Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

The day I lost my faith in humanity

OK, so this week has been totally crazy at work. Crazy, I tell you! I left work at like 7:30 tonight and I was really, really tired. I was out late last night, I was busy all day, and on top of it, we had these mandatory computer training classes all morning. Computer classes IN THE DARK! I was sitting there for three hours, trying not to fall asleep. (I brought candy for everyone so it would be more fun and help keep us awake. It did help. For about three minutes.)

Tangent! The point is, I worked late and I was tired. So I get in my car, pull out of the parking lot and try to think of what I want to eat for dinner. OK, deciding what to eat for dinner is easily my second-least favorite part of the day (behind actually, you know, getting out of my comfy bed). I HATE it! I just want to eat--I don't want to think about it! I am way too decisioned out by that point. I will seriously call my friends sometimes and tell them to tell me what to eat, just so someone else has to decide. I am NOT a fan of making decisions after 6 p.m.

So I'm driving off, thinking, "What the hell should I eat ... I'm too tired to think of anything ... I hate deciding what to eat ... Maybe I just won't eat anything ... I should have eaten more at lunch ... Don't I have tortillas in the fridge? .... Whatever, I don't want to make anything ... I could go to the store ... Yeah, right. I don't want to go to the store ... I could pick something up ... Yeah, but WHAT? ... DAMMIT, I HATE deciding what to eat! ... Hey! I have leftovers in the fridge at work! And they're good ones! That will take like two minutes to heat up!"

It's a massive light bulb moment. And I pulled out of the parking lot less than a minute ago. So I turn around and go back to the office. I leave the car up front, race upstairs, throw open the fridge, and ...

You see where this is going, don't you? Well, a big gold star for you, because I sure didn't. I looked. And I looked. And I looked some more. I took everything out of the fridge and put it back in again. I even opened the freezer and checked in THERE.

My leftovers? Gone.

OK, there's a guy in the office who cleans out the fridge every Sunday. I put my stuff in the fridge yesterday. Yesterday was not Sunday. Yesterday was Tuesday. Which leaves the only logical assumption: SOMEONE STOLE MY FOOD!

Granted, I did not grab a little Sharpie off my desk and put "SWISHY" in big letters all over my box. I can see why initialing your food would be necessary if there are 20 identical brown paper bags in the fridge. (Which, by the way, there's not.) But my little white box was the ONLY little white box in the fridge. And most people would think--most REASONABLE people would think--that if it's not yours, whether your initials are on it or not, YOU DON'T EAT IT! I mean, right? If you didn't put it in the fridge, you shouldn't take it out. Right?!?

It was a rather soul-crushing moment, I'm not going to lie. They were GOOD LEFTOVERS!

So what did I eat for dinner? A bowl of watermelon and a bean burrito from Taco Bell. Minus the cheese and onions and red sauce.

23 Comments:

At 6:22 AM, Blogger simonsays said...

Poor Swishy...aren't some people just so damned rude? I am always amazed by the sheer unfairness of it all. And seriously, putting the whole thing that it's WRONG aside, who in the hell would want to take someone else's HALF EATEN food? Gross.

 
At 9:02 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

That stinks. But how disgusting is it to steal someone's leftovers? Ick, ick, ick.

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

that reminds me of when someone stole ross' thanksgiving leftover sandwhich on Friends.

 
At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

It just amazes me sometimes how sucky people are. And disgusting.

I would never assume people would steal food. Ever. And yet? It happens all the time.

Who are these people? All I know is I will see them in hell.

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger Patti said...

this would make me want to put perfectly good looking food in the fridge, yet it may not be perfectly good tasting...if you see where this is headed.

and oh how i would laugh...

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger Tanya said...

You should put a note on the fridge stating:

To the person who finished eating my leftovers for me:
I hope my Mono test comes back negative, for your sake of course.

:)

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger Andrea said...

Tanya said it before i got the chance! That's what i've done in the past... :)

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

WHAT WERE THE LEFTOVERS!?!?!?!!

That's my question!

I went to bed at 9 last night, wiped out from my big day in the city. I can't believe we haven't talked in like FOREVER!

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Oh, I love what Tanya said!

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger Andie said...

yeah! I like what Tanya said. good one.

That used to happen to me ALL THE TIME when I worked at the main office of a credit union. I'd bring my lunch and at least 2X a week some jerkoff would steal my craptastic lean cuisine.

So I stalked the fridge one day and busted the jerk!

Apparently it wasn't just my stuff that was getting jacked.

 
At 3:40 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Somebody used to do that to my mom..she told them thatf they were hungary and broke then just ask her for food or money, just don't steal it.

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger kim said...

What Tanya said, but instead of a note, "confide" in your co-workers about your extremely contagious outbreak of shankers inside your mouth. How you thought it was just a canker sore, but it spread and was painful so you got it checked and it's a particularly nasty strain of herpes and how it sucks for you, but thank goodness, you haven't made out with or shared a drink or A MEAL with anyone lately -- whew!

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

That kind of thing TICKS ME OFF! That is so rude and I'm always surprised when someone thinks it's okay.

Though a bean burrito from Taco Bell sounds kinda yummy right now.

 
At 8:39 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

I would never eat something in the fridge at work that I didn't personally put in there. No question about it. What kind of person does that? I don't care how hungry one is, either. Oh man, that would so suck. And yes, it is like when Ross' sandwich got taken. I'd forgotten about that. But that time, it was funny.

 
At 12:03 AM, Anonymous wayne said...

Why were you out late the night before? You should get plenty of rest the night before training classes in the dark.

 
At 12:57 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

I was teaching a workout class. :)

Manic, I purposely didn't say what it was because I knew if I did, everyone would be like, Swish! Those leftovers are not that great! But they were to me. Ha ha.

OK, and how horrible is it that it didn't even OCCUR to me that they were eating my germs?!? (Well, you know, assuming I have any.) I was all caught up in the moral indignation of the STEALING, but HELLO! Siiiiick! Even more when you consider they didn't even know whose it WAS!

Basically, I work with a bunch of people who think of it as their home fridge. I guarantee someone went in there, opened the box, sniffed it, then went to town without thinking twice.

 
At 12:58 AM, Blogger Bear Bits said...

A great way to take care of the reoccurring breakroom thief is Exlax cookies. I've seen it cure more than one "egg theiving dog"..........

 
At 1:11 AM, Blogger XYZinn said...

That is so funny we were just talking about how annoying it is to make dinner, especially for 1 person!!
DUDE, do not steal people's food from the refrigerator. Is that just gross to anyone besides me? Ewwww....plus, totally wrong!

 
At 7:58 AM, Blogger Moanna said...

Ok...a bean burrito without cheese, onions or red sauce? Sad, really sad. :)

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger cubmommy said...

I liked what tanya and kim said. I was thinking more the lines of what Kim said.

That is so rude.

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger Sue said...

I would have walked around the next day at lunch saying, "I could have sworn I had leftovers in a white container in the fridge. Now I'm going to starve," and see who ducks under a desk. And then insist that person take you out for lunch.

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Trish said...

Oh swishy...you must have been CRUSHED! Stuff like that happens in my house all the time and it is always the same pimply faced culpirits. You must have teenage boys running around your office.

And I'm sure the leftovers were perfectly yummy :)

 
At 5:28 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

OK, I think you guys might have convinced me to put up a sign. If I do, I will TOTALLY take a picture and post it!

 

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