I'm too tired to pack! I'm too tired to clean! But because it's biologically impossible for me to go to bed anytime before, like, 11, I'm laying around on the couch flipping channels and mentally doing all the things I should really be physically doing. Good plan.
ANYWAY, the point is, I'm half-watching this Maxim Top 100 special on VH1. It's a rerun--I've seen bits of it before and I know the issue came out awhile back--but I'm half-watching it anyway. It's basically a special counting down the 100 hottest famous chicks in the the world.
We talk a lot about hot girls at my work, and if I've learned anything from those highly intellectual conversations, it's that men and women have VERY different ideas about what's attractive when it comes to females. For example, today we talked about this one scantily clad woman who hosts a shall-remain-nameless cable show:
Me: She's OK. She's not UGLY. But she looks a little mannish.
Work Guy: Mannish? She's not mannish. Jennifer Garner's mannish.
Me: Jennifer Garner is NOT mannish! She is totally cute.
Work Guy: Whatever. Mannish.
Me: No, you want mannish, THIS chick is mannish.
Work Guy: You don't think any girls are attractive.
Me: That is SO NOT TRUE! I say all the time when I think girls are cute.
Work Guy: Oh, yeah? Like who?
Me: I just said two seconds ago that I think Mariska Hargitay is totally beautiful.
Work Guy: A woman not in her 40s. You don't say that anyone in her 20s is hot.
Me: Uh, YEAH, I do. What about Keira Knightley?
Work Guy: Whatever.
Me: Reese Witherspoon.
Work Guy (rolls eyes)
Me: What? She's totally pretty!
So I'm watching this special, and it totally makes me think of how differently I'm watching this than the guys I know would. Case in point: Jamie Lynn Sigler, who's on right now (No. 19). I see her, I see Heidi Fleiss. Guy at work sees her, he sees the most skankalicious Mafia princess ever to grace a Jersey boardwalk. I see Vanessa Minnillo (No. 15, who, by the way, I HAVE seen in person), and I think, eh, she's OK, but there's something off with her face. Guy at work: "She has a face?"
Meanwhile, Katherine Heigl? Rachel Bilson? Rachel McAdams? (Nos. 12, 14 and 17.) SO CUTE. But I guarantee my little arbiters of beauty would be utterly unimpressed.
As a matter of fact, I can't think of ANYONE that men and women generally would agree on. Angelina Jolie? Nah. Jessica Simpson? Maybe. Heidi Klum--but only post-Project Runway, because now women know she has a cute personality.
I suppose it all boils down to this: Men like women who look like they'd be hot in bed. Women like women who look like they'd be nice. Or at least fun to go shopping with.