Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Hit me baby, one more time

OK, I have to make this kind of quick, but ...

Ohhhhh, Britney.

What a train wreck.

This is the main thing I want to know: Doesn't that girl have any friends? Isn't there ANYONE around her who will step in and stop her from making herself look bad?

I could hardly even watch it. I mean, seriously, I was cringing. The bad extensions. The horrible lip synching. The oh-so-unflattering outfit. The pink body makeup. The near-stumbling. The fact that she appeared to be, oh, DRUNK the whole time. I flipped it on at work, and it was so sad we couldn't even bring ourselves to make fun of her.

Which is why I thought Sarah Silverman was pretty bitchy when she got up there after the performance. I only caught part of it because I was working on something, but did she really make fun of Britney's KIDS? Like, Britney practically just hammered the final nail in the coffin of her career in front of a national live audience, and you want to make fun of her drooling toddlers? That is MEAN! Like I said, I didn't catch the whole thing so maybe I heard wrong, but given the fact that Ms. Silverman was not exactly sugar and spice and everything nice to your friend Swishy once upon a time, I believe it.

Anyway, poor Britney. I blame Justin. If they had never broken up, Britney never would have run off to Vegas with the non-bald Jason Alexander and gotten an annulment and made out with Madonna and married K-Fed and on and on. It ALL comes back to Justin. Well, Justin, what goes around comes around, and that doesn't just apply to Elisha Cuthbert.*

Ohhhh, Britney.

It's a sad, sad night.


* (Did you guys know that? He wrote that song about Jack Bauer's daughter, who cheated on his best friend. True story.)

31 Comments:

At 11:59 PM, Blogger JODI said...

I was thinking to myself I think I'll see what Manic's up, saw Swishy onthe side bar and then thought wonder what crazy cop loving Swish is up too...oh my gosh we are both dogging on T & A Brit's VMA performance. I went back to watch it again and feel the same thing I felt the first time--just don't have the teenage girls in the room to beat her up a second time. I didn't think she was drunk, just dead in spirit.

 
At 7:10 AM, Blogger imkay said...

oh my gosh i totally agree. i took the remote from my DH just to watch her and he said is she on drugs? it was sooo sad. why would someone let her go out with that hair!!! don't they have hair and makeup people!! and did you see the audience? they were as shocked as the rest of us. poor brittany.

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger Mel said...

i was so embarrassed for her. i mean, there are lots of sexy outfits you can wear that WONT emphasize your not-quite-as-taught-as-it-used-to-be tummy. sigh. she's headed down fast fast, and it's sad bc i used to like her.

 
At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

Dude, she was a train. Wreck.

The outfit, the non-lip synching (um, Brit-Brit, you need to actually MOVE your lips), the "dancing". ALL BAD.

She had to be on something. And I also heard she was out super late partying the night before.

I don't blame Justin! He got out before the crazy! He's smart!

And was just awesome at the end of the show. Love him.

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger Patti said...

it was disturbing. i felt for the girl. is this as low as it goes? man, i hope so...

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger cubmommy said...

It was so sad and horrible. Britney needs to stop making decisions because she doesn't know what she is doing. She definitely needs to hire handlers to help her out.

The outfit was so wrong. Not a flattering outfit.

Sarah Silverman was pretty mean. She did make fun of Britney's kids in a way. Say all you want about Britney she is an adult but her kids did not ask to have that kind of treatment. I feel bad for them.

Justin is kind of an a$$. She would have been better off not being with him at all.

Was it me or did that whole show suck? I only watched part of it and had to turn it off it was so bad.

 
At 10:28 AM, Blogger Tanya said...

I wonder if her dance is up on youtube. I feel like its a trainwreck, I have to see.

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger Beth said...

I caaalled my girl in Raleigh and we watched it it together, over the phone. WHAT A MESS!!! I don't feel so bad about my stomach anymore, that's for sure.

It's really sad, and I feel bad for her. I don't WANT to feel bad, cuz she brought all this on herself, but her poor kids.

Someone just give her a job in their titty bar and get ot over...she wants to be a stripper soooo bad...and the reaction from the audience was priceless. I would have loved to have seen Justin's face!

She used to be so cute. Never a good singer, but she could perform. soooo sad....

 
At 11:22 AM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

She did look like she was zoned out on some sort of anti-depressants or something (which is probably good...she'll need them). It wasn't even like she was trying too hard; more like she didn't quite know where she was, or why all these people were staring at her...

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

It was so sad. sigh.

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

I am a loser because I missed her performance. Oh wait, maybe I'm not a loser, but sounds like SHE IS!

