I don't even know who I am anymore
Me, on the phone with my music-loving friend:
Me: So I was driving home last night, and I hear this song on the radio.
Me: I hear it all the time, and I like it ... but I NEVER REALIZED WHO SINGS IT until last night!
Her: What song?
Me: It's, like, embarrassing. I've liked it forever and I did NOT realize who sang it. I CANNOT believe I like a song by this band. I cannot, cannot, CANNOT. I feel like the world is about to fall off its axis or something.
Her: WHAT BAND?
Me: Guess. Think TOTALLY embarrassing.
Her: Hmmm ... Nickelback?
Me (I hate Nickelback): Ooh! Yeah, that would be a good one. But, no, that's not it. OK, it's, like, a 93.3 band (the alternative station where I live). You wouldn't hear it on any of the top 40 stations.
Her: WHO? WHO?
Me (deep breath, then I say it really fast): 30 Seconds to Mars.
Her (processing): Wait ... 30 Seconds to Mars?
Me: I KNOW!!!!
(Cue ensuing freakout on my part.)
In case you don't know, 30 Seconds to Mars is the band fronted by the guyliner-wearing actor formerly known as Jordan Catalano. I've mentioned before how I feel about Jared Leto's music career. I know that song From Yesterday (the freaky video they have on an endless loop after 2 a.m. on VH1). That, along with the fact that Jared Leto tries to use the whole "I'm a disaffected rock star" thing to get in 19-year-old starlets' thongs, is all I care to know. Which is my excuse for not knowing that the song The Kill, which was released, like, a freaking year or more ago and got all these awards and stuff, was by them. Because I automatically tune out everything 30 Seconds to Mars.
OK, but back to the song. Seriously, I could not HANDLE this piece of information. When I see Jared Leto with his monochromatic outfits and artfully smudged eyeliner and shellacked bangs, I want to hurl. So I went to listen to the song again today, just to prove to myself that I didn't REALLY like it. Because I could not POSSIBLY like a song written and/or sung by Jared Leto. I was really sure once I heard it again, I would be like, blechh, and need to immediately cleanse my musical palate with another guyliner-wearing dude, like Brandon Flowers or something.
I was wrong. As a matter of fact, I love it, or at least parts of it. Like, the part where he sings, "You say you wanted more/What are you waiting for/I'm not running from you"? That part? I would maybe make out with him if he sang that in front of me, just because I love it so much and he kinda sounds hot singing it.
GAHHHHH. I can't believe I seriously just said that. I need to change the subject now.
* OK, speaking of music, this is a totally horrible story that I haven't even told Manic yet. So my lovely BBFF Manic sent me TWO CDs in the mail, and I was so super excited, and I loved them and listened to them all the time. Well, I was listening to the one while I was getting ready, and then I was like, I want to listen to it some more in the car. So I carry my crapload of crap out to the car and put my CD on the roof while I get everything else situated on the passenger seat.
You can guess the rest, can't you? Of course you can. But just in case: I DROVE OFF WITH THE CD ON THE ROOF! I have never, ever, EVER done anything like that before. I'm so pissed off about it! I looked for it when I got home, but it was dark. I'm hoping for a Manic Miracle, that I'll walk out and just magically see it unharmed. Some punkass kid BETTER not be listening to my Manic mix right now. For real.
* And finally, speaking of cars. Do you ever see shoes just sort of lying randomly on the side of the road, and think, how'd that shoe get there? And why is there only one? I think that ALL the TIME. I used to count the shoes on the way to my old office, and I swear there would be like a half-dozen and it was only a five-mile drive. And then I'd make up sick stories about how they got there. (Yes, I realize my need to be entertained in the car is an issue.)
Anyway. So the other day, I'm leaving my coffee shop. I'm waiting at the stop sign to get onto the main road, and this SUV drives by with this adorable little blonde girl in the backseat. She's maybe 2. They're stopped for a second in traffic right in front of me, and all of a sudden, the little girl gets this wicked, wicked grin on her face. She reaches down, pulls off her little pink Croc and CHUCKS IT OUT THE WINDOW INTO THE ROAD! I was laughing so hard. Her mom was COMPLETELY oblivious. I could just imagine them getting home, and her mom going nuts, wondering where the HELL the other pink shoe was.
I guess if I were a really nice person, I would have jumped out of the car and risked my life to rescue and deliver the shoe. Instead, I just took a picture:
Now I know why there are shoes on the side of the road.