Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Dear Kiefer



I usually call you Jack Bauer, but just this once, I will call you Kiefer. This is my favorite picture of you, Kiefer. It makes me want to wrap you up in a CTU blanket and cuddle all the angst right out of you. I even think your feet are cute in this picture. In fact, I think your feet are the cutest part of all, and not just because I'm a Pisces and we like feet. I look at those feet, and I think, Oh, Kiefer! I just want to throw you on the couch and rub those cute little feet and tell you not to worry about a thing.

By the way, did you know I like to sit on counters, too? I do! I sit on the bathroom counter every single morning while I get ready. Only sometimes there's not enough room for my feet on the counter, so I put them in the sink.

But wait! This isn't about me, Kiefer, this is about you! I heard the news this morning. I'm worried about you, Kiefer, and not just because Jack Bauer can't save the world if he's shitfaced and getting hauled in by the cops. And not because you're going to have to spend four days (translation: two hours) in the clink now, either.

I'm worried because you're a little bit of a lost soul, Kiefer. A lost soul that I'd like to find. I think it's time for an intervention. And I am just the girl to give it to you.

I mean ... really. Christmas is just a few months away. Think of the trees.



Love and lots of future kisses,
Swishy

22 Comments:

At 7:12 AM, Blogger imkay said...

how upsetting. i have loved him since i saw him in stand by me. then lost boys. oh my oh my.

poor kiefer

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger Patti said...

i have loved that video since i fisrt saw it...but now i am saddened that my kiefer is in trouble, and i don't mean with the law. we. must. help. jack, um kiefer.

 
At 10:18 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

1) He's 40?? I didn't think he was that old.

2) I can't handle the feet on the counter. Germs! Because I am a Virgo. And we are anal.

 
At 12:34 PM, Blogger Travis Erwin said...

If you need any help straightening him out I'm sure my wife will volunteer.

 
At 1:00 PM, Blogger Shauna said...

A little Swishy-love cures all. ;-)

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger Chrissy said...

I still do not get why celebrities do not use drivers (or call a cab)when they are drunk.

I have seen that video so many times and it still cracks me up!

 
At 2:19 PM, Anonymous crazed said...

Funniest blog!!! You crack me up!!I think you need to work with the PR rep from 24... There has to be some connection you can make for your column!

 
At 4:23 PM, Anonymous angelawd said...

Oh Kiefer. I'm so disappointed. Just like imkay, I have loved him since Stand By Me and Lost Boys - I've worn out the VCR tape on his parts of those movies. And now this! Was the u-turn really necessary?

Oh, and thanks for the Kiefer photo. Yummy.

 
At 6:27 PM, Blogger Cecily R said...

My dad was in an early movie of KS's (87 I think). It was called Promised Land. When he did it I was young and not allowed to see it because the movie was rated R.

When Jon and I got married we rented it. It was terrible. But just because my dad said he was a nice kid (you know, back then he was a kid), I've always liked him.

I think that might be why my pops is so obsessed with 24!

 
At 7:34 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong.. I quit sitting on bathroom counters when I hit my twenties..
I totally put my feet in the sink too. Lately I just lean in till I have a big red mark on my body.

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

Don't fret, Swishy. He's no Britney or Lindsey. He'll bounce back. At least I hope so. He's so talented. Great photo, too.

 
At 9:52 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

He so needs you.

 
At 11:03 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

If Keifer knew you, he would so be in love with you.

 
At 11:47 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Awwwww Manic ... I love you :)

 
At 12:40 AM, Blogger KATE said...

You are so funny! I think you should cuddle the angst right out of Jack Bauer too! I do love 24 & Jack Bauer & I'm sorry poor Kiefer is in trouble!
I hope one day you can meet your cute boyfriend!
- Kate

 
At 3:54 AM, Blogger Drew Blackstone said...

Once again the old school in me comes out. I just can't get past how much he looks like his dad.

It's the same reason Angelina doesn't do anything for me. I always see john Voight.

 
At 6:52 AM, Blogger Beth said...

No! Not FEET!!! and on the COUNTER?!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! But he is kinda cute...and he would bloom like a flower if he had YOU in his life Swishy!!

 
At 8:06 AM, Blogger Moanna said...

I think if Jack saw your posting, he'd fall in love. Wonder if there's someone who'd send it to him, agent perhaps? Maybe use your CIA techniques to figure out a way. Go Swishy!

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger kim said...

Love that sink-o-kiefer pic. I used to have a thing for him. What movie was it where he was wearing overalls and no shirt -- really farm boy vulnerable. I was there for him.

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Monnik said...

Am I the only one on the planet who hasn't seen 24?

I think so. But I can't deal with the commitment of another show that doesn't wrap up it's story line at least a little between each week.

 
At 10:35 PM, Blogger Senor Beavis said...

Well it's about time you finally admitted that foot fetish. Honestly is the best policy and we're all friends here.

 
At 12:45 AM, Blogger Samara Leigh said...

I was sad to see yet another celeb running into trouble. Hope he works it all out.

 

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