Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Seriously ... whatever

That's SO my attitude right now. Whatever, whatever, whatever. Just say it out loud: whatever. Total, immediate Zen. Whaaaaaaatevvvvvahhhhhh. That single word will represent the healthy, indifferent Swishy of 2007. WHATEVER!

So, anyway. I have a really funny story, but first I have to tell the person it's kinda about, then I can tell you. Instead I'll tell someone else's funny story. Ready?

OK. So I work with this guy who has two vintage cars that he loves more than life. He always comes and talks to me when he wants to be cheered up, which is what he did today. I'm like, "What? What's the matter?" and he goes, "You didn't hear?" And I'm like, "No! What?"

OK. Seriously. You'll die. This is why I should never take a day off work, because I TOTALLY missed it. He parked his classic Corvette in a reserved spot up close, because there weren't very many people at work and he didn't think it would be a big deal. Next thing you know, he gets a phone call from a guy in another department who'd been outside smoking. "You've got to get down here," the guy says. How come? Because some old man was in the parking lot, driving his car into the Corvette.

Yes, you totally read that right. SOME OLD MAN WAS DRIVING HIS CAR INTO THE CORVETTE. Apparently this man was irate because he's 67 years old and he's had that reserved spot for 24 years and HOW DARE someone else park in his spot! That's HIS SPOT! EVERYONE knows it! The spot he's had for 24 years! He has a deal with the building management! A deal he's had for 24 years!

So he decided to drive into the car, hit reverse, drive into it again, hit reverse, and drive into it again, to move it out of his spot. Leaving a note on the windshield? So passive-aggressive. The take-charge move of the new millenium? Ramming one's car into a parked vehicle.

Nobody was killed--although, apparently, it was a little touch-and-go there for a minute--but the police were called, and the angry man has to pay the repair estimate or they'll press charges. Meanwhile, Mr. Crazypants is running loose on the second floor of our building, so who KNOWS what kind of goodies lie ahead.

Other random bits:

* I am so over Grey's Anatomy right now. OK, not really, but I'm pissed off that there hasn't been a new episode in a month and the next new one's still two weeks away. But why I'm REALLY pissed is because I feel like they are SCREWING UP my Meredith and McDreamy! At first I thought it was just me, but I've been watching old episodes and going on Television Without Pity to fill the void and it's SO NOT just me! I'm going to write an entire post about this that you can ignore in a week or two. I'm totally worked up over it.

* VH1's showing I Love the '90s. I miss the '90s. Not the early, angsty, flannel-clad '90s, but the poppish, "I really, really, really wanna zig a zig ay" '90s. The TRL-in-its-heyday '90s, when Britney was a sweet-faced little teenager who had a crush on her old Mickey Mouse Club castmate and Christina Aguilera hadn't gotten dirrty yet and the Backstreet Boys were singing about never making me cry. Katie Holmes was just a girl on a brand-new show called Dawson's Creek. And Jerry Maguire--they just showed a clip of that. That was the last Tom Cruise movie I really loved. That was 10 years ago! TEN!

Wow ... I'm old. Oh, well. Whaaaaaatever.


At 2:00 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...


And, at least your cologne of choice doesn't have to be Pinesol!

And do you see I am up at 12:59 a.m.... I guess this is my way of sticking to the marital rule of "Never going to bed angry."

Guess I won't be sleeping tonight!! ahahahahah xo

At 8:52 AM, Blogger Bina said...

WHATEVER! Yep, my all-time, favorite word. Can you imagine us having a conversation? This reminded me of that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes, which I LOVE, when Kathy Bates rams into those two young girls cars and says, "I'm older, I have more insurance." LOL LOL But I do feel bad for your friend. He must have been totally pissed!

At 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, I would have blown a gasket if that had been my car, but...oh that's right...I'M POOR and culd never afford a corvette!!!

"I love The 90's" (imagine the song in your head.....I love me some VH1. But sorry, the 80's totally rocked, way better than the 90's...but I did love me some NSync...Justin was just so cute..not sexy yet. And Britney had a body to die for, didn't she? Ahhh, the good old days!

At 10:48 AM, Anonymous allee said...

Swishy--I use that word all the time and look how far it has gotten me! Ha ha.

At 6:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the flexibility of WHATEVER. It comes with options, kind of like a Barbie:

"Sure - whatever."
"Whatever you say..."
"Mmm hmm, whatever."

They're all kind of the same (also like Barbie) but somehow they feel a little different.

As for Grey's Anatomy (say it with me!): WHATEVER.

At 7:53 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

I think you commented on my post that I took down, the one that said whatever after everything? I found an awesome "artsy" whatever that I will be putting up in it's place.

At 8:49 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

Yep, I am a Whatever gal myself. It really gets Mr. Farmers goat. :)
The car thing, dang that is just something you see in a movie. I would be so freaked out if that happened in the same building where I worked. I am predicting mandatory anger management for the old guy.
ahhh, the 90's .. yea well I am with Beth. The 80's, now those were good times. Seriously good time.
I wanna rock! (Rock)

At 9:36 PM, Blogger Sara Hantz said...

OMG the car.... I'd love to have seen it.....

Btw, you're not old...... speaking as someone in serious age denial.... I want to be as old as you.

At 10:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say whatever all the time and my kids get soooo embarrased. I'm too old to say that!

At 6:47 PM, Blogger Bina said...

Oh, by the way, did you happen to know that "Whatever" is a woman's way of telling a guy politely, "fuck you". Honestly, I swear! It HAS to be true, I read it in an email for God's sake!

At 12:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That Corvette story is just freaky! I come across people like that, and I can't help but think, 'Who doesstuff like that?' Plenty of people, evidently. Whatever. ;)

At 2:53 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Bina, you hit the nail on the head! Ha ha ha ha.

At 11:40 AM, Blogger kim said...

I like it.

Okay, the car -- wow. You don't get arrested for something like that? Criminal damage to property is a felony -- no? I bet that old man skipped breakfast, or missed his coffee or something -- jeez pal.

Grey's...not cool -- it's winter for the love of Pete -- take your re-runs and go -- I need some TV here.

At 12:10 AM, Blogger Scribe LA said...

Hey Swishy -
I love Jerry Maguire. I love it when Tom says,"It's not a memo, it's a mission statement." That's what I'm currently writing - my mission statement for 2007. Whatever is one of the bestest words ever... So, Whatever, you're not old!


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