Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Well, hello there

I seriously don't even know why I'm writing a post right now. It's freaking 2 a.m. and I'm supposed to be a responsible adult, which means I'm supposed to be in BED! I'm tired, but I'm in that zoned-out tired, where I know I'd just lie there and not be able to fall asleep and eventually roll over and turn on the 1:30 a.m. repeat of Oprah. So I guess I might as well blog, huh?

I haven't been able to sleep all week. I've been very busy, for one thing. Up late working and stuff. For another, this has become a pattern of mine. Every couple of weeks, I'll go a straight week where I can't wind down until, like, 3 a.m. I don't mind so much being up late, but it kills me in the morning, just kills me. I always have to give myself a pep talk to get myself out of bed. I swear, an out-loud pep talk. I always promise myself if I get up, I can come right home after work and take a nap. Which I never do.

Anyway, I'll tell you one story before I go to bed. Last week, I go to work out a little earlier than usual and I hear Christina Aguilera ("Ain't No Other Man," in case you're interested in the full visual) blaring from one of the aerobics studios. The door's open, so I peek in, and it's the funniest thing ever--it's this new hip-hip cardio dance class, and there's an entire roomful of people doing a dance routine to Christina Aguilera! It's ALL different kinds of people, too--everyone from cute little teenagers to pleasantly plump middle-aged women to big, burly guys. I stayed there for like 10 minutes and watched. I DIED laughing, but mostly I was SO JEALOUS because it looked like a blast.

So you know I had to go this week. I was a little scared, though, because I'm a spaz. I cannot dance. AT ALL. I love to shake and shimmy my little ass around, but only in the privacy of my own home. And, I guess, the car. And my desk at work. But that's it! So I went up to this girl before the class: "OK, if this is my first time, and I can't dance, am I going to make an idiot out of myself?"

"No!" she said. "I can't dance, either. He breaks it down, but I don't get it, so I just mimic him."

"Really?"

"Really," she promised. So I went in.

OK, seriously? From the second the music started, I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING. Everyone else was all focused, and I was completely cracking up. COMPLETELY. I think the teacher even laughed at me one time. I was DEFINITELY a spaz. I was 100 percent more concerned with making sure I stayed directly behind someone so no one could see me in the mirror than I was with making sure I was in a spot where I could see the teacher. (Who, by the way, was a GUY! A cute, young guy who can move, and I do mean move.) As a result, I pretty much picked up, oh, I would say, 2 percent of the routine. The rest of the time I tripped and laughed and nearly bumped into people and laughed some more. If you haven't thrust your hips in a room full of a people to the strains of Beyonce singing, "I'll be your naughty girl" ... well, you just haven't lived.

I'm totally going back next week. It's a good thing I don't know how to post video. I don't know if the Internet is really for that kind of train wreck.

15 Comments:

At 7:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh. My. God. You HAVE to get video!!! I mean, YOU HAVE TO GET VIDEO!!!!

I bet you really CAN dance! I would love to see some big, burly guy dancing to "Aint no other man"!!! That would be hilarious.

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger Karen said...

That sounds really fun. I was in an aerobics class like that once and it was a blast. Keep going back!

 
At 9:29 AM, Blogger Bina said...

That sounds so fun! I would love to have seen that! And like Beth, I bet you really can dance, but just think you can't. Oh yea, video!

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

I got through three years of ballet on exactly that theory..."if I can just mimick what the guy in front is doing, maybe they won't notice me..." CRASH (turns out you can take a out a whole row of dancers if you have enough momentum going into the fall)

Hysterical. And I'm glad to see you're getting your groove ready for the dancing book tour.

 
At 2:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That really sounds like fun!I'd never have the guts to try it (sadly, I do have the gut, however). I think I could you give you a decent run in a no-holds-barred spaz-off though. :)

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

Just remember any dancing is better than NO dancing! So Shimmy on Sister! Good for you, I save my twirling for the house these days, but that's because I don't have a gym membership! Um and don't want one either, I'm too spastic to be contained..I like to walk and ride my bike.

 
At 5:19 PM, Anonymous Two Roads said...

We will accept still photography if video isn't available - LOL

 
At 10:45 PM, Blogger Golightly said...

That sounds like a youtube feature!

Def sounds like a fun way to work out & your abs must've got a workout with all your cracking up, too ;)

 
At 12:59 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

I sooo would have had a blast in there with you!

Shake your groove thing!

And, funny this: I accidentally wrote SHAVE your groove thing first, and isn't that IRONIC seeing as we both had bikini waxes this weekend!

TMI for our readers, I know, but Swish and Manic love to share! (oops SHAKE, SHAVE, SHARE... we do it all!)

Will miss you while I'm away!! xo

 
At 1:00 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Oops, I mean this week, not this weekend...

 
At 11:18 AM, Blogger Andie said...

that class sounds like so much fun, Swish!

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Eileen said...

This sounds like a blast.

 
At 2:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That sounds like a blast! An embarrasingly awkward, hilarious BLAST! I would be just like you, trying not to let anyone see me but totally scoping everyone else out. How fun!

 
At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

too funny!!!! You defiantely need to get a video.....


Can you say youtube????????

 
At 10:52 PM, Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

Oh you could so completely be my little sister...I am sooo uncoordinated. I tried aerobics in the 80's, step in the 90's, yoga in 00's ... I can not do it. I just can't and I end up laughing the entire time too.

 

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