Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Creepy McCreeperson

So how was your Labor Day weekend? Good? Good. Do anything fun? Yeah? Me too ... like, for example, I ALMOST GOT KILLED.

OK. It is entirely possible that my imagination is on overdrive because I just happened to be catching up on the first season of Dexter this weekend. Which, as a side note, creeps me the hell out but is an AWESOME show. I kinda think Michael C. Hall is hot in it, though, and I really just don't know what to do with that. I mean, I really don't. HE PLAYS A FREAKING SERIAL KILLER! And yet ...

All right. End of tangent. So I take my computer to the park to work. I drive around and pick sort of an isolated spot, you know, so some screaming kid won't run by and fall on my laptop. I spread out my blanket and dig into my Oreo Blizzard and start typing away. So far, so good. A car of guys drives by and honks, and my self-esteem is sufficiently boosted. And then ANOTHER car drives by, with two guys in it, and the one in the passenger seat is creepy. Seriously, seriously creepy. He's, like, falling out of the window staring at me. But then they disappear, and I shake off the shivers and go back to my computer.

But then--THEN!--five minutes or so later, the car comes back. And parks right next to my car. And the guys get out of their car and just stand there, staring at me. And there's no one else very close by and it's REALLY freaking me out. So I get on the phone and wait for them to leave, but they don't. They're just standing there, staring. For like 10 minutes. They're a weird pair, too--one's like a younger skinhead and the other totally looks like a middle-aged pedophile, and I'm convinced they met in jail or some messed-up halfway house. And then this other car pulls up, and a kid gets out, and the two creepy guys jump back in their car. Which CONVINCES me that they just got out of jail and are looking for fresh prey and this kid who just showed up is a monkey wrench in their plans. So I'm like, I'm outta here. I pack up all my stuff and hustle to my car, keeping the phone held up to my ear the whole time so they know I could scream into it if I had to. I pull out and then ...

The pedophile guy starts waving at me! Not a regular wave ... a slow-motion, scary movie wave. AND THEN HE STARTS FONDLING HIMSELF!!!

I am SO never going back to that part of the park again.

31 Comments:

At 5:35 AM, Blogger simonsays said...

Holy crap---i think NOT going back to that park is a VERY good idea! I don't suppose you called the police, or thought to get the license number from their car? I probably wouldn't have thought of it until later...glad you are okay!

 
At 7:35 AM, Blogger Beth said...

OMG!!!!! SWISHY!!!!! I could have read about you on-line and heard about you on the Today show!!! That is SCARY!

I agree, no. more. park. alone. No way, no how, nada...nuthin. Sit outside on your front steps or something if you want to be outside...and DID you get a license number?

OMG!!!!!

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

Yikes. That is really ickety and scary.

Glad you made a safe getaway. Is this park normally safe? Or did you just pick a weird day for it?

 
At 9:03 AM, Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

I have been in a position like that before. So scary. I would call teh police in that town and just let them know so they can patrol and maybe save some other woman or children.

 
At 9:31 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

OMG! That is INSANE!

I'm glad you are OK. And yeah, NEVER, NEVER go back to that park. WTF?

My one friend has been on the EL on 2 separate occasions and had similar things happen. Who are these people?

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Jenster said...

SWISHY!!!! That's so scary!!

I'm so glad you're okay and still blogging and making me laugh on a daily basis!

 
At 10:36 AM, Blogger Tanya said...

I think its better to risk a kid falling on your laptop.

... or you could get your CCL (Concealed Carry License).

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Patti said...

when alone like that i always carry pepper spray. you can never be too careful.

 
At 11:42 AM, Anonymous the patient said...

well, it wasn't me, in case you were wondering.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger Mike said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

You pick the CREEPIEST PLACES TO WRITE! How 'bout that time where you were right in the middle of a shoplifting incident???

Whoa. See you sooo need to write a memoir book--the single girls' guide to eluding park fondlers.

I'd buy it!

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

Now I'm thoroughly creeped out. Kudos for getting on the phone. That was probably one of the smartest things you could have done.

Glad you're still safe, Swishy. Even if you don't get your CCL, I'd at least consider getting a pepper spray key chain.

