Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


I said this in the comments of my last post, but I'm going to say it again: I am such a lucky girl to have all of the nicest, funniest, smartest, most compassionate people in the world visiting my blog. You guys are awesome!

I didn't sleep that much last night--from 5ish a.m. to 6ish a.m. So I saw all kinds of TV. I got to see the same episode of 24 on two different channels. I got to see the Amy Winehouse video for "Rehab" approximately 32 times. I got to see the Dawson's Creek where Pacey and Joey get locked in a K-Mart. And, of course, Saved by the Bell, back when Screech was just a wacky high school geek without a sex tape.

Anyway, so I was pretty much in a daze most of the day. I completely embraced the fact that I looked like roadkill, and it was strangely liberating to let the world know I felt like shit instead of trying to cover it up like people usually do. I owned it, baby! I totally indulged, too--I got a massage. (Apparently my back is, like, worst ever. YEAH! He's all, "Usually people either have bad shoulders, or a bad lower back. One or the other. Your EVERYTHING is bad." Because, my friends, Swishy doesn't do anything half-assed!) And pretty soon I'm going to climb into a bubble bath with a chocolate shake and read Friend of Swishy Allison Winn Scotch's brand-new book The Department of Lost and Found. So, good stuff.

I am doing OK. I am still processing everything, but I will be OK.

So, the quickies:

* The snake update. There hasn't been a snake sighting in, like, a week. Last Friday, we got a crazy, crazy storm. It rained SO HARD! This is what the stairs from the parking lot looked like when I got home from work:

I was talking to my friend and I was all, "The snake has GOT to be dead now!" And she was like, "Are you kidding me? He's probably BIGGER now!"

So ... the snake watch continues.

* I caught a little bit of Oprah today. It was about aging, and Diahann Carroll, Nora Ephron and Geena Davis were on. They were so cool. They were just confident and funny and completely kickass. That is the one thing that I TOTALLY look forward to about getting older--just, like, owning my space better. Being more settled in who I am. (And if I can look like Diahann Carroll ... holy crap, that woman is 71! I had no idea!)

* Loyal People magazine subscriber that I am, I sent in my renewal way early to make sure my weekly fix of the Jolie-Pitts wasn't interrupted. And do you know what I got in the mail from People today? Like I need another reason to love that magazine:

You know life can't be that bad when you go out to your mailbox and find an iTunes gift card just for paying a bill!


At 9:18 AM, Blogger cubmommy said...

You got an iTunes card for renewal? I am a loyal People subscriber and I got a crappy cheap black purse in the mail yesterday from them. The boys are using it as a train bag.

You are so lucky!

I hope the snake is gone with the rain!

Sounds like you had an relaxing time. Massages are so wonderful!

Sorry about the sleep. Know how you feel I am not sleeping to well these days. There is a lot great crap tv on in the early mornings.

At 10:26 AM, Blogger Patti said...

that rain is incredible! and i thought we were getting it here in s. texas.

i hope you are feeling better after yesterday. sick sucks. but, see, you turned it around by that choco-shake in the tub thang...nice.

At 11:21 AM, Blogger Senor Beavis said...

Glad to hear you took good care of yourself. I kept saying that and I was like, "Wow, I am so my mom right now." :)

You should I also consider yourself lucky that I don't have Manic's email. Could you imagine the combined forces of our plotting? :) There's free coffee in it for you, Manic.

I listened to that cover of "Time After Time" last night and almost cried. It's so strangely surprisingly beautiful. I have issues.

Once again, anything I can do to help.

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Beth said...

free Itunes?!! that rocks!!

and you rock swish....don't you forget it either.

now, about the jolie-pitts....I know you saw the picture of Brad taking Zahara to school, holding her hand/dragging her...and she has that little ornery smile on her face! I bet that girl is a little pistol!!!

