Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I'm not sure what these mean ...

And I almost don't want to know ...

Scenario 1: I run out to grab something for lunch. I'm in the parking lot, and I CANNOT FIND MY CAR. I walk all the way down one aisle, and back up the next. Down the next aisle, back up the next. (There are only four short aisles. It's not like I park in a stadium lot or anything.) Over and over and OVER again. This goes on for, like, 10 minutes. I always notice which cars I park next to, and who's there when I get there. So I'm trying to think of that to jog my memory, and I realize I can't even remember driving to work. AT ALL. I start to seriously consider the possibility that I beamed myself there or something.

I'm wandering around aimlessly, clutching my wallet and keys to my chest like the poor little lost amnesiac that I am, when one of the guys I work with pulls up. And starts laughing. Hysterically. I don't have to say a word--the first thing out of his mouth is, "So how long have you been looking?"

"Not long!" I say, then pause. "OK, a little long. I seriously DO NOT REMEMBER where I parked! I wonder if someone stole my car."

"Did you park on the side?" he asks.

"Oh," I say. "Um. Yeah. I think I did."

I never park on the side of the building. Ever. I have no idea what possessed me to today, since, after all, I can't remember anything about my drive. But sure enough, there was my car.

A few hours later, my phone rings. "You leaving soon?"

"No. Why?"

"I thought you might want me to write down on a sticky note where your car's parked so you can put it on your purse. Just so you don't wander around all night looking."

Ha freaking ha.

Scenario 2: I'm clicking around on the Internet this afternoon, and I see a headline about Derek Jeter and A-Rod. The INSTANT I see the word "Jeter," I'm like, "Holy crap!! I had a dream I made out with him last night!!"

This is random for several reasons. I usually remember those kinds of dreams (not that I have them all the time, I'm just saying) right away, not eight hours later when I happen to see the person's name on my computer screen. I don't like the Yankees. I know a little bit about baseball, but I don't really get into it that much. And I don't ANYTHING when it comes to Derek Jeter, let alone bury him in my subconscious so that when I fall asleep, he'll take off his shirt and start running those big, strong hands through my hair and part my lips with his tongue and ...

OK, seriously. I don't. And contrary to what I tell you people, I do not dream THAT OFTEN about hooking up with random celebrities. I'm very perplexed by the whole thing. I mean, Derek Jeter?!?! It's like random to the nth degree. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN???

It has been a very strange day.

(OK, P.S. I wasn't sure if I was going to link to this, but oh, my gosh, I am dying laughing, so I'm gonna. If you want to see what I look like go here, to the funny, funny, funny TTQ's house.)

17 Comments:

At 9:42 AM, Blogger Trish said...

That first one happens to me from time to time so I just press the red "panic" button on the remote and once the horn starts blaring I've found my car...

The other people in the parking lot love it LOL

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger kim said...

Try driving a grey honda odyssey and losing it at the grocery store -- "There it is!...no. Oh! There it is...no. There!...no. Over there?..not that one either."

I'm with Trish -- I've had to hit that panic button before. Aim in all directions until a horn goes off.

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger Steven Novak said...

Derek Jeter huh?

Yep...I've had the same dream...

Only, it was pretty disturbing to me. ;)

Steve~

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger Beth said...

OMG!!!!!! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!?!?!?! YOU ARE SO FREAKIN CUTE AND YOUR BOOB IS TOTALLY HANGING OUT...ALMOST!!!!
I didn't know you were blond...I pictured dark hair...and where's the glasses? ;)

okay, you are a mush head swishy...you didn't even remember DRIVING to work!! MUSH HEAD! Nothing like that has EVER happened to me!....one time, I went to the grocery store...came out, looking for my car...couldn't find it...looked all over the freakin place...called my husband , told him someone stole our car.....he tells me the car is sitting in the drive way..I drove the mini van...mush head!!

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Oh, my gosh, it is not TOTALLY HANGING OUT! There's a HINT of boob. A HINT! Ha ha ha ha ha.

I have no panic button! I wish.

And Steven, I'm a little disturbed that you had that dream, too :)

 
At 3:56 PM, Blogger stewbie2 said...

Hell, i drive a bright yellow Mini-Cooper, and I lose the damn thing all the time. It's usually hiding behind a suburban...

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

I drive a LARGE light colored people movin' rig - and I lose it all the time ... the kids now count rows when we go into stores.
I am still in awe of the pic. Like Beth, I pictured dark hair .. don't know why ... you are a lovely gal!

 
At 6:33 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Great picture, but I still say you look more like Charlize...and Charlize would NOT date Derek Jeter, or even waste dream time there.

I saw him last summer when the Yanks beat the snot out of my beloved Red Sox. The only consolation was the profound realization that DJ is sooo scrawny! When I first saw him warming up with the other guys, I thought he was the bat boy.

The joy of being a Red Sox fan is that you never have to have those kind of dreams...Manny and Big Papi are great players, but not the stuff a fantasy is made of :)

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Oh swishy any of the csenarios is tones better than the guy I saw at the gym yesterday watching freakin Star Trek while on the ellipitical, I managed to stay on it longer becuase I was having fun making up his life in my head..

Oh and one of my secrets? I'm married to ...a ..'''former...pro...baseball ..player...who was #1 in his position in the whole freaking country...Though that was years agao. Hey- I like 'em older

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Damn, I was typing like I was drunk..sorry, I was being quick and trying to pay attention to my husband..

P.S. My e-mail is my MAIDEN name not my married name. So googling shouldn't tell you who he is..

 
At 10:35 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

What did you do, walk through the Twilight Zone? LOL Actually, I don't think I actually wake up until after I've been at work for an hour most days. Is there such a thing as driving while unconscious?

And isn't Derek Jeter doing Alex Rodriguez now? Be afraid Swishy, be afraid.

 
At 11:32 PM, Blogger Golightly said...

ooh you totally look like Jeri, hee hee AND what's this about semi-boyfriends? do tell...

 
At 1:03 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Dark hair? Really? How come?

Just the idea of Manny and Big Papi being the subject of some girl's fantasies is TOTALLY cracking me up. Ha ha ha. There was a guy at work who always used to shimmy around and sing, "I like it when it you call me Big Papi ... yeahhhhhh." He wasn't exactly fantasize-able, either.

I bet I could guess if you gave me a clue, TTQ!

Yeah, Derek and A-Rod used to have SLEEPOVERS! Ha ha ha ha ha. I seriously can't stop laughing every time I see that story.

Semi-boyfriend is just TTQ being funny. Nothin juicy!

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger Jenster said...

We all have a purpose in life. I think your's must be entertaining us. LOL

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

gender: male
race: caucasion
age: older than TTQ
Reason for not playing: Injury related to his position
Status: Not famous unless you are a HUGE baseball fan

And you would have to e-mail your guesses otherwise he'll kill me,he is very humble, he hates when people call and ask to have baseball cards signed. We had one guy who just wasn't giving up a month or so ago.

 
At 10:14 PM, Blogger kim said...

I know I harshed the heaven sequence, but that was a really good heaven sequence -- cry.

 
At 8:14 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Hmmmm ...

 

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