Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

The life and times of a girl named Swishy.

Friday, July 14, 2006


A random sampling of the deep thoughts in Swishy's brain:

* Why is it that whenever I look cute, NO ONE IS AROUND TO SEE IT? I couldn't haul my ass out of bed this morning, and as a result spent the subsequent 14 hours looking like total crap. But then I get home, I wash my face, I twist up my hair, I throw on a white tank top and, I swear, it's the best I've looked all week. Which perhaps is not saying much. But seriously, that happens to me all the time--I finally have a good couple of hair hours, and the only person who sees it is the cashier at Target.

* So I'm flipping channels, and American Pie is on FX. This is notable because Katie Holmes' former fiance is in this movie, and I JUST READ a story about Katie and Tom's invisible baby. It's like an odd little almost-full circle. I grew up loving Tom Cruise, just LOVING him, and I still think I'd lock myself in a closet with him if I had the chance. But I'm also firmly in the camp that thinks the baby a) is the result of sperm donated by Tom's lover (I won't say GAY lover because I don't want to be sued!) or b) doesn't exist.

* I finally got the latest issues of People, Entertainment Weekly and Glamour forwarded in the mail. I swear, it was the first time I TRULY FELT AT HOME in the new place. I was like, "Ahhhh. Finally settled." Pathetic but true. I'm such a magazine whore.

* Oh, yeah, speaking of the new place, the shower curtain I'm so proud of:

Yes, it's a little wrinkled. Just ... trust me. It's cute.

* Flipped channels again to the World Series of Pop Culture on VH1. Neither team knew the Butterscotch Stallion is Owen Wilson! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THE BUTTERSCOTCH STALLION IS OWEN WILSON?

* I'm finally, finally starting revisions on the first 75 pages of the thing this weekend. (Yes, I call it "the thing.") You know what that means--lots of procrastinating-slash-blogging! Fun!


At 10:54 AM, Blogger Manic Mom said...

Home sweet home. I love this glimpse of your thoughts, and babe, you look great ALL THE TIME! xo

At 12:27 PM, Blogger Beth said...

Hi, I found your blog and I love it! I too, used to LOVE tom cruise, but he is such a freak now! I really don't think suri exists!

At 5:11 PM, Blogger Allison Winn Scotch said...

Ok, WTF? Neither People NOR EW showed up at my place today. Argh! I'm so jealous that you have early evening reading. :(

And yes, TinyTom is a total nutjob, as is his brainwashed alien bride.

At 12:23 AM, Blogger Swishy said...

Manic, you are too nice. You are SO my BFF!

Hi, Beth! Thanks for stopping by!

Allison! TinyTom! Brainwashed alien bride! HA HA HA HA HA.

Seriously, I don't even know my Tommy anymore. The big question is, was he always like this and Pat Kingsley (yes, I know his former publicist's name!) kept it on the DL? Or is this a newer thing, a midlife crisis on steroids? Ah, the things that keep me up at night.

At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of the World Series, did you see the team "Highly Effective People"? They answered like five questions right. I could have constructed a better team with my mom and my dad. My bigger question, though, is who would want to go sit in that theater and watch? It's like going to trivia night at a bar and not playing.

At 1:33 PM, Blogger Swishy said...

YES! They sucked! They looked all cocky when it started, too.

I could never sit and watch. It's bad enough watching it on TV. I'm totally yelling at the screen, like, "Calista Flockhart, you idiot!"


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