Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Monday, September 11, 2006

My loyalty--the kiss of death

The very first thing I do in the morning, before I pee or put in my contacts or brush my teeth, is kick on the radio with my foot. I am not the kind of person who jumps out of bed ready to unwrap the gift that is a new day. I am the kind of person who is likely to use the alarm clock as a murder weapon. So putting on some music helps me wake up and turn into a semi-normal human being before I leave the house. I have a default radio station that comes on, one that plays your usual adult contemporary-ish mix, and that way I don't have to think too much about what I'm listening to.

Or, I should say, I HAD.

My default radio station has changed formats. Not only has it changed formats, it's changed formats to something that makes NO SENSE. No kidding--I'm driving home from work tonight, and on comes "It's Raining Men" followed by Tupac. Yesterday, it was "Ladies' Night" followed by Outkast. I can't handle it. I can't express to you how much it drives me crazy. I want to bash my keys into the radio until it stops. There's no common genre, no common era, no common ANYTHING. And now, no default radio station.

This has been happening to me A LOT lately. I decide I like something, and then BOOM! It goes bye-bye. Which freaks me out because when I like something, I like it! I don't want to find something ELSE I like! I already KNOW what I like!

Seriously. Here's just a sample--a SAMPLE!--of the things Swishy used to love that have been discontinued in the past year:

* This Sonia Kashuk stuff at Target called "Blushify." It was the best blush ever. And as soon as I discovered it, they pulled it.

* Dove volumizing color shampoo/conditioner. I have stick-straight, fine hair, and this didn't weigh it down (and was a hell of a lot cheaper than the Bumble & Bumble stuff I'd been using). When I realized it was being discontinued, I went on drugstore.com and bought three bottles each of the shampoo and conditioner. I'm currently on Bottles No. 2, which means you can expect some whiny "I'm having the worst hair day EVER!" posts in about three months.

* The tampons I liked. Tampons! IS NOTHING SACRED? Who wants to audition different brands of tampons?!? You'll be happy, I'm sure, to know I found a replacement, but I wasn't happy about having to do it. Not at ALL.

* Glade car air freshener in french vanilla. Now all they have is ocean breeze and tropical mist. What do I want with ocean breeze and tropical mist? Nothing, that's what! So now I have a dried-up air freshener bulb hanging off my air conditioning vent and a car that smells ... well, like everyone else's. Which just WILL NOT DO.

* This lipstick that I loved ... I've had it so long the name has worn off, but trust me that it was great. I spent an hour yesterday trying to find a decent replacement. A good lipstick is one of those things I'd be willing to spend half a paycheck on if only it would LOOK GOOD, but I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING! I have this Bobbi Brown cocoa malt shimmer stuff that I like a lot, but it's not quite the same as the other stuff. (Seriously. I'm fair, blonde and don't want anything overtly pink or red. Something earthy. HELP ME!)

* Gap flare jeans (not the curvy kind, the regular kind). I should have known when they went on sale that they weren't long for this life, because Gap jeans never go on sale, but nooooo. I was complacent, and I paid dearly. By the time I woke up to the fact that they were going away FOREVER, my size wasn't even available ONLINE!

* Oreo Madness dessert at TGIFriday's. Only the best dessert EVER! When I was in high school, my best friend and I used to go there and split one because a) they were yummmmmmy, and b) TGIFriday's had the hottest waiters. And, as an adult, sometimes if I had a bad day I would get one to go and take it home and eat it in the tub. And then, all of a sudden, it's like it never existed.

* Pantene overnight hair mask. These were sold in cute little individual packets and I would put one in my hair every Monday night before I went to bed. And then--POOF! Gone. I went to every Wal-Mart, Target and Walgreen's within a 30-mile radius looking for them, and nada. Finally, I stood in the aisle at Target and called the Pantene 800-number and went through each product with them to find a suitable replacement. I kid you not, I did that. Some woman walked by and started laughing at me, but guess what? I found the just-as-good Pantene Intensive Moisturizing Mask (less than FOUR BUCKS for a big, round container) because of it, so who got the last laugh? Huh?

