Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Updates, schmupdates

In no particular order ...

* I finished Harry Potter, and I won't say anything because I don't want anyone to reach through their computer screen and inflict bodily harm on me if they haven't finished it yet, but I will say I loved it. I thought it ended perfectly, and I can't believe she was able to do it so beautifully. Is that vague enough? I hope so.

* There have been no snake sightings in a while. Some people would consider that a very positive sign. Not me. Noooo way. I've seen those movies on USA late at night. More likely, the snakes are holed up somewhere, getting bigger by the day, waiting for the moment I run outside in the dark, barefoot and pajama-clad and vulnerable, to take out the trash and meet my untimely, gruesome death.

* Scott Baio is officially an ass. What did he say that last episode? Something like, "Why apologize when you can just walk away?" I hope his tiny little penis shrivels up and falls off and he never has sex again. And yet ... I will continue to watch the show.

* So, remember the car rental debacle? I took the car back, and this really cute guy named Matt was behind the counter. He looked at the car and did all that stuff, and then he was like, "So how was everything when you picked it up? Were you happy with everything?" And my face froze for a second, and then I just started laughing, and he was like, "What? What?" I kept laughing, and I was like, "It's seriously not a big deal. It just took a little while--"

Just then, at that EXACT MOMENT, Traci the Ditzy Car Rental Girl appeared out of nowhere and waltzed right up to the counter! I seriously think she had some kind of radar going. So I clapped my mouth shut and smiled sweetly and tried to send Matt telepathic vibes not to ask me any more questions in front of Traci, because if he did I would have totally lost it and started laughing again and it would have been awkward for everyone. It worked! We must have had a mental connection! He let it drop ... but he DID slip me his card with a discount code on the back for the next time I want to rent a car. A discount I'll probably never use. But yay anyway!

* I have officially had re-pierced ears for nine days now. I almost feel like an actual grown-up! Except I realized almost right away that apparently I have a habit of tugging on my earlobe when I'm trying to think. I've had to nip that in the bud REAL quick. The other day, I was talking on the phone and sort of just mindlessly tugged on my other ear, and HOLY PAIN! It huuuuuuuurt!

* I am back on my running program. I went out of town, and then I decided to be in a funk for a week, and then I went out of town again, but I am BACK! I went all last week and again tonight, and yes, I feel like a total freaking rock star right now. Although, let's be honest, running still sucks.

* This isn't an update, but I am fairly certain I have seen Lindsay Lohan's mug shot 3,876 times today.


At 9:20 AM, Blogger Monnik said...

Poor Lindsay. Ha! Just kidding. I'm getting sick of her name being in every news story headline (entertainment AND regular news.)

Great job on the running. I forced myself to get up today and run. But I didn't want to, and for once it did NOT make me feel better.

At 10:02 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

Remember when I said I'd jump on the program with you with the running? Well, yeah. I didn't.

But! I have to run a 5K on Labor Day, so I'm going to get with the plan. (Isn't that when you run yours too?)

Seriously, I really don't know what is worse - Scott Baio's show or Bret Michaels. I'm going to go with the latter. Only because Bret without the bandana? OLD! AND UGLY!

At 12:35 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

OMG, once again, you amaze me! So many things I want to comment on, so little time!

BTW, you wrote SNACKS instead of SNAKES...

IM me girlfriend!

At 12:55 PM, Blogger Tanya said...

Why oh Why does the media care so much about the fearful foursome(Brittany, Lindsay, Paris, & Nicole)?

At 1:06 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

HA! Probably because I was STARVING when I wrote it!!

At 1:10 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

OK, I commented too soon, because it looks like I'm saying the media care about Lindsay et al because I was starving ... ha ha. I wrote SNACKS because I was starving!

Officially, I run mine September 15 (I gave myself lots of screw-up room ... ha ha). But I'm thinking of running a practice one on Labor Day. Then we can be in misery together!

At 6:00 PM, Blogger XYZinn said...

Dude, if Lindsay goes to jail I would actually be kind of happy. A normal person would not be able to get away with that kind of stuff, so why should a celebrity. She needs to learn a lesson.
On another celebrity note, have you seen Britney lately? She is a mess and I can honestly say I feel bad for her.
Oh my gosh kristabella, Bret is sooo ugly without his bandana. What is up with his hair! Totally gross. And Scott Baio's hair is gross too!

At 6:07 PM, Blogger flea said...

omg isn't it crazy how just when you can't possibly stand to hear another word on LL there it is again!! ugh! enough already

you run? man i wish i could run,i to damn lazy..

At 8:37 PM, Blogger kim said...

I think Scott Baio can provide a service for people pining over an ex-boyfriend who was kind of jerk.

I'll explain -- I think it it will help get woman through the denial that keeps us upset over complete morons. You know, when you go throught the, "here I am a mess and you are going on with your life without a care" phase, but secretly we hope they are pining for us too.

Here we will force each other to watch Scott Baio is 45 and single, thus hastening the process to the final phase of closure a.k.a. knowing that we didn't lose the love of our life, we doged a freaking bullet -- WHEW!

...Okay, did you see that poor playmate girl, still upset after 20 years. She was visibly still hurting and he was oblivious.

At 9:12 PM, Anonymous Eileen said...

The snakes aren't just getting bigger- they are breeding. Making hoardes of baby snakes. Or maybe they've gone away. Hard to say.

At 12:20 AM, Blogger The Franchise said...

Whose Scott Baio's friend? Is it Johnny? That guy is deplorable. Did you see him at the end of the episode trying anything he could to get those girls to stay. He's like 45!!!! Grow up!!! I hate him. Damn you VH1 you win again.

At 12:27 AM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

Ewww, I'd forgotten about the snakes.

At 6:02 AM, Blogger simonsays said...

Swishy girl, I don't know you well but you make me laugh....

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Ben O. said...

Remind me to never just walk off without apologizing.


Ben O.

At 12:03 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

I want to know more about Matt, the car-rental guy.

At 3:04 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Do you tug other people's ears too? 'Cause you could try that instead of tugging your own.

At 4:44 PM, Blogger Beth said...

can you believe I haven't seen the Scott Baio show yet? what kind of a celebrity stalker am I??!!! ;)

I love you Swish...my heart just overflows for you...you ALWAYS make me smile and laugh and I really need that nowadays.

You rock!

At 9:57 PM, Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

I'm secretly hoping Lindsay does a little jail time too.

Normal people don't get away with all that crap....Normal non-famous people would be sitting their asses in jail.

At 12:00 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Ohhhh! You guys! You're SO NICE! Beth, you TOTALLY rock! You're the best!

Wow. That was a lot of exclamation points. But it's true!

So Scott Baio. Beth, you must watch. Kim, you are SO RIGHT! With some guys you think, Ohhh, they'll get it eventually. Scott Baio is proof positive that SOME MEN NEVER DO.

His Wonder Years BFF is Jason Harvey or whatever the hell that guy's name is. The big brother. He's the sanest one in the bunch. JOHNNY, on the other hand, is a COMPLETE SCUMBAG. Ughhh, that guy is gross. He was BEGGING those girls to stay and it was pathetic.

And Jenster ... LOL.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Andie said...

I'm so tired of hearing about Lohan.
hey, put mothballs around your place... that supposedly keeps the snakes away!!


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