Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I can see clearly now ...

So I was at the eye doctor for, like, two hours yesterday.

Bad news: I have a retinal tear in my right eye. It pisses me off, because he showed me my test results from two years ago and they're PERFECT and then he showed me last year and this year, and you can see this huge difference. I want perfect! Basically, it affects my peripheral vision. It freaks me out a little because HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH TV IF I GO BLIND?!? (I'm not really going to go blind, at least I hope not, anyway, but I do have to go back in three months to see if there's any change. Boo.)

By the way, the test to determine such things is the worst thing ever. You have to look into this machine filled with bright light and stare at this tiny black square in the middle. Every time you see clear, squiggly lines somewhere in the machine, you have to click a button. And you're supposed to try not to blink. And it goes on FOREVER! All I kept thinking was, "How come they never try THIS on 24?" Forget ripping off people's fingernails; give someone 20 minutes of that and I guarantee they'll spill all of their secrets and their next-door neighbor's to boot. I was seeing, like, quadruple by the time I was done.

Good news: This is the real point of my post. I GOT NEW GLASSES! This is huge because I HATE glasses. The very first thing I do in the morning is put in my contacts and the last thing I do at night is take them out. I only wear glasses to read or watch TV in bed. (It's so funny when I think about it, because ironically enough I was SCARED TO DEATH when I first got contacts--I was maybe 11 or 12, and I wanted them sooo bad, but then I realized I didn't really know what I looked like without glasses and I was afraid I would look bad and I wouldn't want them anymore and my parents would get mad at me.)

But anyway. I hadn't gotten new glasses in TEN YEARS. My glasses are such crap--they're all scratched, and I fall asleep on them all the time so they're totally crooked. So I decided it was time for a new pair. Here's the scary part: I let the girls at the doctor's office pick them out for me! I figured since I've hated every pair I've ever gotten, and they look at glasses every day, they would know better than I would. So the one girl brought me maybe 20 pairs and we narrowed it down to four, and then I tried on the four for her and two other girls. They independently picked the same pair as their favorite. And the one that was my favorite was everyone's LEAST favorite. (Ha! There you go.)

So I got new glasses. They are SO DIFFERENT from any pair I've ever had. They're forest green. (I KNOW! FOREST GREEN! But I have green eyes, so ... I guess it works.) I tried to find a similar-looking pair online, but I couldn't find one, so you'll have to wait until they come in to see what they look like. Is the suspense not killing you?!? It's killing me.

16 Comments:

At 12:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes it's killing me! But tell me this...are YOU going to be wearing the glasses in the picture or do we just get the glasses by themselves...cuz it's really not the same and to get the full effect of these wonderful glasses, we really need a head under them, so I think a picture of you would be great! Ya, that'll work just fine! ;)

 
At 4:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never much fun going to eye specialists. I've had to go along and have them push needles in my eyes before....now that is crappy.

 
At 6:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a hole in my retina several years ago and it healed itself … the Dr. said that when you are young your eyes tend to heal themselves … I have gotten glasses in at least 7 or 8 years, you have inspired me though, I think I will let the girls (at the office, not my girls) pick them out, gotta be better than my choices.

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Ughhh ... NEEDLES?! HOLES?! I definitely got off lucky.

Oh, Beth ... ha ha ha. We'll see how they look first!

 
At 10:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glasses can't possibly look bad on someone that looks like REESE WITHERSPOON!

They'll be adorable...

 
At 7:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! You look like Reese Witherspoon? I'm gonna freakin slap you!

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Your green eyes ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! You should post a picture of them on your blog... the people who already love you will love you more when they see how pretty your eyes are!

Can't wait to see the glasses. I am sure you'll look so literary!

 
At 9:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with Beth. I want a picture!!!!

 
At 9:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

New glasses are one of the most exciting things in life! I used to work at an optometrist's office and had the luxury of having seven pairs of glasses. Sadly, I'm back down to one at a time. Can't wait to see pictures!

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

I am laughing so hard ... no! Reese Witherspoon was what came up when I did that "Which celebrity do you look like" thing online, but only because we both have blonde hair. LOL. I may have to finally post a picture after all ... or not, if I want to keep the illusion alive!

Oh, Manic, you're the best. :)

 
At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so your loyal readers want to see a picture, but let me guess--you aren't gonna post a picture, are you? stress ball.

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger Bina said...

Wow, a tear? How does that happen? Can you feel it?

I had glasses for about six years and it was freaking amazing how much better I saw with my new ones. I didn't have to look past the scratches or have the tape stick to the side of my head that was holding an arm on! It's just clear sight!

 
At 11:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yah! for new glasses. Boo! for the retina tear.
I haven't had a new pair of glasses in over 5 years b/c I do the same - live in my contacts. And green - that sounds so cool.

 
At 3:01 PM, Blogger Jenster said...

I'm tough and can handle just about anything, but I HATE anybody doing anything to my eyes. I can't even wear contacts. Which right now is okay because I don't need glasses at the moment.

You're a brave girl, Swishy!

BTW - That celebrity match up thing told me I looked most like Kate Beckinsale and Hally Berry. BWAHAHAHA!! I think my 14-year-old son was offended that I would sully two hotties like that. And how could they have ranked equal when they look nothing alike?? Too funny.

 
At 10:35 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Diva's got an ear infection. Would love to catch up via IM before I leave!!! If you see me on Friday, send me a hello!

xo

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

WTF?!?!? I switched, and now half the comments are showing up as Anonymous! DOH. I knew it couldn't be seamless.

Nope, Bina, can't feel it. Just a little irritation sometimes.

Kate Beckinsale and Halle Berry! LOL ... but that's impressive!

 

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