Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Friday, August 04, 2006

I like to share my knowledge with the world

So I did a radio interview today for my job. I'm, like, the go-to girl for seriously hard-hitting stuff. I mean, read my blog for two seconds and it's obvious. I have no time for frivolous matters. I want to feed starving babies, stop global warming and mediate peace talks in the Middle East.

Yeah, OK, whatever, I talked about Suri Cruise.

I love how I have no shame, too. The host asks me who's crazier, Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise, and I launch into a discourse about how I used to loooove Tom Cruise, and he's just shattered my every illusion in the past year. "I knew, like, every line of Top Gun," I say. "I used to watch the volleyball scene in slow motion!"

Because nothing says "I'm a mature, credible professional" like "I used to sit with my nose pressed to the screen watching Maverick dive into the sand without his shirt on IN SLOW MOTION!"

Yeah. So. We hit on lots of other stuff, from Suri the hermit to the p-i-m-p Nick Lachey to why Kim Bauer is dating a hockey player. (Hello! The whole bad boy thing!) Unfortunately, there was no McDreamy or Project Runway talk. Next time. Assuming, of course, there is a next time.


At 9:30 AM, Blogger Scribe LA said...

Sounds so FUN! And don't you worry, Suri Cruise is quickly becoming a matter of national security - I mean, has she been captured by aliens? That's important. And so what if it's maybe not important in a I'm Angelina Jolie and I'm saving the world kind of way, but important in your own Swishy Girl Way. And that's good too :-)
And yes, Lauren is an idiot for choosing Jason and Malibu, though the closing shots... it is darn nice there. Why couldn't he just go to Paris with her? He's loaded and it's not like he "does" anything, right? Sigh.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Beth said...

I love Project Runway too! I had all my boys watching it Wednesday night and....well, they didn't love it, but loved making fun of the clothes! And Allison SO needs to go home...and Laura...can she makeanything that doesn'thave a fur collar and cuffs? And where are her boobs? I think she's really a man. Her chest is bony!

At 3:02 PM, Anonymous Eileen said...

Uh hello- Suri is clearly the love child of L. Ron Hubbard who isn't dead- just his head is frozen. I thought everyone knew this...

At 1:58 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Thank you, Scribe :) I don't get why Jason just didn't go to Paris, either. Not like he has a JOB or anything. (I would KILL for their summer love shack, though.)

OK, Beth, did you know that Laura was pregnant with No. 6 during filming?? You'd think she'd have pregnancy boobs! I think maybe Michael is my favorite right now, although I have a soft spot for Barbie Boy Robert. Just because he designs for Barbie.

And lastly, MY Tom Cruise conspiracy theory is that they used sperm from the guy who's the head of Scientology, who just so happens to be BFF (and maybe more) with Tom. Yes, I've actually thought about this.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Allison Winn Scotch said...

Swish-you pop-culture goddess! SO cool. Congrats! It is indeed a toss-up btwn who's crazier: Tom or Mel. Sadly, I think it's a draw, but Tom's a hell of a lot easier to make fun of, no? I'm on board with Team Miscavige (sp?) Sperm, but that would mean that Katie was actually pregnant. Which I'm not sure I can bring myself to believe.


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