So I had one sorta-happy ending, but seriously! If I like something, it's guaranteed to be gone sooner or later. I fear for the future of Oreo Blizzards, Bath and Body Works' Warm Vanilla Sugar line and Aveda Phomollient. I really do.


At 6:43 AM, Blogger Jen-t said...

Satilite Radio!!!! Love it, love it, love it. There are stations for like decade music, country, dance, pop, hockey, baseball, you name it, they got it.

As far as the discontinued products go - well, OPI discontinued my favorite color for my toes and I almost strangled the girl who does my pedicures. How dare they!!!! Kinky in Helsinki was the best toe color ever!!!!!

At 8:27 AM, Blogger Boo7 said...

I hear ya Swishy....my latest pet peeve in this department has been with....wait for it..............
underwear!!!! I have worn the same kind...Hanes for Her High Cut Briefs...come in a nice lil package of 3...1 black, 1 gray, 1 dark blue...just how I like........for it must be going on 8-10 years I guess. Went in to dear Walmart the other day to buy my usual 2 packs of 3....and poof they were not to be found!!!!

Hanes for Her were still there but only in lovely white and frilly pastels.....I don't do those colours well in underwear. I thought "Oh they must just be low on their stock.....". But alas I have checked some other places and have not found them there either!!!

Why do they do THAT?????? I am a creature of habit and when I find something I like I stick with it....if it ain't broke don't fix it!!! This is seriously messing with my karma....like your default radio station must be!!!

At 10:28 AM, Blogger Trish Ryan said...

I'm like that with sports! The worst thing that can happen to a player or team is to have me on their side - poor Andy Roddick didn't have a chance in yesterday's US Open! And the only reason the Patriots beat the Bills was that I not only left the living room, I left the house.

At 10:37 AM, Blogger Trish said...

This happens to me all the freakin' time!

What jen-t said is true...sat radio or online radio. I listen to no other and if I am in the car it's got to be a cd. I simply CAN-NOT mix up my music genres.

At 11:22 AM, Blogger Golightly said...

discontinued stuff sucks. Happens to me all the time as well. I will kill if they ever decide to disc. pearl tampax tampons or my fave (new) Nestle ice cream!

At 3:44 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Glad to know it's not just me!!!

I remembered one more this morning: Victoria's Secret Very Sexy lightly lined demi bras. GONE. The girls haven't been the same since.

I have the saddest life, right? :)

At 8:38 PM, Blogger Beth said...

i LOVED 'blushify"..!!!!! And I used to Love Loreal Tunring point cream........god, how I loved that stuff. and they had a turning point facial scrub that was to die for...but....of course, no longer around. Why? Why? Why?

At 9:46 PM, Blogger mama kay said...

“I decide I like something, and then BOOM! It goes bye-bye.”
This is the theme song in my house. Because it HAPPENSALLTHEFREAKINTIME!
It makes me crazy. I can’t tell you how often I have been spotted buying the last ten bottles of something because it is being replaced by a *New and Improved* version. I don’t want new and improved! I want what I have, the thing that works great for me – right here, right now.
I could make a list … but this is your house, so I will just seethe in my private space!
K, enough said!
I have to agree with jen-t & Trish… Satilite Radio is the best!

At 9:09 AM, Blogger Karitown said...

I can't stand that. It takes me forever to decide on, well, just about everything. So when I finally find something I really like and they take it away......well, let's just say it ain't pretty.

At 7:44 PM, Blogger Alyssa Goodnight said...

That is quite a list!
I would have liked to try that blushify, but I guess it's not to be. I'm too impatient to stand there and compare beauty products--I'm mystified. I just do a random drive by and shove things into my cart. So, when something is discontinued, no big deal--I barely remember what I had the last time.

My big discontinued complaints go to Wendy's. Seems like everytime I like something there, they stop making it. They used to make the BEST hot dogs, and I LOVED those pitas. For a while they even had some tasty breakfast foods. I'm just hoping they keep the Taco Salad at this point.


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