It's like this and like that and like this and uh
I lose all semblance of an attention span when it's hotter than 95 degrees outside, so in no particular order ...
* I am so in love with the new 100-calorie Hostess cupcakes. I guess I'm not really supposed to eat three packages in one sitting (not that, uh, I've done that or anything), but I mean ... they ARE only 100 calories each, right? I don't eat the yellow ones or carrot cake ones, though. Just chocolate.
* All right, I know, I know, I'm totally obsessed with the asstastic Scott Baio. But the last episode, when his girlfriend's daughter's trying to ask him a serious question and he can't bother to look up from his texting for two seconds to answer? That kind of thing DRIVES ME CRAZY! Massive, MASSIVE pet peeve of mine. At least he proved what an awesome guy he is by BUYING HER A TOASTER OVEN FROM COSTCO. Blechh.
* In other VH1 reality news, Man Band is on right now. My very fast thoughts: Jeff Timmons is a whiny little girl, although I will confess to owning 98 Degrees' first CD and LOVING that video with Nick Lachey in the boxing ring (The Hardest Thing ... right?) The guy from Color Me Badd does not look good OR sound good. Chris Kirkpatrick, blah. Rich Cronin is coming off the best, although I'm pretty sure I could have gone the rest of my life without being reminded of that "I like girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch" song and been--wait, wait, WAIT a second! They're holding a Native American ritual to cleanse themselves of their boy band pasts? SERIOUSLY??? Ohhhhhh, my.
* My favoritest issue of Glamour came in the mail the other day. I have a favorite issue of every magazine. Like, for People, it's the Most Beautiful People issue, and for Entertainment Weekly it's the photo issue and the "It List" or "Must List" or whatever they decide to call it that year. For Glamour, it's the "Look Sexy at Any Age" issue. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm serious, I love that issue. There's always a section dedicated to how to get different celebrities' nails or updo or whatever ... and this is relevant how, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you: Because I am now wearing Reese Witherspoon's makeup. Not the EXACT makeup, but the gist of it. Specifically, her eyeshadow, and let me tell you, I feel different already. I also plan to have Julia Stiles' blowout once I can find monster-sized Velcro rollers.
* I can HEAR you laughing at me right now! Go ahead, laugh it up, but check THIS out while you're giggling at me and my eyeshadow. This is part of what my horoscope said today:
"You feel great, and look terrific to others, so take a chance with that crush of yours."
HA! Ha ha ha. I love my horoscope. Who WOULDN'T love a horoscope that says that? ESPECIALLY on a day they wear new eyeshadow? I get it emailed to me every day, and I highly recommend that you sign up to get yours, too. But only if you like being told you look hot. Otherwise, I guess you should pass.
* I know a lot of people probably don't care about this, but WHY WON'T BARRY BONDS JUST HOMER ALREADY??? I want to see him hit it, because it's history and all that, but I don't want to watch ESPN2 every night for the rest of my life waiting for it to happen.
* I can't think of what I was about to say. That has been happening ALL DAY! I seriously am losing my mind. Still can't remember ... still can't ...
OK, I give up.