Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Desperate times

One Sunday night, Desperate Housewives came on while I was at work. My boss walked out of his office, looked up at itty-bitties Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria frolicking across the screen, and announced: "I know why they're desperate."

"Oh, yeah?" I said, thinking, ohhh, THIS one's gonna be good. "Why?"

"Because"--he paused dramatically--"they're STARVING! They're desperate, all right. They're desperate for a steak!"

(Trust me that this is 10 times funnier if you know my boss.)

I've decided that on Monday I'm going to start a hard-core exercise and eating regimen (I don't believe in diets, I believe in moderation, so that's why it's an EATING REGIMEN). And let me tell you, I am feeling DESPERATE. I want to eat every last thing in sight before I have to really, really think about whether I really, really want it in 48 hours.

No joke. I just ate some French fries and chocolate chip cookies JUST BECAUSE I CAN.

Here's the thing. I'm in what I would call decent shape. I'm not Calista Flockhart, nor am I Camryn Manheim. I shoot to work out six times a week, and usually end up doing at least five. But I'm not a great eater (I hate vegetables--salads to me are like garlic to a vampire) and I've gradually been slacking off the workouts (I'm good with cardio, bad with resistance stuff), so it's time to give my body a nice little electroshock to the system. Just to see what happens.

The other thing is that I am only committing for two weeks. DON'T LAUGH! My thinking is, I can do anything for two weeks, no matter how miserable it makes me. And if I totally go balls out for two weeks, then it's a jolt to my system instead of just a little spark. After two weeks, we'll see where I'm at.

I won't bore you with all of the details, but I'm going to try REALLY hard to eat some vegetables, and lots more fruit, and less (sob) Dr Pepper. My exercise, basically, will add up to 325 minutes of cardio and 120 minutes of strength training a week (a little over an hour a day). I can still have some "bad" stuff, because like I said, I believe in moderation, but I have to REALLY want it.

I'm gonna be cranky. I'm just warning you. But hopefully not TOO cranky. It's only two weeks, it's only two weeks, it's only two weeks ...

OK, I need to go eat something now.


At 12:38 PM, Blogger Scribe LA said...

Sounds like a great plan. I've been on this regimen of doing more, eating less and healthier. It is so simple when you think about how to get in really super shape, but... somehow it's usually never as easy as it seems. Cheers. I will join you on your two-week adventure.

At 2:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you've given this a lot of thought. A trainer I once worked with said that it takes two weeks to feel a difference and two months to see a difference. So once you start feeling fit in two weeks you'll want to keep at it.

Good Luck

At 8:01 PM, Blogger TTQ said...

No,not really a tug boat that I was named after. My mom swore to this over dinner tonight (but there is and has been a boat in the Port with my first two names on it), then tells me she forwarded my e-mail to everyone she knows just as I wrote it ... Then I asked her about noticing my birthdate on there('79) and she goes yeah, weren't you born in '83??? My husband almost choked on a piece of pork tenderloin.

At 10:35 PM, Blogger honeykbee said...

Any diet that includes modest amounts of chocolate chip cookies is okay in my book.

At 3:36 PM, Blogger mama kay said...

It's only two weeks ... you can do anything for two weeks. I always tell myself this .. I hope it works for you too!

At 7:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

They also say that anything done for 2 weeks straight becomes habit...
Great plan!

At 10:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go for it!! Sounds like a great plan, one I must seriously consider and put into action!!


At 1:38 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

So far, so good. I had quite a few nice "last suppers" though ... it'll probably take me two weeks to work 'em off :)

At 12:50 AM, Blogger Christa said...

I love pop-tarts. Specifically the vanilla creme flavor. And I love to toast them, a cooking method I have perfected- toasting perfectly really is quite difficult- and I love to pour a big glass of moo juice and turn on Gilmore Girls- all this after the children and hubby are safe in dreamland and my house- and my heart and mind and world- are quiet. Which is totally why I can't lose this freaking 15 extra pounds.

I've decided I'm in good shape except for my pop-tart weakness. I don't weigh no 400 pounds, but I'm not the size 6 I was in college either. And then there's the c-word. You know the one.(well , you are blessed if you don't. CELLULITE.) Damn the Pop-tart factory. Damn them to HELL.


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