Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Hell has frozen over

And it's in my apartment.

That's right, kids: We've now entered Day 3 of the Great Power Outage of '07. Otherwise known as the Swishy Suicide Watch.

I look like a freaking war refugee. The living room is a disaster--newspaper, batteries, firewood, blankets, bottles of water, whatever--everywhere. I'm so sleep deprived that my hands are shaking. I'm serious. Last night, I came home from work, took one step into my apartment, and started bawling my eyes out. I slept from maybe 4 to 7 a.m.

I seriously did try to have a sense of humor about it all, I promise I did. The first day, it sucked, but I tried to laugh about it. Watch Swishy try to build a fire! Watch Swishy stumble into her closet door! Watch Swishy amuse herself by playing Tetris and watching season two of Grey's Anatomy on a portable DVD player until the battery runs out! It was like a little adventure--I'd make the best of it, and then tell funny stories about it later. But yesterday afternoon, all of my patience flew out the window. And last night? Last night was just miserable. And cold. And miserable.

A couple of people who had power offered to let me stay with them last night, but I just couldn't. I was working late, for one thing, and I didn't want to keep anyone up. I didn't want to inconvenience anyone. I have major sleep issues. And I'm stubborn.

But last night broke me. I am not going back home until the power's on. No freaking way. Because, aside from the fact that it's freaking absolutely FREEZING there, tonight is traditionally my FAVORITE NIGHT OF THE ENTIRE YEAR and I WILL NOT miss it or let it be ruined!

I love the Golden Globes. I love them like Lindsay Lohan loves vodka in her water bottle. I love them so much that when they used to be on Sunday nights, I would take a vacation day from work so I could watch them live. I love them because everyone gets tipsy and there are no boring filler awards and it's TV AND movies. I love them, love them, love them. And I WILL watch them and I WILL have fun doing it, come (frozen) hell or high water.

When I'm not angry, bitter, cold girl anymore, I'll post some more about my predictions because I care, even if you don't. I thought about live-blogging like I did for the Emmys, but I don't know. Actually, I'm sure I'll live-blog the pre-show at least, so come back and keep me company.

(And there are SOME funny power outage stories, which I'll tell when I'm a happier camper.)

**Very sad update: My piece of shit hotel room false advertised and only has 10 cable channels, none of which is E! or the TV Guide Channel. And NBC has inexplicably decided not to do a red carpet this year. So there will be no pre-show blogging for me. Thank goodness for Entertainment Tonight, at least. I'll check back later when I'm less depressed.

**Another sad update: I just found out my power won't be back on until Wednesday. WEDNESDAY. If someone can explain to me why it takes five days to restore power in one of the most advanced countries in the world--in a metropolitan area, no less--I would love to hear it. Actually, no, I wouldn't. I'd rather swim in an ocean of righteous indignation. This. Seriously. Bites.

So ... the Golden Globes observations are gonna have to wait until tomorrow, or at least until someone wrestles the shotgun out of my hands so no one gets killed.


At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess Lindsay Lohan and Maurice Clarett have something in common.

At 5:46 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

Ug, I am sorry that you don't have power and that it is rough .. here I am complaining because I am virtually snowed in - but we have power, hot water and enough Winnie the Pooh movies to last through Easter.
Good luck Swishy ... I'll pray for power, so you can be comfy in your own house to watch the Golden Globes ..

At 6:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

god, I can't wait for the globes!! I want to see if angelina and Jennifer are both there! HA!

I wish I could send you some heat swishy....:(

At 11:17 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

OMG, does that totally suck for you about the hotel cable!

And I loved your Emmy live-blogging last year, even though I don't follow much of the celebrity stardom stuff anymore.

Here I was, typing away tonight, and swearing at you under my breath: Damn that Swishy! Where the fuck are you? Why aren't you on IM? Now I know. Now, you are forgiven.

I wrote 1,200 words!

PS--did you know if you Google Swishy, you come up number three, but you're number one swishy in my heart!

Talk to you tomorrow gal-pal! Can't wait to hear the rundown of the stars.

At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That sucks. My family went nuts when the power went out for one day last year. I keep saying we need to get a generator, but we still haven't.

That's awesome that you and Manic are doing so many words a day. Very cool and inspiring.

At 10:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You hung in there for so long with a good attitude and everything but to wait until Wednesday for power is enough to break anybody.

At 3:24 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

Hey, at least you still have your sense of humor. *ducking*

At 7:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

swishy, are you warm yet?

At 9:01 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

I'm worried that your keyboard has now frozen over too! Where's a new post?

At 10:33 AM, Blogger Bina said...

wow! I'm so sorry about your outage, and if you REALLY want to know, I'm an expert and tell you exactly why it takes that long. We actually sent crew Up North to help get the power restored but then another mini ice storm came along and well, start over!

When we had a major icestorm and the lights were out for two weeks all around Nashville, these three girls made up a really cute song.

"I can see clearly now the lights on are."

You know to the tune of I can see clearly now the rain is gone. LOL

At 1:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Swish, I hope things are warmer now!!! I thought of you during the Globes...did you check into a hotel? I missed the live blog feature :)

At 1:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh no this just sucks ass - no electricity and crappy ass cable in the hotel - oh heck no.
LMAO @ 'like Lindsay Lohan loves vodka in her water bottle'
hopefully its all back on today (wednesday) for you ;)

At 1:28 PM, Blogger Scribe LA said...

Ugh! Power outages are kinda fun if you're on Friends and get to make out with Paolo. Other than that, the novelty begins to wear off... hope it gets fixed soon, Swishy!

At 5:16 PM, Anonymous Maia said...

This is terrible, Swishy. I hope today is the day you get power. I've only lived through a 24 hour outage, and that was painful enough. Mother Nature's a bitch to take away TV on Emmy night. Have they thrown you out of Starbucks yet?

At 8:34 PM, Blogger Scribe LA said...

Just caught up on your Emmywatch. Nice! I wasn't paying attention for the Globes this year and wanted Arrested Development to win a Globe for anything... of course they weren't nominated for a Globe, sooo, yeah, I'm on top of things. It was on purpose, really:-) I can't believe you've interviewed Will Arnett. I. Love. Him.

At 10:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm posting on Wed., and for your sake, I really hope the power is back on by now! Don't know what I would do...

So sorry you missed your Golden Globes! The year can only get better, right? :)

At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Eileen said...

Oh the power outtage sucks. We were out for three days earlier this year after a brutal storm. I have no desire to live Little House on the Praire.

At 12:21 AM, Blogger TTQ said...

I'll trade you one (surgically) mangled beagle with no bowel control, a velcro kitty (a live cat that has surgically attached herself to my head) and a mentally challenged bundle of love doberman for no electricity. I really need the rest and solitude. please? I'm desperate...Did I mention I live near the beach and have access to a nice big pool? I set the dvr for the Golden Globes...you can rewind and skip forward and use your laptop...

At 1:00 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Thank you, thank you everyone!

Bina, the weather was FINE! That's what killed me! It was cold, but fine.

TTQ ... LOL. The beach sounds good right about now.


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