Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

My butt hurts

But first, a few loose ends from last night:

* Paula Abdul was on the E! aftershow last night and holy crap ... WHAT is she ON? She was like the teenage girl with lipstick smeared all over her face throwing up in the backseat of someone's car. I watched the thing twice and I still couldn't figure out what she was trying to say. And her dress looked like a slipcover.

* If you couldn't tell, I am over Jeremy Piven. Totally over him. I used to like him, but now that he thinks he's Brad Pitt he's lost all his normal guy charm. I think he would screw a fire hydrant if it told him how much it loved Ari Gold. I think what annoyed me the most was when he sanctimoniously said that everyone should be donating their gift baskets to Hurricane Katrina victims. RIGHT, JEREMY. I'm sure the homeless people in Louisiana would LOVE a Lulu the Lamb stuffed chair. You jackass. Here's a thought: How about donating the dollar equivalent of your gift basket to Katrina victims instead? I do give him a bonus point for asking Giuliana if she was still dating Bill from The Apprentice, though. That was kinda funny. Except he probably asked because he wanted to sleep with her.

* My crush on Jim from The Office was upgraded to "massive" when I saw him on the aftershow. He is just as cute as cute can be. I totally cyberstalked him last night and looked up his IMDB.com profile. Seriously, I love everyone on that whole show. They were all hanging out and they seem to really like and have fun with each other. That must be the funnest place to work EVER! Other than, you know, my office. Ha.

* Kiefer Sutherland rocks and I'm so happy he won. I know I said that already, but he actually cracked a couple smiles last night. Yay for him.

* Saaaaaaad for Grey's. 0-for-11?

OK, I guess that's it. Back to my butt. Yesterday was the first day my body didn't ache like a 90-year-old's when I got up, so what do I do? I sit in front of E! and do more lunges and squats and other forms of self-torture masked as exercise. And now the ache is setting in. By tomorrow morning, I'll need three people to hoist me off the toilet because I won't be able to move.

But on the bright side, Week 1 of Swishy's crazy experiment resulted in three pounds lost! That doesn't count the celebratory Emmy cookies. But still!

In other exciting news, I spent the entire day wondering why my tongue hurt--looking at it, poking it, concluding that I must have some really messed-up, stress-caused disorder that makes me bite on my tongue in my sleep--until I remembered about 2 seconds ago that I burned my tongue last night on some pizza. Um ... yeah.


At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

congrats to sticking to the plan and losing 3lbs, that is a great start!

And Jeremy Piven said what? I cannot believe it! I agree how about barking about donating some of your hard earned cash to the Katrina peeps because seriously, gift baskets need to be donated to me! j/k

At 3:30 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Jeremy Piven is an ass, that's all there is to it! And who wears an ascot, for god's sake? Who does he think he is? He does Lindsey Lohan and all of a sudden, he's a chick magnet or somthin? Whatever.

Congrats on 3 lbs.!!!

At 7:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You went for the pizza after all;-)

At 9:59 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Okay, you start out the post with "My Butt Hurts" and then you say, "A few loose ends."


At 11:23 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

Yeah, I had some pizza. But just a little!!! :)


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