Blogger Bianca Reagan said...

Does your dentist have an office in Second Life? If so, does Dwight ever drop by?

At 12:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh my, text messaging dentist?!? What is next? That is just CRAZY

At 1:06 PM, Blogger icanseeclearlynow said...

ok that is sooo funny! huddling with the blanket, denying the arrival of cold weather.

yuck! blowing snot through a nostril is the MOST disgusting habit ever. people that do it should be banished.

seal's package...hmmm. i must of missed that part. i liked learning about his foster family.

later gator.



At 12:03 PM, Blogger Tanya said...

snot=gross. I dare you to leave a box of tissues on his doorstep as a present or even some of that special TP Manic sent you.

Cold is bad. Although lately I haven't been cold like I usually am. I'm really starting to get worried about myself.

We managed to avoid turning on the heater till this morning. To "keep warm" we would light candles in our bedroom and cuddle. :D

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Well, I try not to complain about the weather, because there isn't a darn thing I can do about it. And I live in Wisconsin, which I love, except for during February and March when it totally sucks. So I can totally relate to hating the cold. Me thinks you should be wearing a coat and putting on your heat earlier. All the cool kids are doing it!

Just stopping by to say hello. Love your posts as always! HUGS!

At 2:41 PM, Blogger Rob said...

"I feel like if I continue to wear sandals and act as though I don't own a coat, it will scare winter back into submission."

I totally LOVE that line. I love it so much I am going to steal it.

You were warned!


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