So I'm on a trip for work. I get on the plane, finish reading USA Today, and lean back and shut my eyes until I can turn on one of my many portable electronic devices. Something about having my eyes shut must have made my ears perk up, because suddenly all I can hear is the conversation behind me.
Him: So where did you go to college?
Her: The University of Michigan. It's a little school in Ann Arbor.
Him: Ha ha. I thought about going to grad school there.
Her: Oh, you went to grad school?
Him: At USC.
Her (accompanied by the sound of her eyebrows shooting in the air): OHHHHHH.
I turn and peek through the seat. A man in the window seat, a woman in the aisle seat, both in their 40s.
Her: So do you do a lot of traveling?
Him: Blah blah ... I have a $3 million business ... blah blah ... my brother's my partner, he's in Spain right now ... blah blah ... what do you do?
She starts talking about her job. It's not that interesting. I feel like I'm going to fall asleep.
I do fall asleep.
I wake up. They're still chatting away.
Her: I do yoga sometimes. It makes me, you know, more flexible.
Him: Ooh, I bet that's nice.
Her (giggles): Yeah. So, um, what kind of things you do?
Him: I spin, I go swimming, I do the elliptical. (Swishy note: He has the body of a 12-year-old boy.) I'm not a very good swimmer, though.
I peek through the seat some more. The woman sees me and turns bright red. I move my head around to pretend like I was just stretching, and yes, it's as impressively deceptive as it sounds.
Him: I hurt my left rotator cuff once.
Her: I hurt my right rotator cuff!
Her: I was supposed to be on a later flight.
Him: I was trying to get on an earlier flight!
Him: I can help you with (unintelligible).
Him: But don't give me a hard time if I can't deliver on my promises ...
Her: (giggles as they begin to walk off the plane together)
They are SO having sex right now.