Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Thank you, Al Gore

How do I love the Internet? Let me count the ways ...

It lets me watch the special Grey's Anatomy Oprah from last Friday that someone else illegally uploaded or downloaded or who the hell knows what ... the important thing is that I missed it, and then I forgot about the 1:30 a.m. repeat, and I was soooo mad because I heard about some hot little wink real-life McDreamy gave real-life Meredith, but THEN I got to watch it online! In its entirety, minus commercials. Seriously big-time, ranking up there with the illicit YouTube clips.

It lets me download cute little female empowerment anthems, like the one ("Irreplaceable") I downloaded last night. Beyonce has been the queen of little female empowerment anthems ("Bootylicious," "Independent Women") the past few years, but this one is my favorite. The best part is the chorus: "You must not know 'bout me ... I can have another you in a minute." YEAH! And of course, the "To the left" part, because you can totally pop your hips to it. (Golightly likes that part, too!)

It lets me Google myself and see what the world REALLY thinks of Swishy. I write some stuff for my job. Ever since someone dropped me an email a few years ago informing me that something I'd written was all over 16 pages of this one message board, I do the occasional Google search when I'm bored to see what's out there. So the other day, I Googled myself and found an entire blog entry that some woman had written a couple of months ago about me. An ENTIRE BLOG ENTRY. Poor thing, she was pretty worked up about it, too. Apparently, I'm classless. And cliche. And superficial. And I left her annoyed. And she left me laughing my ass off.

In other, completely unrelated, news, I severely broke the nail on my left thumb the other day. I had to wear a Band-Aid (Scooby-Doo, of course) on my thumb for, like, two days, because it broke so far down. Anyway, I CANNOT THROW AWAY MY NAIL. I know that's sick. It's sitting on my bathroom counter. It's so long, I feel like I should show it to someone or something first. So here. Consider yourselves shown. Now I can toss it.


At 9:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate it when I break a nail that is really long..I always want to glue it back on.

I've googled myself too! But I'm not famous at all...wah!

Swish, I have started watching grey's and I love it!!!

At 9:39 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

I love the internet, and I don't fully say Thanks for it until it goes out, or they suspend my account for spamming (same thing if you ask me).

Hello Kitty bandaids for me always! A box in my car and a box in the house. I'm always catching a finger or toe in a door, just call me Grace.

However I haven't broke a nail since my wedding! I have long nails too, in fact they are starting to curl ..just kidding I have them cut down once or twice a month!

At 9:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So when do we get to find out who you really are?

Um...er...I just wanna know that it wasn't me who blogged about the real Swishy without knowing it. He He He

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

I KNEW there was something I'd been meaning to tell you - I saw the Grey's episode on Oprah Friday. I thought of you :)

The one thing that really struck me was how much better everyone looked with Oprah's cameras/lighting than they do on the show. I mean, Addison looked 22 on Oprah and she looks 39 on the show. Makes me want to go on Oprah so I can look better than the real me, too!

At 11:34 AM, Blogger Bina said...

Oh, I want to read her blog entry. Please post the link! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Okay, begging over.

Holy crap, that's a lot of nail to have broken. How'd you do it?

Yes, I LOVE the internet as well and all it has to offer.

At 3:27 PM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

P.S. Throw the nail away. It's time now :)

At 3:29 PM, Blogger Sara Hantz said...

I'm so glad you chucked your nail away - I was feeling quite squeamish.... I'm so pathetic about things like that.

I love googling myself.... it makes me feel important... how sad is that... actually, how sad is it that I've just admitted it hahahahaah

At 1:38 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Yay Beth! Isn't it great?

Oprah always says her lighting is the best on TV, and I believe her. I went to her show a few years ago, and even the audience shots looked a little glowy. I looked much better than I do in real life!

I got my nail caught on the belt loop of my jeans. Nice, huh?

I'll come out of the closet one of these days! Nothing that exciting, though, I promise :)

At 7:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another great line from that song: "Keep talking your mess, but can walk and talk at the same time"


and I, too love the internet.

I had no clue Greys was on Oprah?!?! Holey crap! How did I miss that one?

At 11:45 AM, Anonymous Eileen said...

I love that you have Scooby Doo bandaids. It makes me love you just a little bit more.

At 9:39 PM, Blogger Andie said...

ok, I watched Grey's this morning and woah.

but that aside, I also broke a nail. a really long one that was on my thumb. NOw I have to cut all of my nails so that they are all the same length. (one of my OCD issues)

But anyhoodle... I love the internet too! Sometimes I'd rather play online than watch tv!


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