At 1:19 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

I hope the snakes floated off in a westerly direction, far away from Swishyville. Man, if I'd have known there were snakes in your part of the country I'd have been quite freaked out while visiting!

Massages make life better :)

At 1:29 PM, Blogger Monnik said...

Hopefully the snake (or were there two of them?) swam to a drier place.

That's some crazy rain...

Hope you get over the insomnia soon. Because, really. Nobody should have to watch Screech in the middle of the night.

At 2:40 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

I always wanted a water feature in front of my house. That totally kicks ass! Take your shoes off , roll up your pants and off to Swishy Land you go!

At 2:49 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

You are such a great girl! Perfect post! Own it baby, own it!

At 3:27 PM, Blogger kim said...

Screech lives near me and sometimes I think about seeking him out and befriending him just so I can feel better about my own level of crazy.

At 5:23 PM, Blogger Drew Blackstone said...

Never do anything half-assed. Always be whole-assed.

At 7:51 PM, Blogger flea said...

ok, i totally missed something as i haven't read lately, but i hope whatever happend sorted itself out

oh and i hope the snake drowned!! but your friend is probably right it probably loved the rain...

At 8:58 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

OMG! A bubble bath with a chocolate shake and a book?? That has got to be the most wonderful thing in the world EVER! So how was it??

I like the waterfall. lol

At 8:59 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

OH! I forgot!! I posted a picture of my CD's and my ice cream from Cold Stone from yesterday.


At 9:50 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

One more thing. I can do things half-assed because I have enough ass that half an ass is equal to most people's whole ass.

I'm just sayin'.

At 10:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dang $10 giftcard for renewal! I am so jealous - I never get anything from my subs, boo :( That rain is out of control.

At 11:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW, PEOPLE never sent me an iTunes card for renewing and renewing. You must be really special!! What a great surprise thou, to find in your mail. Sure beats a bill.
So sorry to hear you had trouble sleeping. Hope it is not a regular thing for you. Cool to hear you embraced it, and went with it. Kind of empowering and a lesson to be learned for all of us.
Keep up that snake watch!! TOO creepy, and if that snake gets much bigger, it will be taking over the building.
Enjoy your book and have a great rest of the week. Don't forget, we owe you a big thank you, cause your blog is a gift to us! Sure brings a lot of light and smiles into my world.

At 1:37 AM, Blogger thethinker said...

Lucky! I wish I'd get iTunes cards for renewing subscriptions.

At 1:50 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

You guys are awesome. I am having a sad night and it helps to read your comments.

At 8:06 AM, Blogger kim said...

My ass set off a hand dryer the other day. I really didn't think I was close enough to set off a motion detector with it. Ass denial?

Do you know where your ass is?

At 12:02 PM, Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

cool rain/stairs pic.

Snakes suck.
I found one in my yard on sunday.
It sucked.
granted, it maaaaaay have been 9 inches long, and in no way compares to your encounter...but, I thought of ya!

At 2:14 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

Oh Swish, I am just trying to catch up with my favorite bloggers before I head out of Dodge.
I am sorry you had a yucky time of it ... you don't deserve to be treated poorly, I hope you KNOW that.
The new shoes are cool. and I am totally jealous of the iTunes card. I got the bag too.
I saw that Oprah show too, those gals kick ass.
Sleep baby sleep!
Snakes = creepy. Hope yours is gone soon!!!
Hugs to you my dear friend!

At 8:24 PM, Anonymous brandy said...

I think People should send you another itunes card for the publicity because now I'm considering getting a subscription rather than just buying it all the time at the grocery store. And the rain! Is insane!

At 1:56 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Frannie, I haven't been able to get to your blog in forever!

At 12:01 AM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

OK, I'm behind on reading since I was out of the office all week.

I appreciate the snake update! Was wondering where that little guy got off to! Hopefully far, far away.

And we've had some rain like that too! Crazy. Got caught in it sitting outside at dinner on Friday night!

Hang in there! You deserve all the best things!


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