Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Why Swishy shouldn't be let out of the house ... THE SEQUEL!

I've just started typing and already I'm shaking my head. I'm going to tell this story, and then we're all going to forget we ever heard it. Deal?

OK. I pull up my checking account online every so often to make sure everything looks all right. I pretty much hate doing it, so I put it off, but it's a good thing to do and it always makes me feel better when I do it, so I do it.

So. Today I was paying some bills, and I went online to look at my account because I hadn't done it in a while. Right off the bat, I see a $20.00 transaction at 7-Eleven dated November 24. I can tell it's not an ATM withdrawal, and I'm like, hmmmmm, that's strange. I scroll down a little more and see another debit for $24.70 on November 14. Same 7-Eleven. I go down a little further and see one on October 30 for $24.55. All told, there were six 7-Eleven transactions totaling about $120.

OK, I never buy stuff at 7-Eleven. A bottle of water on my way to work out, maybe, but that's it. Even then, I always use cash. After a moment of confusion, I transition into being pissed. Completely pissed. I've got myself worked up into an absolute tizzy. I'm convinced that some punkass kid copied my debit card number the one time I might have used it there, and now is slowly siphoning money out of my account thinking I won't notice. The charges are all for about 20 bucks, they're spaced a week or two apart ... it's OBVIOUS I'm the target of some debit card scam. And do you think I'm going to take that lying down? Oh, hell no, I am not. That punkass kid and his punkass friends at other 7-Elevens who no doubt are helping him are going DOWN.

I call my bank. "I need to report some unauthorized purchases."
Bank girl verifies all of my information. "OK, go ahead."

I explain that some 17-year-old kid at 7-Eleven is screwing me over by seeping money out of my account, probably to buy himself some hot new car that's 100 times nicer than mine. Or some pot. And that he's probably not the only one--there's probably a whole network of shady high school kids doing the same thing all across the metro area.

Bank girl: OK, do you have any of the transaction dates handy?
Me, practically marinating in my righteous indignation: Yup. The first one is November 24.
Bank girl: OK, let's see ... it's a 7-Eleven at blah blah address. Do you know that one?
Me: Yeah, it's down the street.
Bank girl: Hmm. It shows the card being swiped, so it wasn't a number that was manually entered. Do you have another transaction I can look up?
Me: November 14.
Bank girl: OK ... this shows up as being made at the same 7-Eleven ... another swipe. Hang on. OK, it says the purchase was for gas.
Me, in my head: Oh, shit. Me, out loud: Uhh ... you know what? I might have overreacted.
Bank girl: They're both coming up as gas purchases.
Me, now marinating in total embarrassment: Ummm ... yeah. I've been getting my gas lately at a 7-Eleven. That makes sense now.
Bank girl: Well, it DOES come up initially as a Citgo purchase on the online statement, so it's natural that you might be confused.
Me, in my head: Yeah, if you're a dumbass. Me, out loud: I'm really sorry.
Bank girl: We do have a disputes department, if you need to contest anything.
Me: Um, no, I think I'm good. Thank you for checking.
Bank girl, who's being so nice she almost has me convinced that she's not going to laugh her ass off with her coworkers as soon as we hang up: That's what we're here for! Have a nice day!

I don't think there's really anything to add here. The only thing I can say in my defense is at least I check my statements. It's weak, but that's all I got.


At 9:14 AM, Blogger TTQ said...

*snicker* I knew that story was going to end up that way, why? cause it's happened to me..But you tell it much much better.
I'm alway like WTF? Honey! Did you use the card at so and so? No?! Just great, great freaking great...I stwe about then like a light bulb it usually comes to me.

At 9:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Swishy, that falls under the category of as soon as you try to report something suspicious it turns out you are the instigator! Good one.

At 10:37 AM, Blogger Andie said...

I'll be the same way, and then I'll do my research and I realize it's all me! you're not the only one.

BTW... what kind of car do you drive that it only costs you $24 to fill up your car? I'm jealous!!!

At 1:36 PM, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Haaa! Oh, can I relate to this one. The other day I was looking for this bag of crushed walnuts I had in the cupboard (I needed them for a recipe) and I was getting more and more pissed, finally concluding that a mouse must have made off with them.

Later I remembered that I'd eaten them on a salad two days prior.

At 1:50 PM, Blogger Bina said...

Ha ha ha! Don't feel bad. I called the bank cause some $100 payment was being taken out of my account and giving to some company called "Washington Mutual". I'm thinking, "hell, I don't have any insurance called Washington Mutual!" Well, turns out Washington Mutual is actually Providian, which is actually PayPal, as in my Visa card. Well Damn! Why doesn't the bank statement just say "PALPAL VISA!"

At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Eileen said...

I did the SAME thing once. Money and me not being well suited to each other's company.

At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

swishy, you are officially a mush head. Welcome to the club!

At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Swishy, we all do it!!! We just dont blog it !!! but thanks for doing so I had a great laugh!!!

I've moved my blog to www.ramble-on-rose.com and have a great tampon story coming up!!!

At 6:21 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

you have to stop blogging! You cannot believe my laughter here over the 711 post!

You're such a fucking dumbass!

At 9:43 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

The kicker is that 7-11 was probably open the other night when you needed whipped cream. :)

At 12:21 AM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

grin and giggle. A classic Frannie move. You would never guess that I worked at a *financial institution* for a number of years - I have called more times than I care to admit, to *dispute* random puck kid charges ...

At 12:52 AM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

At least you're being a responsible human being. There's two points right there! Bonus.

At 7:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's happened to me too many times as well. and I used to work at a bank. I don't know why the online descrip cannot match what you pay for; like when I go to target, it doesn't show up as Target, it shows up as CityPlace (the bldg/address its at?!?) Confuses the heck at out of me!
So don't worry you can still leave your house

At 1:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Swishy **shaking head** you're my hero.

At 2:53 PM, Blogger Sara Hantz said...

Swishy.... this is seriously worrying.... it seems to me like you're having Senior Moments WAY TOO SOON.... just let us know if you start to put the milk in the oven and your baking in the fridge

At 5:10 PM, Blogger honeykbee said...

Hey at least you caught yourself early. I went totally ape shit on a customer service rep once before realizing that the mistake was my fault. Then I had to really eat some major crow. Eep!


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