Note to men
* They're called boobs. Women have them. And yes, they are nice, but they're not going anywhere. You don't need to keep checking every five minutes to make sure they didn't run away and start a colony somewhere.
* The mere fact that you have a penis does not make you special. Can you do special things with it? Maybe. But since we don't know that for sure, we're going with "not special" until proven otherwise. (Though, contrary to popular belief, not every living, breathing woman CARES what kind of tricks it can or can't do.)
* That penis also does not make you funnier.
* Or smarter.
* In fact, NOT having a penis doesn't make a person less smart or funny. (I know! Crazy talk!) You know what else? If you acknowledge that, in fact, a woman is smart or funny--even smarter or funnier than you, if that's possible!--it won't make your penis shrink. Really!
That is all.