Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Everything but the kitchen sink

Freak me, I'm tired. I'm not kidding when I say this whole daylight savings crap is messing with me something fierce. I'm always up late, but I've been up CRAZY late the past few nights. It's KILLING me! K-I-double L-ing me. Big time.

Ugh. Anyway. I'm gonna try to go to bed early (translation: midnight), but first a big mess of random ...

* The birthday. It was very, very fun and my presents were awesome and everyone was super nice to me. I feel like it's lame to give a complete rundown at this point, since it was, like, a week ago now and I'm really not trying to make my birthday last all month, but there is one kinda funny story to tell. I did the usual stuff--you know, went to dinner, that kind of thing--but I wanted to do something random and fun, too. Something like ... bowling! (I know! I SAID it was random! I was reading US Weekly, and Drew Barrymore was talking about how she went out bowling with her friends, and I was like, oh, my gosh, that sounds fun. Go ahead and laugh at me all you want, but hello, it's true. How do you NOT have fun bowling?!? And I hadn't been in forever. So I decided I wanted to go bowling.)

OK, so I go with a bunch of my friends last weekend. It's a nice day out, and I don't wear socks on nice days, because, as we've established, I'm a Pisces and my feet need to breathe. So I'm wearing sandals, but it's OK, because I've brought a pair of socks with me in my purse. I get my hot little bowling shoes. I walk over to the lane, I kick off my sandals, I go to pull out my socks ... and there ARE no socks. They might be in my friend's car. They also might be in the parking lot or back home on my living room floor. The point is, they're not where they're supposed to be, which is in my purse.

So what do I do? Do I go look in the car? Do I rifle through my purse again? Do I go up to the counter and (duh) buy a pair for $1.25 or whatever? No, I don't. In a moment of panic, I frantically look around, make sure everyone else is distracted, and then slide my feet into the bowling shoes. My BARE FEET. Into shoes worn by roughly 23,476 people before me.

OK, I am not even kidding, it felt like acid was eating away at my toes. BUT I'D ALREADY PUT THEM ON! What was I going to do, take them off and let everyone see that I'd actually put them on in the first place? Then they'd KNOW I was disgusting! I know it's sick, I know, I know, but I left them on and bowled two games even though I knew it was totally nasty. I HAD to! And then when it was time to turn them in, I hid my feet behind a purse while I took off the shoes so no one could see that they were sockless.

Sure enough, when I came home, the socks were right on the floor by the door. Ha ha.

* Don't ask me how, because I don't remember, but I ended up on this website the other day. It reviews beauty products. I clicked to see what the most popular one was, and it's not even a product! It's a mask you make yourself with honey and crushed-up aspirin, and people rave about it. They absolutely RAVE about it. So you know I went out and got honey and aspirin, but I'm totally scared to try it now. I'm gonna, because what else am I going to do with a bear full of honey, but I haven't yet. Maybe this weekend.

* I went crazy the other day and tried to do some spring cleaning/organizing. I save everything. Every last bill, every last receipt, everything. And it had been a VERY, VERY long time since I'd gone through it and filed it all. So I decided to sort through everything and box it up to make room for 2007.

Three and a half hours later, I was totally, completely worn out. And STARVING. So I stopped. Only, I wasn't done. Not even close. Right now, the entire floor in my other room is covered with paper, and I CANNOT get up the motivation to finish! I took a picture and was going to post it, because it really is ridiculous, but the last thing I need is for some psycho to come across my blog and zoom in and steal all my account numbers and leave me homeless and begging to watch Grey's Anatomy in a bar somewhere. Trust me, though, that it is an insane mess.

* I laughed so hard all day today. I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. I LOVE that! I wish I could remember everything that made me laugh. I'll have to try, because it was sooooo funny.

* Deadline is noon ET Thursday for the Swishy bracket challenge! I'm going and filling out my very scary and intimidating bracket (ha) this very second. The next two days will be especially fun. Yayy for March Madness!


At 7:40 AM, Blogger Beth said...

swishy, I LOVE you! I also love to laugh every single day....the more laughing, the better the day.

honey and crushed up aspirin, huh? I may have to try that. Heck, I've done everything else crazy to my skin!

At 8:50 AM, Blogger Jenster said...

Swishy - don't worry about the bowling shoes with no socks. Most all communicable fungi are easily treated. :o) And those bowling shoes look kind of cute! How'd you manage that? The only bowling shoes I've ever worn are UGLY!

At 9:42 AM, Blogger Kari Lee Townsend said...

OMG that was funny. And yeah, bowling shoes are never cute, but those really are. Only you could find cute bowling shoes.

At 12:10 PM, Blogger Andie said...

i always wondered why bowling alleys can't find decent looking shoes... i mean, really?

the ones you have are actually sort of cute!

I'm glad you had a very happy birthday! :)

and RE: bill purge... I just did that about a month ago. It took me a whole saturday morning.. and I didn't eat the whole time, and when I finally finished, it was 3:00 in the afternoon... and there I was, just sitting in my pj's wondering where my day had gone! LOL

At 2:00 PM, Anonymous Kristabella said...

I laughed so hard about the sockless feet in the bowling shoes!

One, because, just ewwwww!

And two, that happened to me once. So I had to buy the socks (again, ewww) in the vending machine.

$4.75 later, I am the proud owner of not just socks from the bowling alley, but socks from a bowling alley with a a bowling pin on them!

And I've always wanted to steal a pair of bowling shoes.

But then bowling-style shoes became trendy.

At 4:02 PM, Blogger Sara Hantz said...

HAHAHAHAHA on the bowling shoes. I LOVE bowling.... such a laugh.

Yikes on the sorting everything out.... I hate anythibng remotely to do with cleaning.

At 6:33 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Love the bowling shoes! You should make that your new profile pic! I take the kids (plus any other straggling neighbor kids with me to the bowling alley all the time. Maybe I should start bowling instead of ordering a pitcher of Miller Lite and sitting in the back smoking my Virginia Slims while they bowl? Huh, ya think?

At 11:57 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Does the honey have a headache? Is that what the asprin is for, or does the honey give YOU a headache and you mix the asprin in to prevent one?

Nice Shoes *giggle*

At 1:28 AM, Anonymous Miss Jones said...

I am an aspirin mask devotee! It works. It is awesome. You will be amazed. Haven't done it with honey, though -- I've used water and aloe, but usually I do six aspirin in a shotglass with Cetaphil. For external use only. :)

At 9:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The point was that you had FUN at the bowling alley. You can clear up foot fungus later...the fun must be had NOW!

Oh hon....that image of a homeless you begging to watch Greys at some random bar makes me cry a little. It would be so sad :(

At 4:20 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

They WERE pretty cute for bowling shoes, huh? I said the same thing when I got them!

OK, aspirin mask ... I read that about aloe vera and Cetaphil! I like the sound of one of those even better ... but how long do you keep it on? You don't put it on and rinse it right off, right?

At 5:47 PM, Anonymous Miss Jones said...

I leave it on for 10-15 minutes, till it gets crusty and starts flaking off. :) For your first try, maybe leave it on for 5 minutes -- you don't know how your skin will react to the acid in the aspirin.

At 6:21 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Nice! I am SO trying it. Thanks :)

At 8:14 PM, Blogger Lo said...

Oh girl, I think we are ALL trying it tonight...thanks for the tip.

At 10:41 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

I'm completely cracking up at your line about begging to watch Grey's in a bar. A girl's got to have her priorities.


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