Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

People flock from miles around to sit on this throne

Or at least the fifth floor.

My work moved offices in May, right? In the old office, it was basically just us. In the new office, there are four other floors. Within days of moving in, we noticed a strange, rather disturbing trend: People from other floors, most prominently the fifth floor, would come and use our bathroom. This was very troubling to us. You're accustomed to seeing the same people washing their hands at the sink day in and day out, and then all of a sudden, these random strangers start waltzing in like they own the place. Why? WHY would they come and use our bathroom when they have a perfectly functional one on their floor?

I discovered one of the reasons a couple of weeks ago. I walked in, and a woman was sitting on the toilet, doing her business, chatting away on her cell phone, apparently having a conversation she didn't want her co-workers to hear. Even better, she was ANNOYED when I flushed! I know, right? How DARE I interrupt her conversation by FLUSHING in a semi-public BATHROOM?

Today, I discovered Reason No. 2. Literally. I walk into the bathroom and some woman I've never seen before is walking out. I go to the first stall and there are DIARRHEA STREAKS on the seat! I'm not even lying. I was so grossed out, I turned right around and walked out. Full bladder be damned.

Disgusting things happen in bathrooms. I get it. But it's one thing when it's someone you KNOW being disgusting versus some stranger IMPOSING their disgustingness on you. Not that it's acceptable in any situation to leave freaking ... REMNANTS ... on the toilet seat. (I'd love, by the way, to know how that happens to someone over the age of 5.) But I mean ... ew. The whole thing is just gross and bizarre, all around.

I'm SO going to the fifth floor next time I have to pee. Just on principle.


At 12:06 PM, Blogger Andie said...

that is abso-freaking-lutely disgusting.

Some friends of mine and I were talking about people who sit on the toilet and yap on the cell phone in a public restroom.

That's rude to the person in the stall and to the person on the other line of the phone.

And it's just GROSS. blech.

oh, another bathroom aggravation... when someone goes #2 and they spray so much damn air freshener it chokes you and wafts outside of the freaking bathroom with a doorway and then a hall, and then a doorway. YES... the odor of poop and too much air freshener wafts out because this numnut sprays the whole can when he takes a dump.

Ok, that's all from my peanut gallery.

At 12:07 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Okay, I sooo totally used to do this at my work. At all of my jobs. My first job, I would go to poop in the factory with the FACTORY WORKERS because in the office part, the toilet was RIGHT NEXT TO THE PHOTOCOPY MACHINE and inevitably there's someone making copies when I was trying to make poopies!

It's difficult to poo in a potty where you know you'll come out and see someone you have a cubicle next to. Ya know?

OH! EE posted my New Beginning. I think it's number 57, and like 30 people commented on it!

MISS YA! We have to IM soon.

At 8:37 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Oh yeah--I agree that the excessive air freshener is yuuuucky.

And I wouldn't be able to poop next to a copy machine either.

At 9:28 AM, Blogger TTQ said...

I have trouble in public bathrooms as it is, then to know that the odds of more people walking in are higher because the fifth floor has "adopted" your toilet... I'd be holding it till time to go home.
Is nothing sacred anymore??? Can't cell phone lady find a lobby or a sidewalk like a normal person?? Why does it have to be YOUR bathroom?


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