Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Rachael Ray, I'm not

More on the resolutions front later with Swish-O-Manic '07, but in the meantime, a sample of the rollicking times on the self-improvement bandwagon so far ...

I thought it might be a fun (ha) thing to try to make something new every week. As in cook. As in real food, not cookies or cakes or brownies (those, I do just fine). Just to broaden my horizons. This is not one of my for-real, drop-dead-serious resolutions. The for-real ones, I keep. This is one of the half-hearted ones that I'll keep up as long as I can. Which, since I value what precious little is left of my sanity, I'm guessing won't be long.

I got my little brainstorm reading USAToday.com. I clicked on the New Year's recipes thing in the Life section and this chicken marinara thing jumped out at me. It looked yummy and healthy and, most important, super-duper easy. It WAS easy. If you're not a complete IDIOT. Like, apparently, I am.

Mistake No. 1: Deciding to cook something new on a night when I'd agreed to pick someone up from the airport. I go straight from work and end up waiting an hour while the plane taxies around waiting for a free gate. So I don't end up getting started until, like, 7:30.

Mistake No. 2: Being the aforementioned idiot. I get home and start heating some oil in the skillet. I get the chicken out of the fridge and go to sprinkle some garlic powder over it ... and OOPS! No garlic powder in the cupboard! Onion powder, yes. Garlic powder, no. Could I have used the onion powder? Probably. But there were principles at work here, principles that demanded I DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME, principles that inexplicably propelled me out the door to the grocery store to get freaking garlic powder. (And yes, I thought about checking to make sure I had everything before I went to the grocery store LESS THAN 24 HOURS EARLIER, but of course I thought, "Ohhhh ... I have a million spices. It's fine." Because, yes, I am an idiot. Have I mentioned that yet?)

Mistake No. 3: Being born a complete spaz. By this point, it's after 8 p.m., the stuff has to simmer for 20 minutes after it cooks, and I still have to make a little bit of angel hair pasta. AND I have to leave for the gym by 8:45 at the absolute latest so I can work out (for-real resolution No. 2). I'm beyond aggravated. I just want to GET DONE already, and I start rushing around in a pissed-off frenzy. You can guess the rest: I knock over an open container of basil, which spills all over the floor. I lean down to scoop it up and in the process knock into the fork-y thing that's in the sauce, flinging tomato, oregano and heaven knows what else all over the walls.

I did not think it was very funny at the time, so there are no pictures of my spice-and-sauce decorated kitchen. I did, however, take a picture of the chicken when it was done, so you can see just how simple this all should have been. I didn't think it tasted that great, but I might have just been too pissed to tell. At that point, the last thing I wanted to do was give it the satisfaction of tasting good.



Thankfully, I've done much better so far with my for-real resolutions. Like, for example, this one:

19 Comments:

At 12:03 AM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

Oh Honey ... I hardly know what to say, as you said it all already.
I think you did quite well under the circumstances. Being rushed always messes up cooking. And hey, at least you can do cookies, cakes and the likes .. Frannie, not so much.

 
At 12:12 AM, Blogger TTQ said...

Domino effect, at least thats what I call it..But I do take bubble baths almost every night and a have a fleet of rubber duckies. Honey was snapping pictures the other night, my cat sits on the edge of the tub while I take a bath. She loves bubbles..I however looked just psychotic, obviously he didn't get the memo outling bathing rituals not to be fucked with.

 
At 7:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

aww Swish...you have me peeing my pants over here! I love the tub with the ducky! I freakin LOVE you1 You're the BEST!

next time, put your chicken in the pan, pour a jar of Prego over it and forget it!

 
At 10:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hm... I probably should have taken a picture of "Bubby's Turkey Meatloaf with Red Pepper Sauce" that I made last night for a friend coming over, not realizing that it takes 90 minutes to cook on top of prep time.

Wanna come over? Help me pick out the pillow?

 
At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahaha sounds like Robin Williams trying to put dinner together in Mrs. Doubtfire.

Sorry...it probably wasn't very funny while it was all happening.

 
At 1:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I had to pick one thing to look perfect, my kitchen or my toenails, it would TOTALLY be my feet - you are a wise woman :)

And the fact that you would even TRY to cook something AND go to the gym in the same night means that you, Swishy, are my hero!

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger honeykbee said...

I feel that, if nothing else, I know your soaking feet so well!

 
At 6:20 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

cute tootsies tootsy!

 
At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh no. No words for that one. But your toes are cute. I LOVE bubble baths. I take at least one a week. That's part of my me time. You go girl;)

 
At 10:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFL - hysterical!

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

Very ambitious, cooking and working out all in the same night. Heck, I can't even do the Prego over some chicken like beth said, on most nights. You're doing just fine.

 
At 10:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Toooo funny!!!

 
At 10:53 PM, Anonymous Eileen said...

Rubber ducky porn! I love it

 
At 1:24 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

You guys are all so cute and funny! I have to be good to my feet because I'm a Pisces, remember?

It was very Mrs. Doubtfire! I was so mad, though, I only managed to eat like half of one and threw out the leftovers. No, no issues here ...

 
At 7:31 AM, Blogger Karen said...

Well, at least you ATTEMPT to cook. I can't even say that much. I'm a complete loser in the kitchen. Plus, I hate to cook. Wish I hated to eat....

Hi. Just stopping by to visit. Hope you're having a great day. Grey's starts Thursday - YAY!!!!

 
At 8:21 AM, Blogger Golightly said...

I never can cook anything right without the right amount of time (just to think, on my part) so that could be it - you did good. The pic looks yummy and so does the bath - I am so jealous - its been forever since I've been able to take some time and soak in a tub.

 
At 4:53 AM, Anonymous ramblin rose said...

bubble baths solve everything...


I agree with frannie....

and hey I'm back to reading blogs again... wo hoo

 
At 2:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel that way about baking. LOL I can't bake unless it comes out of a box.

now, cooking, I have down. But baking, no go.

 
At 12:54 PM, Blogger kim said...

It looks tasty.

1. I have a yummy terryaki pork chop sandwich recipe if you want it --remind me -- it's a quicky and you will impress people.

2. I'm a food snob and lable reader -- I steer clear of most crappy ingredients unless I'm at the movies. When I've no time to make a red sauce from scratch, I've discovered that the Archer Farms brand sold at Target is cheap and wholesome. It's not organic, but evrything else is up to snuff. Try the tomato - basil -- it's delish.

3. If I had a foot fetish I'd be hot for you. This is the second picture of your feet that I've seen and they are very nice feet--indeed.

 

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