Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Sweet dreams

I had a dream last night that I was in 24. I was hanging out at home, and all of a sudden Jack Bauer appeared and was like, "Get out of the house now!" So I did, because, duh, everyone knows you don't question Jack Bauer. It was like the nuke hitting Valencia: I had to grab everything I could and throw it in the car and haul ass out of town. I took some photo albums and (of course!) my laptop, and then I stood in my closet and thought, "OK, I need to pick out my absolute favorite clothes to take, because everything else I'll have to leave forever, and I definitely do not want to leave my favorite shirts forever," and Jack was like, "NOW!" so I just grabbed everything off the hangers, dumped them in a suitcase and ran. I got in the car and started driving, and then all of a sudden I was in Thailand (yes, Thailand. Why? I don't know) on a raft with the other refugees, my stuff piled behind me, floating down a river.

My sister, on the other hand, emailed me this morning to tell me she had a dream that I was pregnant. My parents, she reported, were less than thrilled.

And then the other day, my one of my best friends from college emailed me this:

"Do you ever have dreams that you are going to the bathroom in a public place, but there are no doors on the stalls and everyone can come in and see you going? I have had those more than once, including one last night. It is totally disturbing, and most of the time in my dreams I am constipated, so I am sitting there and trying to push out 'something,' but in the meantime totally self-conscious because people can see me. I don't get it. I so want to go to a dream whisperer. Needless to say, I woke up and had to go to the bathroom."

Dream whisperer ... hee hee. I can honestly say I've never had a dream about pooping. Which means I'll probably have one tonight. I'll keep you posted.

(P.S. In the interest of fair disclosure, no, that is not the first Jack Bauer dream I've ever had. In the last one, I was helping him save the world. My friend was with us, and he forgot to lock the back entrance at this auditorium place and the terrorists got in and Jack was SO PISSED! He still saved us, though. I also had a dream once that Brad and Angelina asked me to co-parent with them. And, of course, you know about the McDreamy one. I don't think we need a "dream whisperer" to help us come to any earthshattering insights about MY psyche. Ha.)


At 7:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

swishy!!! You read too many gossip magazines and watch too much tv....aint it great?!!!

I have dreams about peeing all the time(i usually have to pee and I'm too lazy to get up) and I can never find a bathroom, in my dreams...or I dream I'm killing someone....forget I said that.

At 9:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't had a bathroom dream (yet) either. For me it's STILL can't get my locker open, late for class, lost my class schedule, can't find the room where the final exam is, overslept on final day, etc. Christ, I'm 42 already! When will it end? Last night I had a dream that we went on vacation and forgot to make arrangements for the cat so she was just sitting at home waiting for food. If I'd stayed asleep longer, maybe Jack Bauer would've broken in and helped her. :)

At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohhh i do have dreams like that...having to go and not being able to close the door, or lock it...or there is no door.

Thanks now I have to go....

At 11:44 AM, Blogger Bina said...

Your sister and I need to talk. I have dreams of going to the bathroom all the time, and it's co-ed bathrooms with no doors, no stalls, just people sitting next to you on a toilet going to the bathroom. I HATE those dreams.

Jack Bauer though? I would LOVE to have that dream!

At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thialand? On a raft? With more refugees? Uh, yeah, your laptop is a necessity there. LOL

At 12:25 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

We all know I talk/sleep/dream poop all the time. In fact, I just about clogged it again! LOL.

Ask your friend if she's afraid of public toilets. I bet she is.

For me, my scariest dreams involve being stuck in a classroom at the board (do they have chalk boards in classrooms anymore?) and having to solve a math equation. Or failing my math class and not being able to graduate.

Also, how 'bout those dreams where you know you are going to be shot and you just crouch down really low, and you're hot and your heart is beating and you just start saying Hail Mary's and then you just say "Get it over with already and just shoot me!"

Did you ever have that one?

At 2:16 PM, Anonymous Jill said...

Okay, I admit...I am the one with the bathroom dreams. I have them all the time and it is good to know other people (I almost just spelled poople) have them too. I am kind of paranoid of public restrooms. Come on, they are creepy...and I HATE when the water is cold or there is no soap to wash your hands. EWWWW!!!

At 7:14 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Little know fact..I'm a dream whisperer. When Ms.Cleo got her booty jailed, she left her buisness to me, which I promptly liquidated and sent the money to an off shore bank.
The point is, for a $25.00 ( I normally charge $100.00 but you a good blogger so I give you special rate)starting fee, I can tell you what your dream meant. For all three dreams listed in your post, I'll make it an even $60.00

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

UGH. I would be scared.to.death to hear what a dream whisperer would have to say about my dreams. Although I haven't had the poop dream yet either - which is shocking considering the amount of poop I deal with daily :O)

At 11:55 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

No poop dreams yet! Maybe tonight.

I've been out of college forever, but I dream all the time that it's time for finals and I haven't gone to class all semester, and then I start to panic. Probably because it happened a few times :)

At 3:27 PM, Blogger Jess Riley said...

I recently dreamed I was hanging out again with my high school friend from hell. When I woke up I was SO relieved.

(You'll have to update if you have a poop dream!)

At 5:49 PM, Blogger Karen said...

Jack Bauer in your dreams?! Now that would be really scary...and stressful. I can just hear him screaming NOW! in that authoritative voice. Wow.

Hope you're well and looking forward to Grey's! Hugs from Wisconsin!


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