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger Andie said...

woah. that is really creepy!!!!

girl, go take a self defense class, get yourself some mace and a gun and be careful!!!!

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger cubmommy said...

OMG Swishy, that is totally creepy! I am so glad you are ok. You are a freak magnet.

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

CRAZY, right? OK, I was totally going to go back and see if they were still there and write down their license plate, but I was seriously afraid they would copy down MY license plate and hack into a police computer system and find out where I live and hide in my closet with an ax or something. So I didn't.

But listen to how weird ... I forgot to say this part. As I was leaving, the other guy held up a cell phone, and then like 10 seconds later, my phone rang WITH THE WORDS "NO ID" LISTED!!

I used to have mace on my keychain but then it got confiscated at the airport. Apparently they're not too keen on random people taking mace onto planes ... go figure.

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

This is all stuff that makes writing fun. Fodder.

I'm very happy you are safe though.

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Ewww...what a creepy story! I'm so glad you survived. How sad that you can't go to a park without being afraid.

OK, and let's talk about Dexter. We are working our way through Season 3 of Six Feet Under and so when I heard about Michael C. Hall, I thought I'd be interested in Dexter. But I'm a huge baby. And I can't stand violence. We watched the "preview" on On Demand and I couldn't watch it. Too gory! Am I wrong? SFU is fab. Love it, love it, love it.

Hope you're well. Sorry I haven't stopped by in a while. I've been in a blog-funk. Back again.

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger Eileen said...

eeew. I wouldn't worry about the park- these creepy things can happen anywhere- but I would listen to that voice in your head. If someone creeps you out get the heck out of Dodge. Smart you by keeping your phone handy too.

If you get their license plate you could press charges "yes officer, that's him, the one with the wee weenie."

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger The Franchise said...

Wow I'm glad your alright! How did that guy get your number? Did you answer the "No ID" call? Great story but stay away from that park.

 
At 8:11 PM, Blogger Golightly said...

ew ew ew! glad you are safe, now.

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger XYZinn said...

OMG!!! TOTALLY CREEPY! I would probably have peed my pants.

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger XYZinn said...

OMG!!! TOTALLY CREEPY! I would probably have peed my pants.

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger Moanna said...

That is seriously scary. Am glad you're ok. I'm thinking you need a dog. Could fight off snakes of all kinds...

 
At 1:33 AM, Blogger Shauna said...

OMGosh! That is FREAKY!! And your phone rang TEN MINUTES LATER!!! Creepy!

Yeah, you should avoid isolated park areas, I think. Not good for Swishy health.

 
At 4:52 AM, Blogger Sara Hantz said...

YIKES!!!!! Sterr clear of that place.

 
At 7:08 AM, Blogger Beth said...

THEY CALLED YOUR CELL PHONE?!?!?! Ok, I know that it probably wasn't them...but still...that is toooooo creepy!

You better be extra careful girl....I MEAN IT.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger Kari Lee Townsend said...

Um, yeah, no more park for you, missy. Ugh. Very scary. There are some crazy people out there. You can never be too careful.

 
At 6:55 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

I think I just got the creeps from reading this. I'll bet your are right about how those two met. So gross. And while we're on this topic: do guys honestly think we would be turned-on by the self-fondling thing? Gracious me.

And I'm thrilled to see someone else out there thinks Dexter is hot. (well, the actor) He was so plain and boring on Six Feet Under, but sometime along the line, he got a tan and yummmmmm. I can't wait until it starts up again.

 
At 11:18 PM, Blogger Eileen said...

That is bad, very bad. Do not go to the park alone anymore. Promise. There are too many perps. and creeps out there who are out there just looking for beautiful girls like you. Promise not to take any chances.
I hope you called the police.
So glad you are OK.
XOXO

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger kim said...

Dudette, that's not even funny. This reminds me of the Oprah I just saw and how you should leave at the first sense of ook.

Thank God you left -- shivers!

Yeah, and what other's say -- report it just as a head's up to patrol that park.

 
At 2:19 PM, Blogger Katirocks said...

Holy crap, Creepy McCreeperson is right! Seriously, stay away from that park please!!

- Kate

 

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