And what's the story with this Silverman chick--is her brother Jonathon Silverman, and wasn't he an actor once long ago; what was he in, what is SHE in, and I know Swish has the answers to all of this, and how was she mean to my Swishster!!!

And did you write today? I did, and will again tomorrow by God!

 
At 4:04 PM, Blogger Andie said...

I'm so embarassed that Britney Spears is from Louisiana.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

OK, reading all the stuff today ... I feel SO BAD for her. Poor girl.

OK, Manic, I don't think they're related. Jonathan Silverman was in Weekend at Bernie's and had a show on NBC. Sarah Silverman has a show on Comedy Central and is dating Jimmy Kimmel. Her thing is that she's way too cool for everything, which is fine, except that it's not an act! She really does think she's too cool for everything, which is like ... whatever.

 
At 6:04 PM, Blogger XYZinn said...

Oh, that was sooo sad. And why did she have to wear that trashy bikini thing ? Why didn't someone tell her it didn't look good? I just don't get it. She has millions of dollars and she can't hire a freakin' stylist...an HONEST one!! I really do just feel bad for her.

 
At 6:07 PM, Blogger XYZinn said...

PS I hate Sarah Silverman. I think she is a major dork and is just gross and dirty.

 
At 10:27 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Ok Swish, this is totally going to bother me cuz I'm convinced they are related. BUt I looked on Wiki and IMBD and she was born in Mass., he was born in LA. so someone find out if Jonathon and Sarah Silverman are related. I think they are. They look EXACTLY alike!

 
At 11:57 PM, Blogger Mel said...

On Sarah Silverman:
Has three sisters: Susan Silverman, a feminist rabbi (and co-author, with husband Yosef Abramowitz, of the book 'Jewish Family & Life: Traditions, Holidays, and Values for Today's Parents and Children'); Laura Silverman, an actress; and Jody Silverman, a screenwriter.

that's all i could find family-wise on Sarah. for johnathan, it didnt say anything about siblings that i could find....

i hope they're not related. he seems too sweet. her jokes are all so dirty and mean....

 
At 12:49 AM, Blogger Drew Blackstone said...

Don't blame Justin (as in: got out Justin time). It's all about personal accountability. You reap what you sew and all that. It's a shame that those around her that are pretending to be her friends are more interested in what they can get from her than in how they can help her. It's very sad.

 
At 6:48 AM, Blogger michelle said...

it was sad but not shocking ... it was either going to be awful or kickass ... she had the opportunity to come back with a vengence and she blew it. however ... i did enjoy the "it's britney, bitch" part ... i now plan on answering my phone with "it's michelle, bitch". :)

 
At 9:26 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

I missed the show. I'm so lame. But of course I read about it yesterday in my daily celebrity gossip website visits.

I feel bad for her, but she did bring it on herself. Who knew I'd be thinking K-Fed is the more mature parent? He was home throwing a birthday party for those cute little boys while mom was in Vegas having a career meltdown.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger JODI said...

For all you folks who missed Brit's performance check her out here...
http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1568788&vid=173440

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

I still have not seen it, but as soon as I get the chance (when I'm not at work), I fully plan to. I just have to see this! I will probably feel sorry for her while making bad jokes.

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Golightly said...

Holey moley - I had no idea that song was about Elisha. WOWSA. Yep - Sarah Silverman = meanie! I seriously think Brit's heart is no longer in this and she should just consider quitting and living off her perfume sales

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

I didn't watch the debacle, but I have no trouble believing Sarah Silverman was less than nice. I don't like her, can't remember ever liking her. She's so rude and not very funny, IMO.

But I want to hear your story here!! I'm off to read the other comments to try and glean a little backstory!!

 
At 8:34 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

Yeah, Manic. I always thought they were related, too. But I guess not.

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

OK, maybe I am just a cynic, but I don't think it was a coincidence that K-Fed planned to do Daddy of the Year duty during the VMAs ... I think he knew EXACTLY what he was doing!

 
At 10:18 PM, Blogger Moanna said...

Sarah Silverman was cruel. I was wishing Britney would walk out on stage and slug her.

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

I feel bad for her.
I think she needs a good long break -- she won't get one ... but I think that's what she needs. (not to mention a good shrink!)

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger Bianca Reagan said...

michelle, I love that part, too! It makes me giggle.

swishy, I thought Justin's "What Goes Around" was about Britney. I didn't even know he had been with Elisha. I can't keep up with which boxes his dick has been in. Yeah, I said it.

 
At 1:34 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

HA!!! I think Cry Me a River is Britney, What Goes Around is Elisha.

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger JODI said...

Get over to YouTube and check out "Britney Spears Fan Cries"...finally someone on Brit's side. It's a doozy,this tribute of loyalty!

 

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