So how was your Labor Day weekend? Good? Good. Do anything fun? Yeah? Me too ... like, for example, I ALMOST GOT KILLED.
OK. It is entirely possible that my imagination is on overdrive because I just happened to be catching up on the first season of Dexter this weekend. Which, as a side note, creeps me the hell out but is an AWESOME show. I kinda think Michael C. Hall is hot in it, though, and I really just don't know what to do with that. I mean, I really don't. HE PLAYS A FREAKING SERIAL KILLER! And yet ...
All right. End of tangent. So I take my computer to the park to work. I drive around and pick sort of an isolated spot, you know, so some screaming kid won't run by and fall on my laptop. I spread out my blanket and dig into my Oreo Blizzard and start typing away. So far, so good. A car of guys drives by and honks, and my self-esteem is sufficiently boosted. And then ANOTHER car drives by, with two guys in it, and the one in the passenger seat is creepy. Seriously, seriously creepy. He's, like, falling out of the window staring at me. But then they disappear, and I shake off the shivers and go back to my computer.
But then--THEN!--five minutes or so later, the car comes back. And parks right next to my car. And the guys get out of their car and just stand there, staring at me. And there's no one else very close by and it's REALLY freaking me out. So I get on the phone and wait for them to leave, but they don't. They're just standing there, staring. For like 10 minutes. They're a weird pair, too--one's like a younger skinhead and the other totally looks like a middle-aged pedophile, and I'm convinced they met in jail or some messed-up halfway house. And then this other car pulls up, and a kid gets out, and the two creepy guys jump back in their car. Which CONVINCES me that they just got out of jail and are looking for fresh prey and this kid who just showed up is a monkey wrench in their plans. So I'm like, I'm outta here. I pack up all my stuff and hustle to my car, keeping the phone held up to my ear the whole time so they know I could scream into it if I had to. I pull out and then ...
The pedophile guy starts waving at me! Not a regular wave ... a slow-motion, scary movie wave. AND THEN HE STARTS FONDLING HIMSELF!!!
I am SO never going back to that part of the park again.