Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

I'm a winner!

So my friend calls me last week and is like, "There's this adult Easter egg hunt next weekend. We should totally go!" OK, do you really think I'm going to turn down little plastic eggs full of sugary goodness? Is the sky blue? Does the sun come up every day? Is George Clooney the human equivalent of a six-foot, two-inch ice cream sundae?

Here's the setup: It's in this huge park after sunset. There are hundreds and hundreds of people there, all bundled up because it's freaking freezing outside, running around in the dark with flashlights looking for plastic eggs. Yes, it is totally as funny as it sounds.

The goal is to find a golden egg, because that's a big-time prize. About 10 minutes in, though, I'm like, please just let me find ANY egg. I am having NO LUCK. I'm also quickly developing a habit of shining my flashlight into people's faces when they walk by, which I realize must be incredibly annoying but I CANNOT STOP DOING IT. I'm trying, but I can't--I HAVE to see people's faces. I'm seconds away from getting my flashlight smashed by someone I've blinded when I stumble on it--a little nest of perfect, pastel-colored eggs. It's an Easter jackpot!



We collect the eggs and press forward, on the hunt for a golden egg. We pass a girl who is proclaiming her fear of porta-potties, a guy who's wearing a hat with lights jutting out on either side of his head (but, curiously, no light in the front), and a couple doing their own searching behind each other's tonsils, but no golden egg. We finally decide to head back and are greeted by this sign:



We go through our eggs (we're limited to 10), and hello ... Swishy has a 90!!!



I'm positively delirious with anticipation as I go to collect my MAJOR AWARD. Will it be some fancy chocolate? Or a gift certificate? Or a ...



Or, you know, a "Here, kitty kitty" T-shirt.

Um ... yeah.

18 Comments:

At 8:42 PM, Blogger Williebee said...

Cool t-shirt. Maybe you could swap it for ... I don't know, fake bunny ears? But the adult easter egg hunt sounds like fun. There's one at a bar outside of town here. The eggs are painted with blacklight paint, and everyone is issued a flashlight with a blacklight bulb in it. Most of the prizes involve distributor t-shirts and jello shots. Did I mention it was hosted at a bar?

 
At 10:59 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Here kitty kitty. Bang! Bang! *giggle* *giggle*.

I have to find that sound byte and send it to you..it will make the t-shirt seem well better um yeah maybe not..

It does sound like fun, though I doubt I could get my honey to go ( He goes to bed at 8). His idea of a good holiday is giving odd stuff to the kids. An old cleat, a tire iron, a screw driver he never returned to the owner...oh and he gives lap dances to adults that have never been around their family on a holiday.

Note to self: make sure I have my xanax in my purse before leaving the house.

 
At 11:06 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Meow....

 
At 4:48 PM, Blogger Beth said...

But at least you won SOMETHING and no one smashed your face in with thier flashlight! YAY!

Happy Easter Swish!

 
At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Eileen said...

Well I guess you can die happy now. What with having that t-shirt and all. No chocolate prize? I'm shocked.

 
At 8:46 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

Is George Clooney the human equivalent of a six-foot, two-inch ice cream sundae?

Why, yes! Yes he is!!

Great t-shirt. Really. :o)

 
At 6:04 AM, Anonymous Sisyphus said...

Still you are a winner. Me I entered a Jujitsu tournament on that same Saturday. Yes at my advanced age (45), going against a bunch of younger people. This was my first one. I got second, in 1 division and third in the other. Did I mention there were only 2 people in the one division and 3 in the other? As you can tell I am proud to wear the metals that I won. Next the Olympics for me in Jujitsu, and I think you also qualified for the Olympic Easter Egg Hunt!

 
At 10:13 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

How fun does that sound?!?!? I love that idea. Dallas sucks - we don't have anything like that, as far as I know. And that shirt? I'm sure it will go nicely with some Bazooka Joe or Tom & Jerry sleep pants and fuzzy slippers. Did I say I kinda like that tshirt?

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Tuesday Girl said...

That sounds like so much fun! The shirt is pure bonus.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger kim said...

This all goes back to that dollar, you know.

...and so funny about the inability to stop shining people in the face -- laughing.

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

Oh my heavens. That is just too darned funny.
The shirt kinds scares me ... but I am a wimp!

 
At 6:18 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Omigosh, that shirt is rather...angry. That doesn't change the fact that you're a winner, though. I hope you've added this accomplishment to your resume??? :)

 
At 6:39 PM, Blogger flea said...

hee!

i luv it, hey at least u won something...even if it is sort of fugly..but it's Funny!!

 
At 9:45 PM, Blogger Scott said...

That is hilarious! Do you think you will ever wear the shirt? Those kind of shirts go in to my "I might be able to paint in this one day" pile.

 
At 10:03 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

I adore your description of George Clooney.

Also, the tshirt you won just might trump the "Groucho Marx glasses with a peen for a nose" I got out of the grab bag at a friend's bachelorette party.

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger Karen said...

That's freakin' hilarious! But wasn't it cool that you won?! That reminds me of the time that hubby and I went to a movie and prior to the movie they had a prize drawing. My ticket won and the prize was--Sharon Osborne's autobiography! I was like: "Can I give this back?!" Cuz, seriously....

 
At 3:27 PM, Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

Are you in Tyler,TX by chance?

My mom was talking about taking my little brother to an egg hunt in Tyler, but it was after-dark, with flashlights, & open to the public.

While it may all sound like fun---my mom wasn't about to let my little brother run free in a field in the dark searching for eggs with anyone & everyone who wanted to be there....you know?
But, for a whole group of grownups--it sounds like a lot of fun!

Way to go you big winner!

 
At 11:07 AM, Blogger Andie said...

this blog post totally made my morning. thanks for the giggle. ;)

 

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